What Goes Around, Comes Around
by HyperActiveMonkey
Summary: It started out as something between friends. Harry teaching Ginny. Little did he know just how much she would teach him... This is a story of love, passion and regret but mostly of always finding your way home. Whatever the costs.
1. A Simple Request

**Newly Edited**

* * *

"Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there"

- _Erma Bombeck_

I watched as the city grew further and further away, to be replaced by green sceneries and polluted-free skies. I watched as a beautiful snowy white owl flew ahead of the train, before doubling back and flying forward once more. Hedwig was obviously enjoying herself.

It wouldn't be long before Hermione joined me and I would once again allow her to take lead in the compartment, I felt like laughing at the predictability of it all. Hermione would enter the compartment, she'd turn into 'head-girl' mode and completely take over the entire meeting, like I hopped she would. If I was unlucky, which I usually was, she'd ask me to contribute. I watched amused, like I knew I would be, as perfects started crowding the compartment, followed closely by the Head girl and the infamous Ron Weasley, who in turn grinned as Draco Malfoy came into view. He was obviously uncomfortable, as he sat down he placed his hands on his thighs, his face grimacing every once in a while as he twitched uncomfortably in his seat. Lastly entered Ginny Weasley, she stared at me and glared, to which I smirked back and winked.

Ron sat next to me and nudged my side with his elbow "I shot him a shrinking spell...you know, down _there_" he laughed quietly "unfortunately the git should be back to normal in an hour or so...I think so anyway"

I felt a bubble of laughter escape my mouth but just as quickly quietened down when I spotted Hermione frowning at me. Malfoy hadn't changed at all, not even with the death of his father. In fact Malfoy was darker than ever before, full of bitterness and hate and that made him dangerous, maybe we should have felt bad for him, but we didn't, mostly because he was still a git and Ron found no reason to not hex him. I whispered something back to Ron, mindful of Hermione, an idea for a prank that rivalled Fred and George Weasley, something I knew would make Malfoy even _more_ uncomfortable.

Ron turned to fully face me, a playful grin on his face "Ha. Nice, how very Slythrin of you Harry"

I smirked and elbowed him in the gut.

Ron grunted and returned his attention to his girlfriend, who was pointing out the rules of curfew to the newer perfects. She turned her head towards me for a fraction of a second and continued when I shook my head slowly. I couldn't be arsed with doing my Head boy duties today, it was just one of those days. I found myself once more looking at everyone in the compartment, it was littered with a mixture of Gryffindor's, Ravenclaw's, Hufflepuff's and a good deal of Slytherin's too. As Hermione's lecture continued with seemingly no end, I found myself remembering the last few years I had spent at Hogwarts, knowing all too well that I had to make this one the best yet. I had been thought to fight dark wizard's from before I was even legally allowed to do magic (my wand had been immediately made untraceable by Uncle Sirius Black when it was first brought) it hadn't been easy at times. Sure I had spent a great deal of time with the Weasley's, Sirius had to work and it was difficult even when Uncle Mooney came to live with us, two single bachelors found it difficult looking after a child on their lonesome, so I regularly visited Molly Weasley's place and even though that meant me and Ron had been best friends since forever and I never felt as though I missed out on anything as a child, there were many times when I wished I could just be like every other kid, with no weight on my shoulders and without the fame the scar on my forehead brought. I hated my scar with a passion.

I glanced at every person in the small cramped compartment, taking in their healthier appearances and fear-less eyes. _I did that,_ I thought, with some measure of pride. I had rid the world of the darkest wizard alive, and I was the reason people didn't live in constant fear for the lives of their family members. I was the reason the Wizarding world was at peace. No matter how much of a bad childhood Voldemort had made me suffer, no matter how much I will _still_ suffering because of the nightmares and the memories it brought, I found some sort of peace in my heart knowing it was I who had cast the final spell that rid us of him, he had killed my parents and I had killed him. But of course I hadn't been alone, the Order had helped and my friends had helped as much as I let them.

I felt no remorse with taking his life, I felt cleaner actually, but while the Wizarding world was at peace, I still wasn't, it was just too many memories and too many nightmares and I still struggled with it at times. It would take some time to heal. Problem was I didn't exactly know _how_ to heal, however silly that sounded. That was the thing with memories, the harder you tried to forget them, the more they burned in your mind.

My eyes stopped when they found Ginny's face and I felt myself smile. She was _still_ mad at me! It had been ages and she still couldn't look at me without glaring first. So I had dated one of her closest friends and then sort of left them in a rather cruel way, but in my defence they knew what they were getting into when they 'dated' me. I made sure to tell them I was in it only for the joys and that I would most likely never want to talk to them again when I was finished and for some reason they still got upset afterwards.

It wasn't my fault!

She caught me staring and I continued to smile even as she glared at me. My smile grew wider when she finally relented and smiled back. Our eyes locked for a moment before she turned them away from me to pay attention to Hermione. Ginny and I were the best of friends. I felt drawn to her for some reason and it wasn't the fact I had saved her life before, it was something about her that made me want to be a better person even though I knew as soon as she was gone I'd turn around and be a bastard again. I still held the record for using the most broom closet with the most variety of girls. I was blessed in the looks department, I was rich and powerful and considering I had lost so much, why couldn't I go about doing something for _me _for a change. Something selfish for once.

But I suppose I am also a bastard. A very horny bastard mind you.

I could have sworn Ginny become more beautiful with each passing day. She had long auburn red hair, chocolate brown eyes that twinkled with mischievousness and a smile that made the _boy's _week in the knees. She had lost a lot of the baby fat in her face though some remained behind, giving her an innocent look. A look she took advantage of to get out of trouble. Ginny had a flowery kind of smell, mixed in with the strawberry shampoo she used, I knew that because the top of her head reached my nose and she was just the right height that all I had to do was shift my head a bit and I could place my chin on top of her head, or kiss her temple without much difficulty. I did it often, much to her annoyance because I knew it reminded her of just how short she was.

But she was most beautiful to me when it was just us, surrounded by our own little bubble as the rest of the world carried on spinning around us. In those moments, her face would turn soft, her eyes a mixture of affection, hunger and something else I could never name, all directed at me. She would smile then, when she caught me dazed and staring, and I knew she reserved that smile just for me. I knew we were both looking at each other the same way, because it was so difficult to hide any part of myself when I was with her but I always eventually managed to cripple the emotions that would sometimes threaten to unleash themselves.

I mean I didn't exactly understand how our relationship worked. We were passionate with each other, it was intense, it was comfortable and I could open myself up to her and not feel afraid of the consequences, so why on earth had I not dated her already? That was easy, One; because she thought that as far as dating went I was the biggest pig she'd ever seen, she had told me it often enough, and two; I had been told by Ron to _never_ make a move on his sister, Ron trusted me with his life and with the love of his life but not with dating his sister. _Smart guy_, I thought, smiling sadly_, I_ _probably _would _fuck thing's up anyway. _

Before long the meeting was over. I cringed when I found Hermione's disapproving glare being sent my way, I looked around hoping she wasn't staring at me, but finding no one I smiled back, waving a white flag with a hastily conjured tissue. She rolled her eyes, a smile on her face before she sat herself in Ron's lap. I moved to sit with Ginny on the other side, it wouldn't be long before Ron started feeling Hermione up, and remembering the time he had "accidentally" brushed _my_ thigh in the most sexual way imaginable, well, no one could blame me for not sitting next to them.

Ginny looked at me, concern echoing in her chocolate brown eyes "You alright Harry?" she whispered, when I didn't respond, she took my hand in hers and squeezed gently "Nightmare's?"

I nodded slowly; aware Hermione was watching us and quickly stared out of the window, comforted by the fact Ginny kept my hand squarely in hers.

Suddenly I found nature getting the better of me and I excused myself. Walking passed the different compartments, full of laughing students each happy to be alive, brought a smile to my face as I continued down towards the toilets. The smile slipped from my face as I found myself being stopped by people wanting to say 'hello' or 'thank you', I was beginning to feel as though I was in a line to talk to the whole of England, everyone seemed to want a piece of me and more than once I had to hide when I saw an ex-girlfriend, who most likely wanted to either hook up again or tear me to shreds. Considering the last one I saw was Ginny's friend it was probably a mixture of the two. We would make out in the corner; she would be upset when I didn't spare her a second glance the next day and Ginny would be the one tearing me apart.

Even I'm not stupid enough to provoke Ginny Weasley on purpose. No one ever comes out unscratched.

I finished my business and washed my hands, drying it on the towels provided, and quickly headed back to the compartment. I smiled when I noticed that Neville and Luna had joined us. I sat down and found myself feeling unusually happy, there was no Dark Lord to come and kill me, no worrying that my family could be attacked overnight and for once there was an optimistic feeling about the unknown. I stared at Ginny's laughing face. Something told me this year would be very different to all the others.

If I had known what was to happen, maybe it would have turned out different. One minute you're walking through life and all is beautiful and the next it's just you alone with no one but your daemons, your scars and your regrets. I just didn't know how hard the journey would be before I found happiness.

I just didn't know.

* * *

We reached Hogwarts in good time and Dumbledore made his usual speeches and gave the usual warnings and Ron and myself found it hard to keep a straight face when Dumbledore mentioned that the Forbidden forest was exactly that, Forbidden, it was when he gave a pointed look in our direction that I found myself trying to look innocent. Hermione hadn't been too keen on going on _that_ particular adventure last year, so it had been just Ron and I. But that was another story.

I spotted Ginny a bit further ahead, talking in frantic hushed tones with her boyfriend Dean; she seemed to be frowning and shaking her head furiously. _Don't know what she sees in him, he can barely pick a decent football team. _I watched as his face turned sheepish before he whispered something to her, and shrugged. Ginny's face immediately turned offended and she recoiled back as though he had slapped her.

I kept my eyes on her as she tried to discreetly get up and move to sit away from him, but my head began to pound with need for sleep so it didn't surprise me when Dumbledore dismissed everyone to sleep before I had even fully grasped the concept that we had all eaten and it was already time to go. Time seemed to be flying past me today. I found myself barely making it to the common room before I laid my head on the squishy arm chair. I would go to bed soon, Hermione was nagging me enough too, but first I wanted to see Ginny. She had disappeared quickly but he had come in a few minutes ago, looking slightly fearfully at me and Ron. Ginny hadn't come back yet and more than being just insanely curious, I was mainly worried.

Ron yawned, rubbing his stomach, a satisfied look on his face "Harry I'm going up, you coming?" he asked, already half way towards the stairs, Hermione had also gotten up and was making her way to her Head girl room.

I lifted my tired body and stretched out on the bigger sofa "No, I'll wait for Ginny"

He looked at me funny for a bit but chose not to comment. He had never understood my relationship with his sister, I wasn't surprised. Mostly I didn't understand it either.

"Whatever, night Harry" he said over his shoulder before hugging Hermione and then disappearing up the stairs. Hermione gave me one fleeting knowing look before waving and heading up a different set of stairs, a faint 'Goodnight' echoed down towards me.

My head turned at the sound of the portrait opening and my eyes widened when Ginny came in, an angry blazing look on her face. I stood up wearily, my stance defensive. You would have thought my first thoughts would have been filled with concern, but Ginny looked like some kind of physical representation of what I thought 'Sex' would look like and most of the time, I just spent my time trying not to drool. Her hair looked like wild fire upon her head, her eyes would shine with a fierceness that was the complete opposite of who I knew her to be deep inside, her hands would fly to her waist and my eyes would automatically follow the curves of her body and the raise of her chest as she shot daggers at everyone in the world. There was nothing wrong with thinking your best mate was gorgeous. I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts. _Great, just great, someone had poked the sexy red dragon and now _I _was expected to calm her down, this was going to hurt._ I grimaced as she stormed past me up towards the girl's dormitory.

"Ginny. Ginny! Whoa! Wait up Gin, what's wrong?" I asked, grapping her wrist gently as she tried to escape me

She whirled around and faced me, glaring at me like I had just said the wrong thing "What is it with you men huh? Is it because you carry a penis, does that make you allowed to treat woman like shit?"

I was confused, was I suppose to answer her? I found myself becoming wide awake; I _had_ to stay alert when she worked up a storm. I found myself backing half a step as she took a step forward towards me.

"Err...?" I began, about to shrug, a hand automatically coming to run itself though my hair in nervous.

"No it doesn't! It bloody well doesn't!" she screamed, her whole manner radiating power, I was pretty sure if she was in her animagus form she would be growling at me right now. Maybe I had said the wrong thing? Or...Maybe it was her time of the month? I still have scars the last time she got this mad...

Then suddenly her eyes became sad and I became more confused "I just, is it me? I thought...maybe...I was good...but...obviously not...but I thought..." she looked at me, pleading me to understand.

How the bloody hell could I understand what she was on about? I was her best friend, not a mind reader; I was her _guy _best friend not Hermione. I knew what to do with a girl when she was naked, _that_ was very simple, _that _came naturally. But something so delicate and complicated like female emotions, well that was _way_ out of my league. In many ways I was still very ignorant.

I stepped forward cautiously, letting her know by the look on my face that I didn't have a clue what on earth she was on about. Gently still, I let my arms wrap themselves around her shoulders, before pulling her into a tight hug, letting her bury her face in my neck. We stayed that way for a long while, till her breathing evened out and she no longer clutched at my shirt so tightly in her fist. I guided her onto the sofa and sat her down in between my legs as my arms came around her waist and she rested her head in the crook of my neck. I felt a small smile slip onto her face at the familiarity of our embrace and I waited. I glanced at the clock, 1:30. I tried to fight back the yawn that tried to escape, I should be asleep and I felt every part of my body tell me I needed it. But I couldn't, Ginny had _always_ been there for me, whether I wanted her to or not, whether I was brave enough to ask for it or not, she had always been there, in many ways she had saved my life more than I had hers. I owed her everything.

She suddenly pulled back and looked up at me thoughtfully, her eyes lighting up and a fierce, determined look spared across her face. It was the same look she had when she got one of her ideas. Now I was really worried, I was starting to expect anything from her, was she going to ask me to duel her? I knew she asked when she got particularly angry. Maybe she would ask me to go in the forest with our animagus forms? But I was so tired...

"You've been with a lot of girls, right Harry?" she asked, nonchalant

"Umm...some, not a lot" I squeaked out. She raised an eyebrow and I coughed, my face heating up a little "fine, yes a lot"

She smirked "right, so basically Potter, you're a bit of a know-it all when it comes to this"

"This?" I asked, confused

"Yes, you're easy" she told me, a smile on her face

"Hey! I'm not _easy_" I told her, indignant, my hands folding across my chest. She laughed at me, running her hand through my hair as I bit back an appreciative moan. My eyes were about to close at the sensation of her running her hands playfully through my hair when she yanked them away and I jerked awake once more. Her eyes had lit up as if a firework had been set up inside her mind.

"Oh! I was wondering –" she looked at my face "Harry stop pouting and I was joking about you being easy" I smiled at her and she returned it nervously "I want you to teach me to be better..." she coughed quickly, blushing like crazy, but she jutted her chin out, holding her head high "I want you to teach me to kiss better, to touch a person better, I want you to teach me to be more comfortable...sexually" she finished, blushing even more so that her face was becoming more tomato red by the minute.

I felt my mouth drop open, my blood rush from my head as a million thoughts of Ginevra Weasley naked flashed through my mind...she was trying to kill me.

I had expected she wanted something, but I hadn't expected this

She saw my face and quickly explained "look Harry, don't get me wrong, I still think you're a pig, I would still rather date Malfoy than you, no offense, it's just Dean's the _third_ guy who...dumped me" she winched slightly "because I don't 'put out'...or not in the 'right' way, please Harry, I wouldn't ask if I didn't need it...please"

My face scrunched up in my uncertainty, I knew these things never went as smoothly as people's original plans hopped them to be and I would rather go up against another dragon than risk my friendship with her. I opened my mouth to tell her no, that I just didn't want to risk it when, sensing my hesitation, she pulled herself up, her hands in on my shoulders and placed a soft kiss on my forehead where my scar lay underneath.

"Please" she breathed into my skin.

And just like that I was powerless to say no. I was doing this for her anyway, because her happiness was worth plenty of risks. Besides, I couldn't deny the selfish part of me, that had begun to become more awake and voicing of its opinion's who wanted this _so _badly. Best friend or not, I was only human and Ginny Weasley was hot.

I took a deep breath "O.K"

"O.k.?" she repeated, as if she needed to be sure she had heard right

"O.k." I repeated back "but what about-"

"No strings" she interrupted, a huge smile on her face, her eyes shining in relief "We won't let this get awkward, it's just one friend helping another. Simple as"

But something told me it wouldn't be that simple. I think she knew it too because there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. I found myself staring unabashedly at her, she really was beautiful. She always thought her eyes were a boring brown, but I found them filed with warmth, filled with passion and love for everything she did, and my God, I couldn't deny that I had wanted to run my hands through her hair a million times over the years. She was gorgeous and way too good for me.

"O.K I'll do this but we won't tell anyone O.K. Gin? I don't particularly feel like telling Ron this"

She nodded in understanding, obviously not in a rush to tell Ron either.

"O.K..." I said once more, I didn't seem to be able to say anything other than that, my blood was creeping its way down south and I shifted awkwardly, trying to create some space between us. "We'll meet up somewhere tomorrow after lessons, I'll find somewhere we can err...'study' and we'll sort everything out then"

She smiled in relief and I felt the beginning of awkwardness come between us. Letting out a shaky breath I pulled her into another hug, wanting her to know I was _O.k. _with this and that we would work this out. I wanted her to be happy, even if that meant I would have to suffer what was likely to be a very painful year. I could already see the many, many cold showers ahead, the many wishful looks of longing I would throw at her. I breathed her in, smelling the strawberries smell of her hair. I found myself hopeful that maybe I could get her to change her mind about me; maybe she would finally see how serious and committed I could be, to her at least.

She didn't trust me with her heart, not in that way. So I guess we floated between friendship and the potential to be more, skirted back and forth between her being brave enough to give me a chance and me being strong enough to be different. I wanted to change, I needed too because this back and forth was starting to drag me down, it was starting to become harder to breathe when she got a boyfriend and I absolutely had egging Ron to join me in sending hexes to guys who so much as looked at her. I had to change, I wanted too because she was mine. I sighed, pulling her tighter to me, not missing the fact we fit perfectly together, or the soft sound of pleasure she let out when I wrapped my hands around her waist. I wanted her to be _mine_, the same way I had been _hers_ from the moment we met. Someone was punishing me for my sins, I was sure of it.

I looked at the only person in the world I ever felt at home with, as she giggled at something she said and I sent a silent prayer to my parents, wherever they were in case they were watching over me.

_Please don't let me screw this up. Please. _

* * *

**I dont know if anyone whose already read all of this is re-reading but i don't know, for some reason you guys like this story so i've come back and figured i should put a couple more touches and actually write more of the things i wanted but story will mostly the same =D**

**Oh and honestly, grammer is my weakness, i can do A grades for English and all that crap but grammer is out to kill me. Enjoy, il be updating the rest soon =D**

Monkeeeeey_ =D  
_


	2. Peaceful

**Newly Edited**

"But in the garden of simple  
where all of us are nameless  
you were never anything but beautiful to me"

'Gardan of Simple'

_Ani Difranco_

The next morning came quicker than I had ever expected it too. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the things I knew were going to take place later today but in all honestly everything seemed to be going so fast I hardly found time to suffocate with guilt and worry about later on, it was as if time itself was eager for me to get to the point where I would 'get down and dirty' with the only female member of the Weasley family.

"Hurry up Harry" Ron called to me as I struggled to digest my breakfast; _he_ of course hadn't had any problems with his. Ginny frowned at him.

"Just because you eat like a pig, doesn't mean..."

"Ginny, I don't care"

I listened half-heartily as both siblings bickered back and forth and concentrated instead on eating the bacon that was hanging from my fork. So far I hadn't felt any awkwardness with Ginny and I felt myself relax somewhat. Maybe I was developing a bad case of melodramatic fever or something. I glanced at Hermione only to notice she was sending a funny look my way, I could practically see the wheels turning in her head and it was almost as if she was struggling to stay in her seat and not jump over the table and do _something_ to me. Dear God, had Ginny told her? I knew girls talked to each other but I didn't quite know how to feel about Hermione knowing. I raised one eyebrow at her, and my fears were confirmed when she shot me a small discreet smirk.

Damn.

I finally finished my bacon and turned towards Ron, knowing full well he didn't know about my agreement with his sister, if he had I would most likely be in a coma right now.

"What 'ave we got first then? Since you seem to be in such a rush" I asked him, giving him one sharp dig to his gut

He looked at his timetable and let out a huge moan of disbelief "_Potions_..." he whispered, frowning slightly when I laughed. He had whispered it like we would have somehow been transported to the dungeons if he had spoken it any louder. Noticing everyone had finished their breakfast, I stood up to leave, making sure to shoot Ginny a smile before I left the great hall, Ron and Hermione not too far away behind.

Soon enough I heard Ron being caught up in what was obviously a heated discussion with Seamus about the Cannons "growing" chances of winning the league this year. _As if, _I found myself thinking, smirking in his direction only to stop when I found Hermione edging closer to me.

"So Harry..." she began casually, sneaking a quick glance at Ron "Ginny told me about your 'deal'-"

I rolled my eyes "Oh Goody"

She gave me an inpatient look as we turned the corner "Don't be a pain Harry, I just meant that this should have interesting results...for you more than her I think" she let out a small sigh, the way a friend does when they are about to broach a subject for what feels like the millionth time, 'I know you've been a 'Friend with benefits' type of guy since your 6th year, with practically every girl in the school, but this...is risky"

I forced myself to not roll my eyes again; she'd be likely to hex me. She must have seen the look on my face because she pressed on "Look, I'm just here to tell you something simple. You're practically my brother and I love you. Just don't mess this up, I'll be in the long line of people who will kill you if you hurt her"

I gave her a pointed look, she alone knew how I felt about Ginny, I wasn't about to mess this up. Though, being a 'friend with benefits' with my best mates little sister would always be a 'risky' business.

Trying to break the tension that now surrounded me and Hermione; I opted for giving her a cheeky grin as we headed into the potions room "So, going to kill me huh?"

"Its girl thing" she told me, before sitting on Ron's right side, I took his left.

"Quiet" Snape demanded

Double Potions, first thing in the morning, first lesson of the year. _Joy_, I thought sarcastically, doing my best to pay attention to the black board and not on the image of the red-headed Goddess that was playing games with my head.

* * *

Ginny Weasley didn't get nervous easily. Over the past few years she had faced more horrors and fought more battles too last two lifetimes and she had always come out on top. Sure she might have needed months to heal and true, some battles were still being fought mentally but she had always come out on top, and through those years she had learnt patience, acceptance, honour and how to keep her head when most other people where losing theirs.

But boy was she nervous now and she really did feel as though she was about to lose her head

Harry had slipped her a note in the afternoon, doing it with such discreetness she was sure it wasn't the first time he had done it. In his messy handwriting she read instructions for her to meet him in the room of requirement, at 7:30, and if anyone was to ask she was studding for muggle studies and Harry was helping her. She knew no one would ever guess she was actually secretly making out with him. Well, she hadn't yet but as she turned yet another corner and her watched ticked 7.25, she knew it wouldn't be long now.

The portraits stared at her on her way there, obviously wondering what she was doing walking those halls at that time. She didn't know what had possessed her the day before to go to _Harry Potter_ of all people with a suggestion like that, she was half afraid he thought she was crazy. He was the boy wizard, it wouldn't be long before he become Witch Weekly's most handsome bachelor or something like that, he was just..._so_ out of her league. She was a little worried sure, she had always felt something deeper towards him, maybe not exactly love, because he was the biggest jerk in the world, he may have never treated Ginny Weasley like crap, at least not without being extremely sorry about it afterwards, but her once sound respect for him had vanished as soon as he entered his 6th year. The year he had turned into the pig he was today. However, saying she would date Malfoy instead of him was a bit of an exaggeration; but it wasn't _all_ that far off.

Regardless, she thought, as she spotted him waiting patiently, his legs crossed as he leaned against the wall, his eyes on his map, a foot holding the door to the room of requirement open. He was Harry. And if one day he had the courage to actually have a decent relationship, commit and not back out, as many guys his age did when it become serious, she was sure she'd be the first in line to date him. A part of her hopped these lessons would change his attitude towards her because she sometimes spotted a look in his eyes that told her he would be everything she hoped him to be. He would give himself to her completely but something was holding him back.

She came to a stop near him "Hey"

He smiled brightly "Hey"

Taking her hand; he guided her into the room, casting a powerful locking charm on the door with a simple wave of his hand. There was no way in hell they wanted to be interrupted. She glanced at him, taking a note of the thoughtful look on his face and suddenly the room was changing, the lights had dimmed and there were hundreds of candles spread across the room with one large sofa sitting in the centre of it.

"Wow..." she breathed out, suddenly feeling those nervous kick in again. She quickly sat on the sofa provided but felt herself relax when she glanced at his face, a perfect mixture of both uncertainty and determination. Harry sat down, making sure to stand close to Ginny and pushed his hand through his already messy hair, seeming to find some sort of confidence in doing so.

"Right, so..." he cleared his throat, obviously stalling "How about we lay the ground rules first?"

She nodded her head "What kind of rules?"

He paused in thought for a minute, rerunning his hand through his hair. Ginny began to find herself wanting to run her hand through his hair too; she hadn't done it in _ages_.

"Alright I got one, at the start of every 'lesson'" Ginny giggled and Harry grinned, _was there another way to say it? _"Okay, so at the start of every lesson I will, outline, I suppose, everything we're about to do, this way you can easily say if you still want to do it or not"

She looked confused for a minute so he continued "What I mean is, for example, I was thinking of starting light stuff today, like kissing –" he covered her mouth with his hand when it looked like she was about to interrupted "I'm not saying your kissing needs improving, I just want to start slow first"

She nodded, not letting it show that she had been about to swat his head, _her kissing was fine, thank you very much_. At least she thought it was, but she supposed that was why she was here because her confidence had hit rock bottom and now she was questing everything. They both realised Harry's hand still covered her face, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

He laughed "Sorry Gin, forgot" Harry moved around a bit in the sofa until he become comfortable, oddly enough it reminded her of a cat when it twirled around in a spot before sitting down. She laughed inwardly; maybe it was his animagus getting the better of him.

"Okay 'Fluffy', I got one" She grinned as he immediately frowned. She only called him 'Fluffy' because she knew it aggravated him so much, but Ginny knew deep down he didn't really mind. When Harry was in his animagus form he generally acted more like a domesticated _fluffy_ house cat as opposed to the hundred-pound black panther he actually become. "No dating anyone, or whatever the hell it is you do with those girls, I don't want to end up feeling guilty that some poor girl doesn't know her 'boyfriend' is snogging Ginny Weasley behind their back"

She looked him the eye, challenging him, daring him to agree and he did, like she knew he would.

"Okay Tiger" She rolled her eyes at the stupid nickname "Hey you called me it first! So that's the agreement then; go slow, no dating. I can handle that" He looked at her again and glanced at his watch, 8:15 "since yours truly is Head boy, I can stay out as late as I want, and since I'm so clever, I've brought the Map and the clock, so _you_ can stay out late. I'm a genius."

She shoved him, laughing as he puffed his chest out in fake pride "Arrogant git"

"Why thank you Ginny!" he replied, as if she had paid him the biggest compliment on earth. Nothing fazed him; he had a fortress of self confidence and pride. _Bloody git, would be nice if he shared some of that_, Ginny thought, waiting for him to say something.

She was still laughing when she noticed the look on his face, the absolute _hunger _in his eyes as he stared at her. She felt her breath catch in her throat and her laugher quickly die out as for one moment his face was completely honest and open before something flickered in his eyes and he grinned mischievously, returning to his usual self. His voice was husky and velvety warm, the kind of voice he put on that never failed to get him into girl's pants. "I'm going to kiss you now."

Her eyes flew to his in surprise "W...What?"

He laughed at her expression "I'm joking, jeez your face. Right, seriously...are you comfortable?" he asked, she nodded but shuffled closer, her attention fully on him as both their bodies faced each other on the massive sofa.

"Right" Harry repeated and she was beginning to wonder if his vocabulary had shorten since she had asked him yesterday, he was looking at her funny "A kiss is like a...a book" he laughed, _how Hermione of him _"You can have a great kiss, or a sloppy one OR if your unlucky you might get those one's were the person seems to want to drown you in their saliva" he shivered and she laughed, he was obviously talking from personal experience "It's got its own sort of genre I suppose, maybe that's not the best example, but you'll see what I mean"

Ginny smiled, encouraging him, knowing he was still staling, probably just wanting to make sure she was prepared. She watched in awe as the candle light made his features stand out. He had grown a lot last year, practically sprouted over the summer, standing almost as tall as Ron now. You could tell he had bulging muscles underneath his clothes and every once in a while at Quidditch, when he took off his shirt to replace it with another, she was allowed a glimpse of his God-like overall good looks. His hair messier than usual, his vivid green eyes happy and bright, the scar on his forehead slowly fading and his boyish charms made Harry Potter positively ravishing. Whether it was at Quidditch practice or right now, when his eyes stared deeply into her own, he was the most handsome guy she had ever met. A part of her couldn't really blame those girls for wanting to get in bed with him; she could see what drew him to them.

"Something important in a kiss" he continued, as she tried to get back to paying attention to him in general and not just his lips "is where you place your hands" He demonstrated by placing his hands on her heated cheeks, caressing them gently and smiling as her eyes closed briefly. He obviously knew what he was doing.

She found herself relaxing, wondering where on earth he had learnt to touch her like that. _Years of practice on many different girls_, she thought, suddenly remembering who he was. She had to stay alert, she wouldn't fall into the same trap she had years ago. She was in control. He was Harry and that one name meant a million different things.

Good and bad.

* * *

I watched, confused and slightly hurt when her face suddenly turned into a determined expression but not the type a guy wants to see from the girl his about to try and please. Realising she was watching me and waiting for me to finish my sentence I continued "...So, your hands. You can do what I just did, and touch a person's face, slowly and gently and that usually leads to the same type of kiss" I began to once again touch her face gently, scooting closer until our knees touched (we where both now sitting down crossed legged) I let my hands wonder down her jaw, towards her neck slowly, my thump rubbing slow circles beneath her jaw as my eyes followed its movements before I glanced back at her own chocolate brown eyes. "It's about pleasing them, about hopefully, driving all thoughts from their brain until they either can't remember their own name, or have yet to stop moaning yours"

She looked at me funny and seemed to be forcing a grin "Personal experience Harry?"

I let my hands stay exactly where they were, feeling her cheeks heat underneath my palm "Yes, I won't lie. But I wasn't the one moaning. Now..."

She looked at me with a small thoughtful frown, but I chose to ignore that "Right, so I'm touching you gently and I'm about to kiss you the exact same way, just kissing, no tongues" I told her, winking.

She rolled her eyes but looked expectant. _Here goes everything_, I thought. I leaned my head in, tantalising slowly, almost teasing her, my eyes closing at the same time hers did and I gently brushed my lips against hers, once, twice before I finally allowed my lips to rest fully on hers. I felt the familiar whoop of movement in my stomach and I half registered the way she moved with me. After all, whatever doubts she may have about her kissing technique she was only lacking confidence. If the somewhat dizzy feeling in my head was anything to go by, she was doing pretty well. It didn't take long for our lips to move in synch, and my chest began to ache slowly with the thought, and for the millionth time I wondered, as I lightly placed one hand on her hips, why we weren't together.

Once the initial dizzy feeling had cleared from my head, though I knew some would always remain, I noticed her hands had began to tremble somewhat in her lap and I wasn't sure why, so I softly took her hands in mine and laced our fingers together in her lap, letting my other one rub soft circles in her impossibly smooth skin, never breaking the kiss.

I angled my head a bit and gave her one soft peck before extracting my lips from hers. My lips burned, my stomach knotting itself in with a warm feeling I've only ever felt with her. So here I was, exactly where I wanted to be, just under different circumstances.

It wasn't the first time we had kissed, but this was something else.

I controlled my desires, focusing on the way her eyes had softened when she looked at me, guess girls liked gentle. But suddenly she was frowning again and the waves of confusion hit me and I become lost momentarily before I found my ground and continued with the reason I was here in the first place, trying to be a nonchalant as possible.

"That was okay, but Gin, remember to use your hands" I reminded her

She nodded, beckoning me to her, her face telling me she wanted to try again. She leaned towards me and I met her half way, our lips moulding together as if they had done this a million times before. I smiled into the kiss when I felt her hands touch my hair, running through it until her hands came to a stop on the back of my head, where she played with the hair there. A little trill shot through me when I felt her smile back.

It was all going so well, even with the knot tightening itself in my stomach, even with the increasingly familiar ache in my chest, I was going to be gentle and take it slow.

She slid her hands slowly from head to my neck, spreading them out to my shoulders and back towards my jaw. I kissed her harder and sure enough there it was again, the little thrill that ran through my veins as she touched me.

I pulled back again and her arms left me "W...well done Gin that was good" I let out a long breath "you still want to keep going?" she nodded at me "sure, well, this is where I should tell you I'm about to stick my tongue into your mouth, but I'm not really sure how to tell you so don't be surprised when it happens" I told her, grinning like a madman.

She gave me a small giggle "come on Harry, don't worry, I won't bite"

And that was when my brain sprinted to the gutter, wondering what it would feel like to taste her like that, to sink my teeth into her and leave some sort of mark...I blinked twice trying to use all the years of practiced control to get the new, kinky ideas out of head. I focused my attention on her.

Again

I leaned in once more and quickly found my mouth pressed into hers, I smiled inwardly as I felt her hands around my neck and continued to kiss her. I briefly broke the kiss to touch my head to hers, smiling when I saw her nod in expectance and I found my lips on hers, my tongue darting out, licking her bottom lip before she eagerly opened.

All my plans to go slow and not be selfish died. It all happened rather suddenly after that.

The moment our tongues touched, there was the smallest of moments of pause, before my veins felt like they were on liquid fire and I _needed _to taste her. She let out a small whimper as our tongues raced and danced together, her hands gripping furiously at my hair as mine clutched at her hips. I kissed her with a longing I didn't know I possessed, our moans filling the room with a symphony of lust-filled sounds as she worked furiously to touch every inch of me she possibly could. She let out a small moan and I felt myself harden. There was something so primitive about the feeling of knowing you were causing someone you cared about to moan in that way. _She_ had moaned because of _me_.

My hands strayed to her waist as I felt her falling back on to the couch, pulling me along with her till my body was almost spread directly on top. We kept on kissing, small moans of appreciation escaping from her. Thankfully enough my hips weren't touching hers so she couldn't feel just how _happy_ I was. I could feel her heart beat furiously against my own, my chest deliciously shoved against hers, and I savoured the feeling whilst simultaneously blocking out the voice in my head that told me we'd gone too far. That it was time to stop.

I was all bent on ignoring it for as long as possible when I felt her hips involuntarily buck against my knee that I knew it was time to stop. I really didn't want her getting off the very first time we did this and definitely _not_ because of my knee, I wanted to her to orgasm with me deep inside her. And with that thought my eyes snapped open in shock and I pulled back.

I lasted a moment, long enough to see her dishevelled appearance, the absolutely sexy Smokey colour of her eyes as she looked at me before I closed the distance between us and sucked on her bottom lip gently. I kissed her slowly before pulling back.

Our breathing was deep and heavy, the thrill of kissing her still running in my veins. I pulled back till I was sitting straight again and pulled her with me.

"Much-"I coughed "much better Gin" she nodded, still breathing hard

We stared at each other then and it was obvious, that for both our sakes, that should have been enough of a 'lesson' for one day, but I couldn't bring myself to end it there. I wanted more, even if it was only a little more.

I stood up and she followed, I gently grasped her hands and placed them on my waist. "I want to show you something" I smiled "sometimes you don't even have to kiss someone to make them feel that way" _the way you always make me feel_, I thought, before shaking the thought away "sometimes, the almost-kiss is just a important. Here, I'll show you. Then your free to practice on me" I finished with a wink, delighted when she blushed.

She hadn't blushed for me in _years_ and she was doing more and more of it today

I put a stray hair behind her ear, keeping eye contact with her. I leaned in; as I had done so many times today, and kissed the corner of her mouth, then began to trailing hot wet kisses against her jaw, smirking when I felt her hands tighten against my waist. Her neck seemed to glow, like a shiny object to a toddler I felt it calling to me, and I slowly placed my mouth underneath her jaw, at the hollow of her throat, and grinned a full grin when I heard her moan in pleasure. I pulled her closer to me and felt her grab a fistful of my shirt in response. I continued to kiss her neck and relish the noises she made until I felt too greedy and stopped. I encircled my arms on her waist as she brought her arms to place around my neck. I leaned my head against hers, our eyes closed as we breathed each other in. I pulled back.

"Right, your turn" I told her, pretending it hadn't affected me at all.

She grinned at me, a cheeky look on her face. I laughed when I felt her place _my _hands on _her_ waist more firmly and I slowly rubbed circles, knowing it must have had some sort of affect on her because she paused briefly before proceeding.

She kissed me exactly where I had kissed her, my jaw, my neck. I found myself growing fond of the fiery feeling that now seemed to take permanent residence in my body. When she touched me with her hands, caressing me as I had done her, mimicking what my mouth had done perfectly I found that very same current spinning widely out of control, but it was when she licked the skin of my neck, exactly where I was sensitive most, did I let out a load moan.

Ginevra Weasley was making me moan.

I felt her grin widen and I chuckled a bit. The fire was turning into lava underneath my skin, a delicious feeling replacing my blood and letting my desires run havoc on my body. She was turning me on just by kissing me.

She kissed my neck softly once more and pulled away, looking me dead in the eyes "So, how did I do Mr. Potter?"

It took a while for me to reply "A plus" I breathed out, still fully aroused. I was so thankful there was nothing but candles lighting the room, otherwise she'd be all too aware of her affect on me.

She grinned, happy, and I grinned back.

"So, I think that's it for today" I glanced at my watch again "9:30...hmm...want to stay half an hour more?"

"And do what?"

"Well, I seem to remember you having the ability to become a Tiger at will, want to play chase?"

Her smile seemed to threaten to break from her face "Yes..." she had the cheeky look on her face again and I raised an eyebrow at her "...Not it!" she tapped me on the arm and in a split second, a beautiful white Bengal tiger with red streaks jumped on me, firmly pinning me to the ground.

I laughed as she licked my face, trying and failing to push her away.

Concentrating, I felt myself turn into a huge black panther, my greens eyes immediately finding Ginny's tiger form. I growled playfully and chased her, the room suddenly turning into an endless field.

I tackled her playfully and repaid the favour by licking her face back.

I finally left her alone and twirled around a bit, trying to find a comfortable position to lie down and waited patiently for Ginny to join me. She came to me quickly and nuzzled against me, enjoying the 'fluffiness' of my fur – which was crazy because panthers didn't exactly _have_ fluffy fur so I'm pretty sure she just said that to emasculate me a bit. I shook my head, trying to get the strange thoughts out of my animal induced mentality. I laid my head across her large powerful back, both us staring at the stars the room had now provided.

It would take me a long time, years actually, to finally be able to understand what it was I felt that day. Underneath the stars, next to the only person that had ever made me feel like I had found _home_, I felt what I would realise later to be a rarity: _peaceful_.


	3. Printed On His Skin

AN/ I kind of forgot about this -- _Disclaimer: Everything Belongs to J,K_ (obviously) I'm just playing in her sand box ;)

Thanks for the reviews!

**Newly Edited**

* * *

_What Goes Around Comes Around_

Printed On His Skin

It had been a full week since I had last 'taught' Ginny Weasley the fine art of making out. A full week of cold showers and dirty thoughts, but it was O.K. I supposed I could handle my self a little bit longer – I had made sure Ginny knew _she'd_ be the one picking the next lesson and so far she hadn't said a word. I hoped it would be soon, _I_ _needed_ it to be soon. It didn't go unnoticed by me that I was quickly becoming one very _horney_ teenager, more so than usual. But since the rules had been put in place, I couldn't go out and search for a means of _letting loose_ and I didn't exactly realise how hard it would be to turn down Hogwarts females, especially as they got more and more daring in asking me to participate in activities with them.

_Damn. _

I glanced up as the door to my room opened half way, Hermione's head half way in the room. I nodded when she asked if she could come in and she slowly sat down on the side of my bed. We stayed in silence for a bit, me; laying across the bed with my hands behind my head, staring blankly at the ceiling and her; who now lay down next to me, also staring at the ceiling.

"I take it you haven't told her then?" Hermione asked, when she couldn't handle the silence any longer

I shook my head and ignored her when she signed impatiently. We both went quite again, each lost in their own thoughts. I was grateful I had made Head boy, simply because it gave me my own room. It was the guilt that made me most thankful of the room. The guilt had begun to wear me out, I couldn't face my roommates knowing I had screamed the night before and was now the reason they had dark patches over their eyes. Ron never complained but I knew it got to him too. I turned my head and found my face rather close to Hermione's.

"So, how are you? How do you love being Head girl?" I asked her

"It's an honour Harry, I love it. Besides it's always a pleasure to 'work' with you"

I glanced at her grin and smile sheepishly "Yeah about that, I'm sorry, I don't have any excuses-"

"It's okay, I understand"

I nodded, grateful and went back to being silent. It was Friday night, meaning we could stay up late and not worry about sleeping in class tomorrow, Hermione had covered my rounds for me today and I had nothing to but begin a mental war; it was either fight to sleep or fight to stay awake. I sighed, despite the nightmare's the week had gone fine. Ginny and I hadn't gone to meet up again, I wanted to wait till next week to do so, but we had remained comfortable together, I found myself seeing more and more of her and we were hugging more than often. I actually tended to hug her at every opportunity, Ron hadn't noticed, Ginny hadn't minded and Hermione hadn't commented.

But I was so tired.

Hermione must of noticed my eyes droop because she gently elbowed me in the ribs "Hey, wake up, I want to talk"

I grumbled a bit but knew I had to stay awake "Hmm, about what?" I asked

"Are you going tell her?"

_Blunt and straight to the point, Ginny was rubbing off on her. _"Why are you so convinced I should?"

"Please Harry; I'm the one who knows how you feel about her okay. If you were able to open up to her, really open up and tell her the truth, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't think of you as such a pig" she laced her hands through mine and squeezed. "Harry, you _need_ her, stop denying it, stop fighting it and maybe try to embrace it instead. Loving someone completely and utterly _isn't_ a bad thing" she grinned "it's actually a very good thing"

I grinned back, she was obviously having a great time with Ron judging by the permanent smile she wore on her face. I squeezed her hand and leaned over to kiss her forehead slowly, smiling when she closed her eyes and gave me the small smile she reserved only for me "I'm so happy for you guys, I know he loves you terribly and wouldn't hesitate to give you the world if he could. You deserve to be happy Hermione"

She brushed her hands on my cheek, her eyes slightly moist "So do you" she whispered. Glancing at the clock, she smiled and sat up "Please just, talk to her, one of these days. Or at least let her know there is reason why you make the choices you do – now I have a meeting with my own red-head, so I must go"

She walked towards the door, opened it and giving me one last look, filled with affection and love closed it and headed downstairs. I lay in the same position for the next hour, thankful with every bone in my body that tomorrow was a Saturday. I was beginning to debate the ups and downs of taking a sleeping potion (despite the fact they got highly addictive after constant use) when there was another knock on my door, it was a specific knock.

I smile, reaching up to lie on my elbows "Come in Ginny"

She poked her head through the door, much like Hermione had done but instead she had a hand covering her eyes and it was a wise decision considering both her hand Hermione had entered my room only to find me in a _very_ compromising position with a girl, several times. I laughed lightly, "It's Ok Gin, I'm covered and there is no one here"

She peaked through her fingers "hmmm, makes a nice change" she told me, and stuck her tongue out as I flipped the middle finger. I patted the bed softly, eager for her to be near me, and fought down the unbelievable urge to pull her closer and kiss her soft, pouty lips when she did. I had similar thoughts all week, in the most ridiculous of places and personally it was getting a bit annoying. She finally sat down as I did, our backs against the headboard, my thigh touching her knee as I stretched one leg out in front of me.

"Harry..." she whispered, her breath sending a warm tingling sensation through my body.

"Hmmm...?"

She looked slightly nervous, but I smiled at her in what I hoped was a reassuring way and she continued "Can I have a lesson today?"

I blinked, she _defiantly _could have a lesson today and forgetting my exhaustion, I quickly nodded at her and grinned in embarrassment when she laughed out loud, I probably looked a little _too_ happy. I coughed, trying to clear my head.

"So, anything specific you want to 'learn' today?" I asked, discreetly looking at the top of her head to glance at the clock.

She shot me a meaningful look and I stood staring back at her, somewhat confused until she huffed in expiration and pointed towards the door "Privacy please"

I gave her an apologetic look and waved my hand lazily towards the door, sending different types of protective spells.

She smiled at me "I know we haven't really discussed what were going to do next...but" she blew out a shaky breath, lifted her hand and hesitantly ran it slowly up and down my chest. I gasped quietly; the sensations her small warm hand had on me were crazy. She smiled at me, somewhat triumphantly and leaned over to whisper in my ear "_second base_ Harry"

_Ooh_

I coughed again "Are you sure?" I asked "Gin, it means I'll be touching your...err...your..."

She laughed "You can say it Harry, my _breasts" _she didn't blush or anything, she simply continued to lay there, propped on her elbows, enjoying teasing me.

I grinned back, I was being stupid, it wasn't like I hadn't touched breasts before, but it was _Ginny_ you know, everything felt _new_ and in a lot of ways it was. It was so different to be experiencing all these emotions I had tried to push away for so long. It was cruel in a way, to like someone so completely, someone who knew the good and the bad of you and being able to kiss them, knowing in your heart they didn't feel the same or that the lingering, tingling sensation in my lips weren't what she felt on hers after we kissed. "Yeah, your _breasts, _are you sure that's Okay? We could always do something else?" Now _I_ was worried, if she took her shirt off, then I would have to take mine, it was how these lessons went. I showed her then she practiced on me. But was I ready? I knew what she would find under my shirt, she would be shocked and then undoubtedly she would ask questions. _Maybe Hermione's right, maybe I should tell her. I should show her. _

She sat up, her legs crossed facing towards me and I soon followed suit. She looked me dead in the eyes, as if she was staring right into my vary soul and seeming to find what she wanted she answered without hesitation "Yes, I trust you"

I nodded my head and breathed out slowly. The last thing I needed was to hyperventilate at the very _idea_ of touching Ginny. "Okay so let's start of _slowly_" I told her, pushing aside the thought of how I wanted to take her now and show her exactly what she had been missing "Me on you first Ginny. Try and remember what I'm doing. Enjoy the moment" I told her winking, hoping she really was as relaxed as she appeared to be. I pushed myself back on my bed, giving her more room. I slowly got on top of her, her legs opening up and spreading beneath me as I reached up to kiss her neck slowly. I could feel her breathing against my chest, mine and hers falling in a rather different rhythms; hers where long and fast but sensual all the same whereas mine were coming out in shorter breathes. It was awkward at first, she wasn't sure where to put her hands and to be honest nor was I but after a while we let it flow together naturally. She reached back up a little more till her head rested on the pillow, giving me a smile when I came with her, my body now half on hers. One arms on the other side of hers, propping me up while the other played with her hair that fell to her shoulders.

Leaning down to her face, I gave her a small smile, trying to convey to her without words that I would be gentle, that she could trust me with everything to do with her. I kissed her, running my hands through her soft hair, my other hand coming to caresses her silk soft cheek, and I smiled inwardly as she moved her hands onto my hair, trailing it down towards my neck. I ran my tongue on her bottom lip and signed happily as she opened up, our tongues dancing together passionately. I had hungered for this. We kissed for several more minutes, but finding the need to breathe becoming unbearable; I kissed her softly once more and pulled back.

A little trill went shot through me when I noticed the effect my kisses seemed to have on her. I watched, fascinated, as her eyes held a glazed over look, but I think I enjoyed watching the smile she always had on her face after we kissed more. I blew softly in her face and the grin widened as her breathing become heavier. I delicately kissed her closed eyes and stared into them when she finally opened them up to look at me, she was ready, and she wanted this.

I lowered my hand slowly towards her stomach, smiling once more as I felt rather than saw her smile widen in pleasure as I traced soft loving circles under her shirt, relinquishing the feel of her creamy skin. After a bit I hiked her shirt up over her head, laughing softly when it got stuck in between her face, she blushed, embarrassed, unable to see me for her shirt was covering her eyes and I leaned down to her once more and kissed her, reassuring her again. I finally lifted the shirt completely of her head, unable to stop the teasing glint in my eye from showing as I looked her square in the face. She bit her lip, her blush turning more profound and I found myself moaning before I crushed my mouth to hers. I let my hands wonder down her sides, skimming down the sides of her breast slowly, before I sat back and stared at her unblinking. We were still in the same position and it allowed me to see her fully. She had on a lacy red bra and I felt my mouth droop open of its own accord. You see I had seen it all, the panties, the g-strings, the best bra's Victoria's secret had to offer but nothing compared to Ginny. See, I think it is because I'm already so much attracted to her that her breast aren't just breast, there something to be cherished and pleasured just as much as any other part of her. I grinned, a huge, jaw breaking grin when I realised I had the answer to the question I had wondered about for years.

_She blushed _all_ over..._

She looked at me, uncertain, almost ashamed, like she didn't realise how _exquisite_ she was, how lucky I was to see so much of her and enjoy it for the beauty it was. "You're beautiful Gin. You really are" I whispered to her, letting the words sink in, hoping that my face showed sincerity and absolute truth because I don't think I had ever spoken more truer words. I glanced at her face again, smiling once more, for that seemed to be all I was doing now she was here. She still looked slightly uncertain.

_Those guys she dated really messed her up. When all this is said and done, Dean and I will defiantly have a little "_talk"

I dropped a kiss on her neck, on her shoulder, all the while running my hands gently up and down her back before they finally came around and found her breasts. She moaned, deep in her throat as my hands gently rubbed against her. She continued to moan, her eyes closed and her head thrown back, as she bit on her bottom lip. I hadn't ever heard her moan like that before. I rained small wet kisses up from her jaw down till I reached the top of her breast, planting one small kiss exactly where her heart rested.

"Gin" I breathed out, kissing her quickly again and trailing my hand down from her breast, from her Quidditch worked stomach till they where resting relatively safely on her waist. "I...there's something...you..." I huffed in frustration.

She smiled lightly at me, still topless, still very much gorgeous. Still breathing rather hard as she tried to hide the disappointment of stopping from her face "What's wrong Mr. J?" she asked, running her hand through my hair in a soothing motion and using the ridiculous nickname I was beginning to grow found of "You aren't going to let me have a turn?" she questioned, playfully pouting.

I lifted my head from her stomach and looked up at her, holding back the moan that threatened to be released. "No, it's not that" I told her smiling "You can feel me up _anytime_ you want _Tiger_, it's just, well...you'll see" I nodded my head at her and sat up, one leg draped over hers, as one of her knees lay underneath my 'jewels'; I had to make sure not to upset her at all otherwise she'd simply lift her knee up and I'd be in big trouble. She noticed the position we where in and grinned. I began taking my shirt off.

Now she moaned in disappointment when she realised I still had a black undershirt on, I laughed teasingly "Patience is a virtue Ginevra"

She growled at me, much like her tiger form would and I couldn't stop the grin from spreading "I've been waiting a long time to do this to you Harry, I'll admit it. Stop killing my fun!" I laughed at her then.

"After you then Gin" I told her, lifting my hands up, signalling her to lift my shirt all on her own, all the while continuing to stare into her chocolate brown eyes. She lifted my black shirt, slowly, like someone who had spent their whole life waiting to open a wrapped present, after years of wondering what was inside, now when they could finally open it, the expectation was proving too much. I put my hands lightly on top of her shaking ones and together we lifted the shirt over my head.

I waited until she spotted it but I knew I wouldn't have to wait long.

"You got a bloody tattoo!" she shrieked, _thank God for silencing charms, or else everyone would be awake by now. _The clock struck 9:30.

"Yeah, I can explain that"

She stared at my chest, her face a picture of mixed emotions; desire, shock and disbelief. I glanced down at my chest too. There sitting on the right side of my torso, on my ribs, lay a beautifully tattooed Jesus cross, with the elegant letters spelling out 'Cc' drawn in to the middle of the cross. "I suppose I should explain" _Hermione had told me to tell her, but I can't do it, not now._

"You better Potter"

I grimaced, I think she was more curious than angry but you could never tell with her, _famous Weasley temper and all. _

I let out a shaky breathe "I had this done in a muggle shop the summer I turned 16, didn't exactly need parental permission if I handed over the right amount of money" I told her and I was sure she remembered the day I had slipped out of Grimmauld place, away from Sirius' and Remus' watchful eyes. I had come home to half the Order in extreme anger and worry, but I hadn't cared.

"I remember, you had been so _sad_ that whole summer, and you came home that day and something was different, something had changed"

I nodded at her "See, I can't tell you Ginny _what _happened" I shook my head when she was about to protest "I _will_, just not now. Please understand Gin, it _hurts_, Okay"

I was sure she saw the pain in my eyes, heard it in my voice. I couldn't hide it and I didn't want to, I could afford to show some weakness in front of Ginny, and I supposed she deserved to see the whole truth, her more than anyone.

She signed, running her hand through my hair again till I closed my eyes "What's the 'C's' stand for?"

"It's after a muggle girl I knew" I nodded my head absentmindedly "I knew her really well"

I couldn't understand the different emotions running through Ginny's face as she continued to run her hand through my hair, but I could have sworn I saw jealously, furious green jealously. But I doubted it; Ginny didn't fancy me or anything so why on earth would she be jealous? I smiled sadly "Her name was Cassie. Cassie Copperfield. I promise you one of these days I will explain to you the story, then maybe you'll understand why I am the way I am" I tried to give her a smile but it probably came out something similar to a grimace.

She stayed silent for a bit, as if pondering whether to believe me or not "I'll wait Harry. I'll always wait"

I smiled brightly, my old mood returning. "So...you want to pick up where we left off?" I asked hopefully.

She waited for a bit, glanced at my chest again and seemed to realise there was more there than just a tattoo "Yeah" she told me, glancing at my face again, "It _is_ my turn after all- just one question Harry"

"...Yeah?"

"How come it hasn't come out that the great Harry Potter has a tattoo? Considering all the girls you've slept with, I would have thought at least _one_ of them was bound to be smart enough to notice it"

"I'd conceal it. You are the only one, besides me of course, who's seen it"

She blushed but held her head high "Thank you. It means a lot"

I winked "You're welcome. Now..." I lay back fully on the bed my head hitting the soft Gryffindor red pillows "Feel free to do as you please" I told her, licking my lips.

She grinned down at me and crawled on all fours until she was hovering on top of me "Oh... I _will_"

It started off well enough; I didn't understand how she had lost her confidence, because she was now displaying it all in full. She kissed me up from my stomach, seeming to love the fact my well muscled torso tightened where she kissed. My breathing was accelerating and something was beginning to become _very _uncomfortable in my designer jeans. She trailed her small warm hand up and down my smooth stomach as she kissed me, my hands tightening on the back of my head as I tried to remember it was _her _turn. Suddenly I couldn't take it anymore, there was too much tension in my muscles, my brain was screaming at me to flip her, and I did just that. She landed on her back, me above her, holding myself with my elbows as she smiled cheekily up at me.

"And may I ask what you are doing Harry?" she asked, somewhat breathlessly as I pressed urgent kisses on her neck, I smiled into her skin as she moaned, loud and clear when I sucked on her sensitive spot

"You don't understand what you were doing to me Weasley"

She grinned, glancing towards the bulge underneath my zipper and lifted her hips "I _think_ I do Potter"

I groaned, embarrassed, and I softly laid my body down with hers, feeling both the heat and the electrical current running through my body as my bare skin touched hers. She opened her legs and I laid myself in between her. She defiantly could feel how happy I was _now_.

She laughed and kissed me softly "it's nothing to be embarrassed about Harry; it's actually nice to know I have that effect on you. Great ego boost"

I looked into her eyes, both our breathing heavy but unfortunately the exhaustion was starting to creep up on me and I no longer felt the energy to fight it off

She touched my face tenderly "You haven't been sleeping have you Harry?"

I forced myself to shake my head; I still owed her truth considering I had been hiding the tattoo. She signed too.

"I'll sleep here with you today" she declared

"What?"

"Look, I know the complications but we won't get caught. Harry come on! we've been doing this for years. When you have a nightmare I come and sleep with you and when I have one you come to me. You need me here Harry" she finished softly

I smiled "Yeah I do"

So that was that, it was decided. Tomorrow they'd wake up, go to breakfast and then head of to Quidditch together, hopefully no questions asked.

I thanked her, kissed her softly and went off to grab her some clothes. She came out of the bathroom a little while later, I had stripped to my boxers and was already lying in bed, waiting for Ginny. I smiled a huge, bright smile, when she approached, looking both sexy and adorable in a spare shirt of mine that was too big for her, but managed to cover her cute bottom, showing enough of her buttery soft legs to make me drool.

I pulled the cover and patted the bed, wanting her to join in with me. She climbed in after shooting me a funny look, probably because I was in my boxers but considering what we had been doing and what we would be doing, the intimacy was something we both needed to adjust to. I think she realised this as well because she hopped into bed soon after.

I quickly ended up spooning her, kissing her neck tenderly and enjoying the way she intertwined her legs with mine. She moaned softly when I caressed her stomach under her shirt. "Thanks Gin. You really are the best friend I could have. I love you"

She turned, so she was facing me, her eyes moist "What about Ron?"

I smiled at her bravely; kissing her nose "He is and will always be my best mate. But you're different. You special to me Gin"

She kissed my lips softly "I love you too, Harry" she whispered to me before I waved my hands and the lights turned off, her head now nestled under my chin. So she wasn't _in_ love with me, but for now, it was enough.

I slept peacefully for the first time in months.

~*~*~

I woke up the following morning to a knock on my door.

_Hermione_

They all had knocks, Ginny always knocked four quick taps followed by one slower one, she liked being different from the others. Hermione always knocked three times, so softly it always sounded like two and Ron, well... Ron just barged in. Good old Ron.

"One minute" I called out, I snaked my arms away from the beautiful redhead in my bed and tried not to smile when she groaned, almost as if she knew I wasn't there anymore. I rubbed sleep from my eyes and quickly pulled on a pair of black pyjama pants I should have worn yesterday and went over to the door. Opening it I beckoned Hermione in. I didn't need to worry about anyone peaking in and seeing Ginny, the Head boy and girl had a common room to themselves. It didn't take long for Hermione to spot Ginny.

She raised her eyebrows

"She's just sleeping here! It's innocent I swear, I just...you know she helps with the nightmares" I told her

She nodded, her look softening "I guess you told her about the tattoo then?"

I shook my head "she knows something is up and I told her a bit, but not too much, it didn't feel like the right time"

She finally seemed to notice that I was shirtless "so is that it?" she asked, taking a step closer, pointing towards the tattoo. I nodded, feeling relaxed about Hermione seeing it. Rather absentmindedly she ran her hands through it, till she realised what she did and an uncharacteristic blush came over her face "Sorry"

I laughed and nodded, pulling her closer and hugging her to me "she helps with the nightmares" I repeated, changing the unspoken subject she was about to bring up.

She nodded in understanding, smiling over at Ginny who had hugged my pillow to herself "I guess I'll tell anyone who asks she was camping in my room right?"

"Please Hermione, oh you're a star" I pulled her tighter to me, kissing her forehead

"Look, how about you wake her up? I got her Quidditch clothes in my room and she can come get them, change and then we'll all head down to breakfast? Ron's already there" She added, a smile gracing her face as she thought fondly of her boyfriend.

I nodded, thankful and closed the door behind her. I couldn't wake Ginny up just yet; she looked too peaceful and comfortable in my bed to be able to do something that mean. So instead I went over and sat by my desk, reading the letter Sirius had sent me.

_Dear Harry, _

_How are you kiddo? How has school been? I hope Snivellus isn't up to his old tricks or me and your uncle Mooney will pop over and pay him a visit. Well, maybe just me, Mooney is currently _very_ busy at the moment Harry. You know him and Tonks' wedding is at Christmas right? Mooney is really stressing out, poor bloke, Tonks is taking it in her stride though. You should have seen his face when Molly started on about wedding arrangements and all that. I ran out of there so fast you wouldn't believe it! Left Mooney all alone, he hasn't forgiven me yet._

_So, have you been behaving? No? Good. _

_Harry, you remember that talk we had over the summer? 7th year, are you going to tell her? It's time to let go Harry, trust her, Ginny deserves your trust. You promised me to commit to a relationship in your 7th year, its time Harry. Let go, be happy. Don't be afraid to not be in control or not know what is going to happen. It's ok._

_I hope to see her at the wedding – as your date. But hey, no pressure..._

_I'll be at your next Quidditch match, come on Gryffindor's! _

_Mooney would say hello, but his up to his neck in wedding stuff, right now I heard them discussing flowers – how very interesting._

Your honorary uncle and loving Godfather,

_Padfoot_

I smiled once I finished reading. Sirius had only started talking about commitment because _he_ finally managed to settle down. He had found love in a muggleborn witch called Lexy McCall (or Lexy Black now), and though their relationship had been rocky at first, it was obvious to the whole world how deeply Sirius loved her. He had committed! Now, three years later they were expecting their first child, a baby girl and I had been picked to be her Godfather, with Ginny as her Godmother.

Ginny and Sirius had formed a strong friendship in my 5th year, when my depression hit rock bottom and no one was able to dig me out of my own hole, many hadn't known why I was like that so their efforts to help me were futile and many times I ended up shouting and hexing people, even Sirius who knew why I was acting the way I was found it difficult to deal with my moods at times, but not Ginny, she shouted back, she held me when I needed it, she fought with me when my mood turned dark and when I just wanted silence she would simply sit with me, sometimes reading a book or doing work. I didn't know at the time how much I had come to need her.

I put the letter down and sat next to Ginny as she began to wake

"Morning sleepy head" I whispered

"Mmmm...Morning sexy" she winked, reaching up to mess up my hair more than it's already bed ridden state.

"shove off you" I told her, jumping on her and pinning her down, smiling as she squeal playfully "Now, Hermione has got your Quidditch clothes in her room, if anyone asks you slept in hers and Ron is waiting for us in the Great hall so we've got to go "I kissed her softly in the cheek, no kissing on the lips with morning breath "Thank you for staying with me yesterday, guess you scared the boogieman away Gin"

She looked at me confused "Huh?"

I laughed "muggle thing"

She smiled "You know Harry...you're not getting this shirt back" she told me, bring a fist full of it to smell.

"No?"

"No_p_e" she told me, making sure to make a 'pop' noise with her 'P' "I like it too much"

I nuzzled her neck. It was a favourite shirt of mine, it was rather simple but I loved it. In bright crimson letters on the front the words 'It's Magic' laid printed on the shirt.

"Fine, have the shirt but you owe me now"

"You can have my tong"

"What!"

She laughed "I'm joking you moron" she stuck her tongue out and pushed me off, so that I was beneath her, she softly kissed my neck, before getting up and heading to Hermione's room to change. I shook my head, heading to towards the bathroom, fully intending on having a long shower.

A long _cold _shower

* * *

People before we get in to a debate about Harry and Religion can I make it clear now that there _is_ a reason why it's a cross - all shall be revealed.

:)

_HyperActiveMonkey_


	4. Prolonged Realisations

AN:** - I wont be writing about Harry in classes, i can't stand doing it and unless i have to i wont be (unless its to bait snape- that's always fun)**

**Newly Edited**

* * *

_What Goes Around, Comes Around_

Prolonged Realisations

The weeks had flew on by, uneventful (which was very unlike Hogwarts) and fast. It was now late October and I was sure November would approach quickly enough followed shortly by December and then I had to be escorting Ginny to Uncle Mooney's wedding. Or I would be if she said yes when I asked her but thankfully Mooney had actually made it easier on me, since I was his best man (Sirius agreed I should be the best man since he would most likely be tempted to prank Uncle Remus) and Ginny was Tonks' maid of honour, well it made everything easier between me and Ginny, since we'd have to dance together and all that, so I suppose if I become too nervous to ask her to be my date, we would at least be close enough at the wedding for me to be happy.

However, it had been a month since I had agreed to tell Ginny about the tattoo and even though she didn't ask about it, choosing instead to let me tell her when I was ready, I could tell she was insanely curious but I was grateful she waited none the less. My nightmares had all but gone, Ginny spent most nights in my room since that other night, cuddling and sleeping with me, holding the nightmares at bay. I grinned as I walked past the statue of a crazy knight who was challenging me to a fight. Ginny had told her concerned (and slightly nosey) friends she was spending a few days a week in Hermione's room to study together and keep Hermione company, everyone knew both girls were best friends and would miss each other dearly when Hermione finished school later this year so everyone expected the lie quickly without asking questions, even Ron. I was sure in years to come Hermione and Ginny would still be the best of friends along with Tonks and Lexy, probably regularly meeting for girl talks and whatever the hell girls did together when their guys were absent.

I passed another corridor, not really mindful of where I was going. Trying to remember every brick, every painting that scattered all around the corridor as I walked. I had all but one year left and not even that if I included the holidays. Everything had happened so fast. If I thought about it now I could picture Ron and I running towards the girl's bathroom in aid of Hermione, how the walls looked then, not having changed whatsoever. I was so deep into my thoughts that I didn't notice the person sneaking up behind me or when I was suddenly yanked into a nearby broom closet by one very beautiful Asian girl.

"...Cho?" I asked, squinting into the darkness

"Hey Harry"

I straightened up "What the hell are you doing here?" I questioned

She crept towards, much like a woman lost in desire and I backed away up against the wall. _I wasn't allowed to have this, the rules! Shit...I need to get out of here. _You see, I could handle Dark lords, that was easy enough, I could even survive Hermione's lectures on Elf rights of 1972; _barely,_ but I could. However, turning down a girl I had thoroughly enjoyed pleasing and having sex with in the past; that I wasn't sure about.

_Think about Ginny. _

Even that was hard. I could already feel my body becoming ready for sex with her; I already found my mind in the gutter, wondering if she still liked being touched in the same places and if she still made the same noises when I put my tongue in her..._Ginny! _

_Must think of Ginny – she would be crushed, we made a deal. I had made a promise. _

"Well" Cho said, oblivious to the battle that had been playing in my mind "I came here looking for a post, some work experience you know. But unfortunately there was nothing available that suits with me...However, now that I'm here" she began unbuttoning my shirt "How about me and you _reminisce?_"

I frowned "I can't Cho" I told her, pushing her hands away from mine and stepping out of the closet before she roped me back against the wall. _But I so want too..._

She stepped out with me, her face looking genuinely confused, she began to look herself up and down and seeming to find nothing wrong with herself, shook her head and turned to me "What's the matter, have you got a girlfriend or something? That's never stopped you before" she began to approach me again, her hands coming to place themselves on my chest. I backed away a bit.

I winched, _true_. My sense's told me someone, somewhere was watching but scanning the area quickly I found no one "No, but well, I've _changed_ Cho, I don't want this no more, I want more than just sex"

She looked at me like I had grown another head and snorted "What!" she exclaimed, probably finally realising I had turned her down "People like us don't change Harry, we _pretend_ too, but we never really do,_ you'll_ always cheat, _you_ can't commit to anything other than Quidditch and it'd save us both time if you stopped pretending and joined me in the closet!"

_Wow, that's different, never knew she could be this bossy. Would have made sex so much fun a year ago..._ I shook my head, it wasn't going to happen "I'm sorry Cho, I want to be better. This is me growing up and if it means I have to turn you down...even if you look sexier than ever before...and... Are turning me on a little _too _much..." I shook my head more furiously "No, I want to be better. This isn't going to happen Cho. I'm...I'm sorry"

Her face turned extremely sad for a minute, like someone who knew something would occur and had hopped they'd be part of it "Who's the girl Harry?"

"Huh?"

She laughed softly but it was obvious to me she didn't find it funny "I've always wondered if this would happen to you, if some girl would sweep in and steal your heart. And she obviously has...but she isn't me" she signed and took a step closer to me, shaking her head when I backed away again "Well, it's been fun I suppose Harry, if you ever change your mind, come find me" she turned to walk away, glancing back at me once more and ignoring the look of relief on my face and said "I'll be waiting"

I stared on after her, wondering if she what on earth she was on about.

~*~*~

I yawned "Yeah whatever, I'll kick your ass tomorrow, 'night Ron" I called out to him as I trudged my way out of the Gryffindor common room, towards the door that appeared before me. Stepping inside I found Ginny and Hermione lounging in the chair by the fire

"Hey ladies"

For some reason they immediately stopped talking when I walked in but, being too tired to care, I just sat down on the other couch, which happened to be the one Ginny was on and laid out on it, grinning cheekily when it meant she fell on the floor, landing with a small 'thump' on her behind. 'Oops' I mouthed at her.

She glared up at me "Harry!"

I winked in response, noticing Hermione was trying to hold back a laugh. I dug my head into the pillow and let out an 'oopft' when Ginny jumped on my back, lying out on top of me, her back to mine. I turned my head slightly and glared up at her, not able to hold back my smile when she mouthed 'Oops' back to me, an innocent expression on her face.

"Stupid egotistic tigers" I muttered, closing my eyes, allowing the comfortable weight that was Ginny to sooth me to sleep.

It was still pretty early. Early enough that students could walk about the halls as they wanted but I was tired, for once not from the nightmares but from the Quidditch training Ron had us made us go through two days ago. I was still sore.

_Psychopathic Quidditch captains, what can you do._

I drifted in and out of sleep, at one point I was awake enough to know Hermione had let Ron into the common room and after lots of giggling from her side, which it seemed only Ron could make her do, they headed up to her room a little bit later to join in certain activities I'd rather not know about.

_Guess I'm not the only horney teenager_

Ginny came back to pick up a book or something before heading out again, and a little while later after that Ron and Hermione had come back downstairs only to head out again, apparently someone was having a fight in the Gryffindor common room and Hermione immediately turned into 'Head girl mode' and had rushed to go sort it out. I had dozed back to sleep after that, but was woken up when I felt something wet lick my face. Yes, something was licking my face.

I groaned and peaked one eye open "Gin?" I asked, rubbing my eyes (I had brought an expensive potion the summer before which worked in similar ways to muggle's laser eye treatment) I yawned and sat up, smiling sleepily at the white tiger, who put her head on my lap "hmm...Ginny, why you in your animagus?" She looked like she was in a rather playful mood. I grinned when she put her paws in front of her eyes like a cute puppy and I patted the coach softly; laughing out loud when it groaned under the tiger's weight "I think you need to lose some pounds Ginevra"

She growled and I only laughed harder. I stroked her beautiful fur, and scratched behind her ears, laughing again when she purred loudly. Finally I rested my hands on the sides of her face and tapped her nose playfully, wanting her to open her eyes. "Gin?"

She changed into the beautiful redhead I knew she was, and I waited patiently for her to talk "I've just had a really _weird_ conversation...I don't think weird even covers it" she told me, her eyes confused.

I pulled her onto my lap, my hands around her waist, her face in my neck. I kissed her head and listened as she explained to me what had happened.

_0o0o0o0o_** Flashback **

_Ginny had just spent a whole hour putting up with Snape and his stupid comments and all she wanted to do was head of to the Gryffindor common room and relax by the comfy chair. She was so in her own little world she failed to notice the piece of parchment that fell from the book she was holding, stopping and turning only when she heard someone call her name._

"_Weasley, hey, Weasley...!" someone shouted _

_She squinted her eyes and fought the urge to rube them in disbelief, _of all the people it had to be him. _She quickly caught up with the familiar yet unpleasant face._

"_What Malfoy?" she snapped at him_

_He turned to her and smirked, but it wasn't his usual cocky arrogant smirk, it was different, if it was at all possible, it was warmer. "Just thought you'd want this back Weasley, but I guess not..." _

_In his hand he held the work she had been working on the whole week, it was the first page to her long potions assignment and she defiantly needed it back, she reached out to snatch it only for him to pull his hand back, away from her reach "No, first you can thank me. It's the _normal_ thing to do"_

_Ginny glared at him and said in the most sarcastic voice she could muster "Thank you" _

_He smiled at her. Actually smiled and handed the parchment back to her, giving her one saucy wink before turning around and heading in the opposite direction he came from, making her wonder if he had followed her. _

_She stood staring at the spot he had departed from. _What? _He hadn't tried to hex her, hadn't made fun of her mates, cussed her or even laughed at her lack of money. She pondered on the encounter for a bit longer and finding herself beginning to gather a headache, she turned and continued walking the way she came from._

_What the bloody hell was that?_

_0o0o0o0o_

"What!" I shouted

"I know! And that was yesterday, I didn't say anything because there was no point, but he did the same thing today! He was acting friendly and even tired to start bloody small talk or something!"

"What!" I repeated

She laughed at me then, but I didn't find anything amusing at the moment. The dirty bastard was likely up to something. I'd seen the way he was looking at her, his eyes clouding over with lust and desire, and more than once I had shot him a stray hex, being unable to hold my temper back any longer.

_The dirty bastard_

And then the thought came to me. What if Ginny got to liking him? I mean, even thinking about it made me want to vomit but what if? Didn't girls like that type of guys? The bad boy, the player...? Didn't some girls love the challenge of changing him? Making him committed and good? _Holy shit_, hadn't she said she would rather date _Malfoy_ than _me_? Was she joking?

I think I was beginning to hyperventilate.

She must have noticed my distress because she quickly pulled me to her and hugged me closer. I honestly didn't feel at all comforted. What did this mean? Could _Malfoy_ fancy her or something? How utterly revolting the thought was. Ginny and Malfoy, they went together about as well as your average lion and hyena. It was against nature to bring them together! But she and I could be _so_ good, _we_ fit, like two pieces of a broken puzzle, having endured so much already but despite that we would always find each other and we would always fit perfectly.

Did she not see it? Because I saw it, I saw it clearly.

She put her hand on my chin and lifted it till I had no other options than to look her dead in the eyes "Harry, relax, if he tries anything I'll change and eat him" she pulled a face "I bet he tastes bad though" she added jokily, but failing in her attempt to make me smile, she huffed and claimed out of my lap calling behind her shoulder on her way to my room "I want a lesson Harry!"

For the first time, I didn't jump up in eagerness. I didn't find my body heating up in anticipation of touching and pleasuring the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I didn't feel any of that, instead the sick sense of despair and the ugly jealously I felt where just becoming more profound with each second. Nevertheless, I felt my foot step forward behind her automatically. My brain was telling me to run, to not allow myself to enjoy everything to do with Ginny, only to have to give her back soon after, but it was my heart that seemed to be controlling my legs not my brain. My heart was aching for her, for her to be mine, for her to moan just for me but most of all for her to love me and no one else because I finally understood.

I was in love with Ginny

I shook my head and stomped furiously up the stairs, knowing that in the storm of anger I was feeling (despite the wondrous feeling of confessing my true feelings to myself) I was going to upset Ginny, because I couldn't stop the words from escaping my mouth when I reached my door and yanked it open, pausing momentarily to admire Ginny in my bed before shouting at her.

"Do you like him?" I demanded

"What?"

"You heard me Ginny, do you fancy _Malfoy_" I spat out his name in disgust, slamming the door behind me and approaching her,

She glared at me, anger lighting up in her eyes, her face tense "Is this what this is about?" she looked at me like I was crazy "Are you jealous or something Potter?"

The words flew from my mouth before I had time to stop them "Yes!"

She suddenly relaxed, a mysterious smile gracing her face "Why are you jealous Harry?" she asked me, almost as if she knew the answer I was able to give and was trying to encourage me to answer her correctly. I didn't care, I was fuming.

"Because!" I shouted at her, angry she was so calm "Because I can't bear to see you with anyone, let alone _him_!" I started pacing in front of her. She never moved a muscle, she still wore the same small smile "I don't want to think about you liking him and...not me" I sighed. If I was an older wiser male, I would have said something romantic and breath-taking, I would have said something so heart-wrenchingly beautiful she had no choice but to fall into my open arms and love me as I loved her, but, I am still Harry Potter, who's spent years being Ron Weasley's best mate, so instead I said "I don't want you to go out with anyone other than me, because I fancy the bloody pants off of you okay?" I sat on my bed, my elbows on my thighs and my hands in my face. I was waiting for the sound of her leaving my room, waiting for her to shout at me that she couldn't possibly like something as repulsive as me.

But she didn't leave; I heard no door open and slam shut. Instead I found two small hands prying my own hands away from my face and I found myself staring into her pools of chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm glad you feel that way" she whispered to me "Because I feel that same way too. I like you very much Harry. Very, _very _much"

It took a minute or two for the words to sink in but when they did I broke out into a wild smile, but all my hopes of starting a relationship diminished with what she said next "But Harry, I _can't_ go out with you. I'm sorry, I _want_ too, but I can't" she let her fingers slide through my hair "I want to trust you, completely, utterly because I know that with you it'll be serious and I want to be one hundred per cent sure I want this with you, because we've been friends too long for us to fall out if it doesn't work out"

I smiled sadly but I understood. She was basically telling me she didn't trust me, but I was okay with that, I really was, it gave me some hope that she would stick around to see me change and commit. I had turned down Cho; I could turn down everyone else. I stood up; still exceptionally happy she liked me. She liked me!

I was about to speak when she put a hand over my mouth, smiling at me brightly "I did however, see what happened with you and Cho today" she looked a bit sheepish "I admit it, I had gone looking for you and I saw you with Cho, I hid. I know you looked but you didn't see me so..."

I grinned, so she _had_ seen my success story, it was better than nothing. I leaned over "I get it Gin, I'll prove myself to you, you'll see" she nodded, a hint of hope lighting her eyes. I took the moment to stare at her as she was doing to me. I felt my head lean slowly towards her till we were touching, my breathing mixed with hers as we closed our eyes "So...do you still want your lesson?"

She grinned in anticipation "Defiantly"

Ginny squealed in delight when I picked her up and threw her on the bed in a very un-gentleman like way. I landed on top of her, both of us out of breath from laughing. It felt like something from the cheesy movies you see in the cinema with your girlfriend on a first date, time felt as if it was slowing down to allow me to gaze into her eyes and enjoy every single moment of leaning down and kissing her soft lips. She responded immediately, kissing me with all the passion of an experienced woman and moaning as I started raining kisses from her jaw to her neck. We continued kissing, everything feeling so new yet so familiar as both our breaths become laboured and our passion increased.

After a while she pushed me back, me rolling to her side. I glanced at her in confusion but then realised she was beginning to take her shirt off and my breathing, if it was at all possible, was getting heaver. She lifted the white cotton shirt over her head, leaving her only in a blue lacy bra, I felt my mouth go dry, the bra was pushing her breasts up and it made them look all that much more amazing. I was startled out of my thoughts when I felt her push my own shirt over my head and in record speed it fell it on the floor, joining her own shirt.

"Gin...what...?" I asked, dazed

"Sssh" she pressed one finger to my lips "I _want _this Harry" I stared into her eyes once more and she stared straight back.

In that moment something changed between us

It was as if both of us finally registered we liked each other. As if we realised in that moment that whatever we had, romantic or otherwise was special and unique, something that lasted longer than a brief fling till the end of our Hogwarts days. It went both further and deeper than that. In that moment I felt the old me begging to push forward, screaming at me to run away, this was too deep, I couldn't do this to myself again and it would be wrong to do it to Ginny too. But something else, my heart most likely, told me that something that felt so good couldn't possibly be so wrong. That maybe, after all these years of hate, war and pain, I'd finally found something to live for.

I realised in that moment how deep my love for her was, how much it had changed me. The old me _would_ be running away, to save her and protect her. Having Voldemort on my case for so long meant that giving up something I liked so much become almost become natural, I would do it without hesitation. But now I found myself feeling selfish, _good_ selfish. I wanted to stay with her, because the thought of leaving her left a whole in my chest and an ache in my heart.

I rolled her over again and smiled tenderly down at her "I'm glad Gin" I told her echoing her own words. I hooked one hand behind her back, moving it until it found exactly what it was looking for, my other hand drawing soft circles on her cheek "You sure?" I questioned, ignoring the fact she realised _just_ how experienced I was at this. Not every guy could open the clasp of a woman's bra with one hand while simultaneously caressed said woman's cheek, especially not at my age. She nodded at me again when I opened it and I tugged gently on her bra until it fell from her shoulders and slipped past her arms, falling on my bed soundlessly.

I too, like the bra, was soundless.

She was _gorgeous_. Now with the light in the room shinning behind her, I could see all of her. The way her jeans hugged her, her breast which were soft to my touch and perfect in their own way. I couldn't understand how Dean or the others had turned her down, did they not see how amazing she was, how she was the single biggest beauty in the world.. _It can't just be me_.

"You're Beautiful Gin" I whispered leaning into her ear and nibbling on it. She relaxed onto the bed, now grinning mischievously, allowing me to have my way with her. I smiled in to her skin, pretty sure she could feel it. I pressed wet hot kisses all the way from her ear to her collarbone, going further and further downwards, enjoying the moans she gave out, knowing they were meant for me, _because _of me; that heightened the moment for me all that much more. I finally found her breast, and cupping her with one hand, I massaged gently, allowing her to feel that sort of pleasure before I brought her to a different level of pleasure altogether. I was sure Ginny hadn't allowed anyone to be this intimate with her, she wasn't one to share her body with just anyone and I knew that. It made me feel special and a little bit _too_ proud.

I finally allowed my mouth over her erect nipple and she moaned in pleasure, deep in her throat, reaching down a hand to grip my hair, the other hand tightening itself on the sheets. I let my eyes wonder to her face; thrown back on the bed, her hips arching up, eyes close, biting her lips. I grinned happily into her breast, swirling my tongue on her wet nipple till _I_ become unbearably hard just knowing and listening to how much she was enjoying it.

This wasn't a lesson anymore. This was us now simply wanting to enjoy each other physically. I laughed inwardly; she looked like she was defiantly enjoying herself.

I did the same with her other breast, licking it and pleasuring it while she moaned my name. Finally, sensing she needed realise I lifted myself so me and her where face to face.

"Gin, do you want me to..." I began, not sure how to say it, then I saw her pained face "Are you okay?" I asked. It was probably a stupid question. Actually it _was_ a stupid question and she obviously thought so too, I had worked her up, made her sexually wanting and now I was about to leave it at that? I doubted she'd let me. I _loved_ that about her, she knew what she wanted. Independent, sexy and smart, could I ask for more in a woman?

I probably could, but she would most likely have those qualities too.

She growled softly at me "I want you too Harry" she told me, her voice turning soft. I suppose I understood how comfortable she was with me in that second. She _did_ trust me, she trusted me completely, how couldn't she? I had been her best and closest friend since she was five years old. We had formed a friendship that was unlike anything I shared with the others. We where the outcast, the freaks among the normal people; her with the chamber incident and the dark knowledge and power she had now forever in her soul, me; with all the dark thing's in my life, past and present. She _did_ trust me; she was just waiting for the right time to begin a relationship, in that moment I understood. I knew she would date me when I told her about Cassie, I was sure of it and I would make sure to tell her soon. Sometime before the wedding I would tell her.

Finally remembering something important, I waved my hand on the door, casting an extra silencing charm on it. I wanted her to scream in pleasure. We weren't having sex, but for someone like Ginny, I doubted she ever had an orgasm; I wanted to be the first to give it to her. She was still breathing heavily, both of us sweating slightly now, I reached over and tugged the sheets over us, I was sure she'd feel very exposed without it. I looked at her face again, and she nodded.

She really did want this.

But I was always one for the journey, and I wanted her to feel something before she came. "Trust me" I whispered to her, before sneaking my arms around her back and lifting her slightly so she was pushed up against my chest, her skin on mine. We both moaned at the same time, it was great feeling, the skin to skin contact when she had a bra on, but now with nothing covering her torso or mine, it really was something amazing. I didn't linger however, I could still see her face, very much begging me for realise, her muscles tense, ready for the feeling of her bones being unhinged. I did it all slowly, deliberately gliding my hands from her smooth stomach to the waist of her jean. I popped the first button open and then slowly, I slid the zipper down, my hands brushing over her. She moaned my name softly, her eyes closed.

I kept my eyes on her. No matter how comfortable she may look now, she was still a teenage girl and someone I had swam naked in the lake with when we were younger. She was still insecure and not matter how much I wanted to see her, all of her, I didn't want her to feel like it was at all a mistake. I kept my eyes firmly on her.

I slid her jeans down until her legs where free from it, kissing her stomach in reassurance as I felt her also lazy knickers, stopping to wonder briefly if they were blue too. I felt myself harden uncomfortably in my jeans. I quickly shed her knickers and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when I brushed my hand over her. "You're beautiful" I whispered. All she needed was some reassurance.

She pressed her face into my shoulders, I could feel her teeth on my skin. I turned my head and kissed her head "here we go Gin" I whispered, my voice husky as I inserted a finger into her. She moaned and bit into my shoulder when I began to pumping in and out, adding another finger shortly after, finding myself becoming unbelievably aroused as I felt her become wet with pleasure and tighten around my fingers. I pumped her a few more times until she came and _almost_ screamed my name out. I'd wait to do that her later, I supposed.

We fell on to the bed, both breathing heavily but both very happy. I was trying to control my breathing (and my arousal) when Ginny turned to look at me "Hey, my turn?" she asked. I smiled at her softly before kissing her gently on the lips.

"No tiger tonight is about you" I told her. The uncomfortable pain in my pants and all the waiting was worth it when she shot me a glorious smile, obviously grateful. I think it was a mixture between her being too tired to do it and also being a bit shy too, despite what she had just allowed me to share with her.

"You got some more of your clothes I can wear Harry?" she asked, slightly sleepily

Forty five minutes later, we were both showered and in bed, me in just my boxers, Ginny also in my boxers wearing the same favourite shirt she had worn a month ago. We snuggled up, me spooning her and kissing her neck fondly as she spoke.

"Thank you Harry that was...that was..." she tried to find the word but I shook my head, knowing she could feel it on her neck and told her it didn't need words and that it was okay.

"Ginny" I whispered into the darkness "I know what you're waiting for, I know you want to know about...Cassie" I grimaced, struggling between feeling like I owed Cassie to think about her but finding it painful too "I'll tell you about her soon, I'll _show _you. But Gin...that story doesn't have a happy ending. But I will. I'll show you soon"

I knew we both felt the change in our relationship, we both knew we liked each other and it made everything different, she turned in my arms and reached up slowly to place a soft tender kiss on my scar "Thank you Harry, I'll be waiting. No matter what happens, you will always be my best friend... No matter what happens" she grinned at me then "You're bloody stuck with me Harry Potter, get used to it"

The hatred in my heart lessened somewhat "I plan to Ginevra, I really do"

* * *

Thank You for the reviews so far, they do make me churn out chapters quicker, which is sorta bad 'cos I'm currently ignoring a few other important things I should do :P

Since ive spent aaages on this chapter, you can be lovely and review ;)

_HyperActiveMonkey_

**Next Chapter: **Harry & Ginny take a bath - but it's not what you think!


	5. The Monster in Me

_AN - _Thank you so much for the reviews, they are really encouraging, keep them coming! Oh almost forgot to add, (a lovely reviewer reminded me!) spot the Twilight reference, or not, either way I must acknowledge that I've tired to use it :)

Enjoy!

**Newly Edited**

* * *

_What Goes Around, Comes Around_

The Monster in Me

The seconds turned into minutes, the minutes into hours. The sky was littered with clouds, behind them the moon could be faintly seen and the breeze brought about a gentle caress on my face, making me sigh and close my eyes, at peace for the first time in a while. I vaguely registered the late hour and continued to sit quietly in the same position I had for the last hour and a half.

Since we had confessed our feelings, everything seemed to be going perfectly, Ginny and I had only become closer, more comfortable and my love for her grew. I felt like a man at that moment, I felt as though I could face the world head on and win, as if I could face Voldemort wandless and still rise above him as I had done before. But the wind also brought about an unsettling feeling something was about to change. I should have known it was too good to last.

~*~*~

I had just finished enduring, for there was no other way to describe it, a painful and torturously energy-absorbing Quidditch session. Ron had officially begun to scare me. It didn't matter that I was co-captain, I couldn't stop him; he went crazy when he was on the pitch, but good crazy I tried to reason. I let the hot water of the shower in the Gryffindor changing rooms wash away my pain but when I stepped out I still felt immensely tired, now beginning to ponder different ways to kill Ron Weasley and get away with it. Since our match against Slytherin was just two days away, Ron found the need to train us every other day, wanting desperately to win the cup this year and beat Malfoy once and for all – personally I think he was on some form of wizard drugs. We had the best team in years; Ginny had trained the chasers so well that they become almost as flawless as she was on the pitch – so Ron let up on her. Seamus, who had convinced Dean to become a beater with him, had trained Dean also, so now both resembled a decent imitation of Fred and George Weasley, but still no were near. And of course, Ron let up on them. I on the other hand, had no one to train and better, so I got the full front of my psychopathic captain's rigorous training, with Ginny laughing and commenting at me the whole time.

I'd make sure the silly tiger would pay for it later.

I was however; very thankful Ginny was okay now. Ginny's mood had turned remarkably sour the day after our heated moment in my bedroom and I had wondered if I had pissed her off somehow. I had told her simply enough in the morning that she looked beautiful, I personally found the school skirt she had been wearing to be unbelievably tempting and instead of getting a 'Thank You' or something of the sort, she had unleashed her full wrath on me, shouting at me and accusing me, screaming that I was implying she was ugly all the other times I hadn't called her beautiful. I don't know where on earth she had gotten that idea, but I was man enough to admit I had been slightly scared but also rather aroused too.

But, as the good guy I thought I was, I let it go.

More strangely enough she then began to be nice to me at breakfast, _too_ nice. I couldn't stop myself from shuddering when she slowly moved her hand up and down my thigh at breakfast. I had been eating what was then a very pleasant tasting piece of beacon and found myself practically choking on it when I realised what she was doing, her on the other hand, continued to eat, smiling into her toast and pretending to be oblivious. I had to put up with Hermione's _very_ knowing looks and Ron's constant badgering of "You sure you're okay mate?" all throughout breakfast and most of the morning too. It was when she returned to screaming at me at lunch, just a few hours later, I finally held the white flag of defeat and stomped over to Hermione, begging her to spare the mercy of telling me what I had done wrong so that I could at least fix it.

Turns out Ginny was having _one of those days_ that women frequented _every month_. It had felt like so much had happened since the last time she had gotten this mad for no reason that I forgot this sort of thing happened to her. I quickly set out; sending a letter to Honeydukes, for their best chocolate and it arrived in the mail for her the following morning, bringing some along for Hermione too. I was now in Ginny's good books.

_Thank God_

I smiled fondly as I trudged back outside the Quidditch locker room, spotting her with Hermione and Ron. The evening was drawing to a close and the brisk winter weather was slowly setting in. I caught up with them, not having the energy to say hello and headed towards the kitchens, feeling the need for a warm hot chocolate only the Hogwarts house elf's could provide. Ginny was soon at my side, shivering slightly against the cold and I didn't hesitate to place my arms around her, knowing (and hoping) Ron wouldn't take much notice of it and luckily he didn't, to busy staring lovingly at Hermione. It was nice I suppose, but it kind of made me sick, _I _certainly wasn't that mushy.

She turned her head to smile up at me. I didn't fail to notice the playful look on her face "So…"

I smiled back, frowning jokily at her "So, since when is today 'Pick on Harry day?'" I asked her, tickling her in the ribs, chuckling when she squirmed and laughed out loud, earning a look from both Ron and Hermione who had somehow ended up in front of both of us.

She punched me softly in the stomach, frowning in mock anger when I barley flinched "Aww…Poor Harry. Does little baby 'arry need a hug?"

I ignored her patronising look and pretended to think, tapping my chin with the free hand that wasn't around her shoulders. "Maybe not a _hug_ but a very long _kiss_ would be quite nice" I whispered to her quietly

She eyed me then. I, of course was joking, her brother had just turned the corner and we weren't that far off from Gryffindor tower now, I wasn't exactly expecting Ginny to do anything. That would be for later. Considering that, I didn't bother to hide my surprise when she yanked me into a nearby broom closet, much like Cho had done the last time. It was one of the rather small broom closets. I had a feeling I was going to enjoy this moment, if Ginny's looks were anything to go by.

"Oh crap, I forgot the hot chocolate!" I whined, remembering.

Ginny had closed the door and walked over to me, stopping suddenly and turning to face me fully, an amused look on her face "You _have_ been hanging around Ron too much Harry" She shook her head.

By now she was close enough that I could make out her face, even in the dark, pressed so intimately to me. She really was the drug, the habit I didn't want to kick. I reached up to touch her face, running soft circles on her cheeks with my hands. She looked at me as though I was the prize and her the winner, even though it felt very much the other way around, I felt as though I was the poor beggar on the street who had picked up a winning lottery ticket from the floor of the garbage.

She was ridiculously rare; it was exactly a way to describe her, at least to an undeserving person such as me.

Even though the small room was dark, I imagined her eyes, they way in which they showed her emotions, no matter how hard she tired to hide them, I pictured seeing tenderness, because it was how she looked at me ever since I had showed her the tattoo but I envisioned that it was hope that would shine most brightly in her eyes. Hope for us, that we could make it work or have the courage to begin the journey together and hope, for me, that I would prove to her my faithfulness and commitment. I felt in that moment so unbelievably _normal_. Here I was; having a normal semi-problematic melodrama with a girl I was so desperately and feverishly in love with. It made a nice change to running away from Death Eaters and planning my next escape from a Dark Lord.

It was almost an hour later that I returned to Gryffindor common room, a perfect excuse on the tip of my tongue. I walked in ignoring the whispers that I was drunk. Her kisses were really that good.

I wasn't mushy what so ever.

~*~*~

In all the time the drama with me and Ginny was going on, I got into the habit of almost neglecting my friendship with Ron, he never mentioned it, but I knew it was beginning to get to him so it was on one rainy Saturday in November that I sat down with him and pulled out his chest set, asking silently for him to play with me. On noticing his happy and accepting expression, my guilt mounted and I promised my self to not neglect him any more. He was my first friend and he was my brother, I owed him a lot.

We sat silently in play, him winning, me concentrating pointlessly because we both knew I wouldn't win. Ron was the best chest player I had ever had the sore losers luck of knowing and playing chest with him was more about who could hold out the longest before he killed all your players, instead of who could win. No one could beat Ron and no one had so far. The Gryffindor common room was more quite than usual. The rain continued to pelt against the windows and some Gryffindor's could be seen staring out of the windows looking towards the Quidditch pitch occasionally laughing out loud. I smiled and saw that Ron was smiling too, the Slytherin's had 'unfortunately' booked their practice session for today and Malfoy being the arrogant idiot he was, continued to drill his players into a worthless Quidditch session out side in the freezing rain as people from other houses watched from their windows in their warm common rooms. The Gryffindor's in particular were enjoying this moment.

I looked around the common room as Ron studied how best to kill my bishop, he was obviously finding a way to kill it and then lay a trap so he would kill another of my chess pieces before I fully registered what was going on. Despite the rain, their weren't that many Gryffindor's around, just a few scattered around doing homework on this dreary afternoon, some where probably off snogging someone else in the corner of an empty classroom or broom closet, at least I _knew_ that was what Lavender and Dean were doing, he obviously had gotten over messing around with Ginny. I still hadn't talked to him, but I knew it would come soon enough. I was startled out of my thoughts when I felt Ron lean over and punch my shoulder playfully.

"Hey, are you even listening?"

I cleared my throat and glanced at him "Sorry, what?"

"I said, 'do you know where Hermione is?'" He asked me, looking down and smirking when one of my chess pieces waved his tiny hand at me in anger, Ron's knight alarming close by. I moved my bishop away from Ron's knight only to groan out loud when Ron's queen seemed to come out of nowhere and kill it. Ron shot me a smug smile.

"She's with Ginny in the library, doing some homework or something" I told him, studying my next move

I noticed him roll his eyes "where else would she be?" he murmured rhetorically, also studying his next move.

A question had been nagging away at me for the past two months, ever since Ginny had come to me with her proposal. I gathered up some courage and looked him in the face. "So…" I began, hoping my voice sounded casual "How come you aren't tearing Dean into small pieces?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulder, nonchalant and for a split second I thought he'd grown out of his big brother protective faze but I was quickly brought down to earth.

"Well, I wanted too. But Ginny threatened to…what was it…_remove vital and important body parts and burn them off_, plus she looked like she was going to send me the bat bogey hex right that moment so…"

I nodded quickly in understanding. Men lost their courage around an angry Ginny, myself included. Ron had more of a reason to be afraid than I, considering Ginny looked the split image of Mrs. Weasley when she was mad. _I've never been on Mrs. Weasley's bad side_, I thought smugly, quickly hiding the smile on my face.

We played for another hour, me struggling to keep my king alive, resorting to running away from his pieces as they all attacked my last chess piece with relentless pace. When he finally took my beloved king, I was saved from a Ron who was about to do a sort of victory dance by Hermione entering the portrait hole and Ron's attention quickly disappeared from the game to the said girl. She came over and placed her books near the arm chairs we where occupying, sitting herself down on Ron's lap, her head resting on his shoulders as they both melted in to each other, her obviously relaxed at the public display of affection between them both. I watched, not uncomfortable as I had once been. They where two pieces of a different puzzle, very different but still able to fit perfectly together, despite the troubles they went through in order to do so. I had never been upset about the fact my two best friends _finally_ got together and are now insanely happy, I wasn't afraid I would be the third wheel, even though I sort of was at times like this, no, because it all came down to the fact that I always had Ginny and so I never felt alone.

When Ron and Hermione got cosy? I had Ginny.

When Ron and Hermione needed alone time? I had Ginny

And when Ron and I got into arguments and Hermione couldn't decide who to side with, _I had Ginny_.

I smiled at them "Hey 'Mione, Where's Gin?"

Hermione lifted her hand and glanced at her watch "She went down to the kitchen; she wanted a hot chocolate, something about feeling a cold coming on. She should be here soon" I nodded my head and smiled in thanks, before I reached over and grabbed my leather jacket, putting it on before heading out towards the kitchens.

"Where are you going Harry?" Ron called out to me; I turned around and winked at him "Leaving you and Hermione here alone. I'm of to find Ginny. See you" I stepped out of the portrait hole, rolling my eyes at the fat lady when she murmured under her breath about how handsome I was. _Like I need a portrait to tell me that_, I thought, taking the short way and heading towards a hidden staircase. I walked out of the portrait that was concealing it, walking at a moderate pace, but actually wanting to run so that I could hold her in my arms faster. It was then that I noticed her.

She looked me dead in the eye and I realised something was wrong. Her t-shirt was ripped, the jeans she wore roughed up, as though she had gotten into a fight. Her hair was slightly messy but her eyes looked hunted. They seemed hollow.

I rushed over to her, almost tripping over my own feet in the rush. I grabbed her and held on to her as she seemed to fall limp in my arms, me supporting her whole weight. "Gin? Ginny?" I lightly tapped her face, kissed her check and head contentiously, trying to do _something_ about her eyes which held on to the hunted look she was giving me. I was beginning to get worried, she wasn't responding, what the hell was this? Shock? I quickly made my mind up and lifted her up into my arms till I was holding her bridal style and almost flew up the stairs, all the while noticing with a sinking feeling that she didn't move at all, simply staring me, but I knew she wasn't really seeing. I quickly made my mind up and turned heading towards the infirmary instead of my bedroom, I headed back towards my bedroom when Ginny gave out a loud whimper, practically begging me to take her anywhere apart from there. It was then I noticed the large, red mark she had on her neck, similar to the effect left on your skin if someone cast a stinging hex continuously on the same spot. I grit my teeth and moved faster towards the Head's common room, finally reaching my room I wandless opened the door and let go of Ginny as she struggled against me.

I looked at her, in the middle of my room she looked lost, afraid, as if she wished the room would sallow her up and take her away "Gin?"

She didn't say anything expect to slowly lie on my bed in a zombie like way. I moved cautiously to her, afraid myself, letting the anger stay in the back of my mind for the time being. It was scaring the daylights out of me, Ginny was a fighter, she was strong and yet Ginny looked ashamed and sick. I noticed with disdain that the look of sickness and shame was directed at _herself._

She turned her head towards my bathroom and then back at me with deliberate slowness. I nodded my head and stepped into the bathroom, turning the hot water of the shower, allowing it to steam up the room when I turned around to head back into my room I noticed Ginny standing close by, silent, if it had been any other day I would have been momentarily shocked, but it wasn't the time. I watched as she stepped in to the shower, fully clothed and took a fistful of my shirt in her small, shaking hand, begging me with her eyes to follow her and I did.

We had ended up sitting down on the floor of the shower, her wet clothed back pressed to my chest, her sitting in between my bent legs. I didn't know how long we sat like that, the water had gone from boiling hot to freezing cold till I waved my hand and it went back to hot. We had stayed under the shower long enough that both our hands looked wrinkly but I also did a small charm and they returned to normal. Ginny obviously wasn't in a rush to get out and because of that, nor was I.

She still hadn't spoken, and I had began to wonder if I should call Hermione or someone, but seeing her expression when I suggested it, I quickly shut up and seated myself back down. It seemed like hours or maybe years later that she finally turned around to face me. Her hair wet from the shower, her clothes, along with mine soaked, drenched. She lifted her head slightly, tilting it till I could see her painful red neck and I felt my anger return. But then I caught her face, pleading with me to help her now and I pushed that anger once more in the back of my head, though I knew I was _very_ close to losing it.

I leaned forward and her breath hitched, though I realised painfully, not from arousal but fear. I continued to lean toward her, more slowly until my lips were pressed ever so gently on the red spot of her neck and I kissed it lightly as the water continued to pelt on us. I lifted my lips away from the offending mark and gently placed my hand above it. A small blue light sprouted from my hand to wash away the redness of her neck, much like the water was washing away her tears. She signed in relief when her pain disappeared.

"Oh Gin…" I whispered, kissing her gently on the lips.

I was surprised when she lifted her shirt over her head, exposing her stomach and leaving her only in her bra. She met my questioning gaze with one of her own and it was then I realised that she had a large hand print on her stomach and a similar red hex mark on her shoulder. I grit my teeth harder than before, my eyes turning pitch black in fury, my hands clenching together in anger. I knew then what had happened, because I could picture it so vividly in my head; almost as if Ginny was sending me the mental picture herself.

She had run into Malfoy

I could picture her then, determined and strong as she told him to shove off, suspicious of him being nice to her once more. I pictured her turning her back on him like the innocent Gryffindor she was in that moment, only to scream as he shot her a hex from behind. I could even picture him pushing her against the wall of the deserted corridor. I could see it now, he had left practice early, maybe finally realising what a stupid idea it was, and in his anger and frustration he stupidly let his desires for Ginny overtake him and in doing so knew, absolutely _knew_ that I would hunt him down and make him beg for my mercy. Because I knew what he had almost done to her.

I knew in my heart he didn't get to complete what he set out to do, I could almost picture Ginny actually turning into her animagus when she finally came around from the shock. And I saw in my mind the way she ran away from him, not having the energy or the evil in her heart to kill him then and there. She didn't but I did.

I ran my hands over her stomach and then her shoulders, listening to her grateful sign as the marks disappeared. When I thought she'd be O.K. on her own, I got up and dripping wet went to my room, grabbing a clean towel and a pair of my boxers along with her shirt, I laid them on the towel rack and closed the door behind me as I went over to sit on my desk. My hands on my face, my eyes were still charcoal black. I had to make sure Ginny didn't spot that.

I locked my door, sending a letter with Hedwig along to Hermione who would receive it and answer any suspicion Ron had. She would tell him Ginny and I where at the library and then would probably head to bed; she would find a way to distract Ron. One day I would make sure Hermione knew just how much I loved her. It was 3 in the afternoon but I changed into a pair of black pyjama bottoms and a black tank top, propping myself against the head board and waiting for Ginny to come out.

When she did emerge from the shower, hair damp, still somewhat shaky, in my boxers and my 'Magic' shirt, she placed her dry clothes on a chair, obviously having dried them and slowly made her way into bed with me, falling under the covers, her face faced towards me. She held a look of restlessness and I quickly pulled the covers back and went underneath them, bringing her small, slander body to mine.

I caught her eyes and noticed with relief the warmth that was beginning to spread slowly into them. She continued to look at me, tucked gently and protectively to my chest. I waited for her to talk but all there was was silence. One hour went by and Ginny didn't say anything.

Two

Three

Three and a half

It was now late, and Ginny had finally fallen asleep in my arms. Outside the sky was changing into the evening outlook and I continued to hold her. She hadn't talked and I hadn't pressured.

That day I learnt patience.

I heard a soft knock on my door and knowing who it was I called softly to them to come in. Hermione entered the room, took one look at my face and rushed over to me. Noticing the way I held Ginny's body protectively to mine, she gently sat herself on the other side of the bed, stroking her best friend's hair softly.

"What happened Harry?" she asked, fearfully

I shook my head "I'm not really sure" I cleared my throat when I noticed how croaky I sounded after so many hours of not being used. My voice sounded different to even my ears, hurt and just in control.

"Where's Ron?"

She paused for a moment, looking down at Ginny in concern, still stroking Ginny's soft hair "With Seamus, arguing the chances of the _Cannons_ winning their next match, he'll be busy for at least another hour"

I nodded my head, returning to look at Ginny once more "Would you…would you hold on to her for a bit? Please?"

She looked hesitant, spotting my eye colour she took on a more defensive look "What are you going to do Harry?"

I shook my head, still barely holding my control "Please 'Mione?"

I knew she wouldn't resist the urgency and pleading tone to my voice, whether she liked it or not, whether she guessed what I was about to do or not, her love for her best friend overtook her love for being the head girl and telling me off.

She took my position and laid herself out next to Ginny, holding on tightly to the red head in the comforting way only a sister could. I put on a pair of trousers on top of my pyjamas and grabbed my leather jacket, tying my shoe laces I stormed out of my room, finding enough strength to not slam the door and wake Ginny up.

I quickly found myself in the dungeons; my eyes still like dark charcoal, shimmering with hate. I stood outside the Slytherin common room, having the authority to walk into it, but knowing what I wanted to do, I knew it wasn't the smart thing. To my luck and Malfoy's dismay, I spotted Pansy walking towards me, I didn't give her time to think, casting the spell I made her say the password and walk in, I made her find Malfoy and tell him that Professor Snape was waiting outside and he wanted to see him but didn't have the time to come in.

Malfoy stepped out of the common room a while later and I took the spell of Pansy. His smug smile turned into a frown when he noticed me and before he had the chance to do anything, I punched him in the face, hearing the satisfying sound of his nose breaking.

I was already past caring how illegal I was going to get, how if found and caught I would serve a life sentence in Azkaban for what I did to Pansy. But I would make Malfoy pay. Dragging his unconscious body in to a nearby empty classroom, I locked the door and cast a silencing charm. I threw him into the corner of the room, casting the spell to wake him up, feeling no mercy or forgiveness when he opened his eyes and stared fearfully around the room. Wandlessly summing his wand I snapped it in half and threw it across the room, making sure my own wand was in the leather jacket safely. I was doing this the muggle way.

I didn't have the time to worry about who I was becoming. I didn't care that I was being the monster I had not allowed myself to be since I was 16.

I didn't care how close I was to killing him, how I wouldn't even flinch in that moment if I did. Malfoy looked fearfully up at me; screaming for help stupidly and I pulled my fist back and hit him.

Over and over and over again

* * *

**I'll try to update asap! I know you're all wondering about Cassie, but it'll come! Few more chapters! Everything will be explained, bad harry included. **

Please Review!

_HyperActiveMonkey_

:)


	6. In This Friendship To Forgive is Crucial

_"It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission"_ ~Grace Hopper

**Newly Edited**

* * *

_What Goes Around, Comes Around_

In This Friendship To Forgive is Crucial

The night rolled on slowly. Thunder now dominated the black sky, the rain crashing down on top of the roofs and windows of the historical castle with a vengeance. It was as though someone up in heaven was crying, crying for me and for everything I had done wrong. He was on his sixth turn. I lifted him up and through him across the room with all the force of five fully grown men. I heard the crack of his spine and felt a snarl rip from my mouth as his screams increased. He lay bloody, his hand coming up in front of himself protectively.

As if that would stop me

His begging hadn't stopped me the first time round, the threats hadn't stopped me in the second and his constant moans of pain and grief wouldn't stop me now. I doubted anything could really stop me now. My hand came out in front of me as I cast a blood replenishing spell and healed his wounds. He gasped, flipping himself on his back as he felt the last of the pain fade away. He noticed the sadistic smile on my face and closed his eyes wearily, reading himself for the next onslaught of pain. As if he couldn't possible imagine it to be worse. But I could make it worse. He disserved it.

~*~*~

If I thought about it I could still feel the glorious amount of furious anger coursing in my body, still a lot of hate swimming about, ready to be realised like a bullet in a gun, my finger deadly close to the trigger. I had pounded Malfoy till he could barely breathe; I had beaten him so much even _I_ couldn't recognise his face. His arrogant smirk wouldn't ever been seen on his face again, after a while, he couldn't walk or talk, broken nose, broken jaw, broken legs, broken hand, broken _everything_. There was no pity or mercy in me, because when I noticed him close to death, I did what I had known the Death Eaters did when they felt particularly nasty.

I healed him and repeated the torture all over again

It was on his eighth turn, after I had healed him, revived him (because he fainted so many times) and was about to hit him again that I found myself thrown to the wall. I had jumped back up, wand suddenly in my hand when I noticed her. Ginny had slipped off my invisibility clock and with the Marauders map, found me exactly where I was, slowly killing Draco Malfoy and enjoying every minute of it. She had gotten past my wards, like I knew she was able to, and healed Malfoy up once more, before oblivating his memory and kicking him hard on his groin. He would awake in the morning with no memory of what had happened, no memory of what he had almost done to _my _Ginny and no memory of his torture, just a very dizzy head and a semi-lasting amount of pain in his lower reigns.

She had done that all without speaking, still wearing my boxers and my shirt, she looked as though she wished for nothing more than to sleep. I had stepped forward hesitantly, whispering a nervous 'Gin?' but the look on her face said it all, _shut up and follow me_. And I did.

So here I was in my bedroom an hour later feeling ashamed of myself because I was about to kill him, sooner or later. But mostly I felt ashamed at the way she had looked at me, like she had expected me to do exactly what I did. I wasn't the first time she'd seen the monster I could become but I had hopped she'd never have to see it again. At first I thought it was ludicrous, I mean, what the hell was wrong with her? Did she forget what he had almost done? I doubted it very much, but I think it was the fact that she was fundamentally a _good_ person, who had never killed anyone in her entire life that made her stop me, well, it was that which saved Draco Malfoy from death. The simple fact Ginny Weasley was a better person than I, a more humane person and so being raised by Molly Weasley and having known close friends tortured by Death Eaters in the same way, she refused to be like them. She wasn't a monster, but I certainly was.

My eyes were now green again, every once in a while a dark tint of black would encircle on the edges of my eyes but after taking deep breaths I would once again relax and it would go back to the dark green it was at the moment. She was in the shower again and I grit my teeth against the feelings of hate that brought up in me. The feeling of dirtiness and shame was probably threatening to tear her apart, but knowing my anger wouldn't help right now, I choose to thank God Malfoy hadn't…finished… what he started, but if he had, nothing in the world would of stopped me from killing him.

Absolutely nothing

Life was unfair and no one knew that more than me, but I was sure Ginny was starting to realise the harsh truth too. She stepped out of the shower, hair damp once more, wearing a pair of pyjamas Hermione had given her. I stood up from my place on the edge of my bed and moved towards the other side of the room, where on the floor there laid a pillow and a made up bed, which I knew as soon as I had seen it, I knew I'd be forced to sleep in. Not so much because Ginny wanted me too, but because she _needed_ me too. I watched as she crawled in to my bed, pulling the dark maroon sheets on herself, not fully becoming comfortable until Hermione entered the room. I watched, my head now firmly attached to my pillow as Hermione jumped into bed as well, and both friends hugged each other close before I sighed and turned the lights of with a flick of my wrist, a comfortable feeling settling over the room, or as comfortable as if could be considering the circumstances.

I had never really realised how deep their friendship was and it seemed to play in my mind as I stared up at the dark ceiling, occasionally hearing the movement of one of the girls holding the other tighter, as if by doing so the protection offered rose by a tenfold and they would settle again, if only for a while. I suppose with guys it was different, we bonded through 'manly' means, whatever the hell that really meant. With Ron, it was his ability to stay loyal to me in the face of danger that showed to me constantly how deep our friendship was, it was how he trusted me with his family's life and respected my decisions as I did for him that showed it, even if he didn't like them, and he would tell me it often. A lot of your friends will tell you they would die for you but when it came down to it you'd be surprised how many would run away at the first opportunity. Ron actually would die for me, as I would for him. Of course like all true friends, we've argued and fought over a lot of things, sometimes for stupid reasons others for important ones, but I always knew he 'had my back' and that was good enough for me.

With the girls I think it was the same in a lot of ways but also different in others. With Hermione and Ginny it was how they talked about each other, protective like any sibling's would be (despite the fact they obviously weren't) and always layered with a deep sense of affection. Hermione; the odd social reject, shunned early in her childhood for having knowledge beyond her years in this world and Ginny; for being the youngest in a large family of men and for the terrible experience that had befallen her in her second year. The girls protected themselves from the outside world because before they met each other, they didn't really have anyone else. Well, Ginny did, she had me, but it was different, I was still in the end just a guy.

I closed my eyes as I heard Ginny whimper into the night and barley contained myself from jumping up and rushing over to comfort her, but it was Hermione she needed now, and for the time being I could cope with that.

The room was still dark when I awoke a few hours later. The sun was very slowly peaking in from the curtains, trying to break through the painful atmosphere that still resided in the room. I lifted my arm to wipe at my face and yawned quietly, getting up softly when I noticed both Ginny and Hermione awake, their back's against the head broad of my bed. It was obvious from the looks on their faces that neither had slept a wink. I walked slowly towards the edge of the bed, my bare feet patting softly on the warm hard wood floor. I slowly sat on the bed.

"Hey, I know you're angry at me…" I whispered into the darkness "but let me swap with Hermione, please Gin"

Hermione didn't have the strength to pretend she didn't need the sleep anymore, her shoulders slumped and her head seemed dangerously close to pushing her body towards the pillows. Ginny finally noticed this and turning soft eyes onto Hermione's face she nodded, turning back to look at me with a small frown. I sighed and moved towards her as Hermione kissed her on her cheeks, gave me one look which clearly told me to behave and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her as she went. Ginny turned her head towards the curtained windows as I moved to sit next to her, being both distant and close by. The minutes went by and both of us had said a word, because in all honestly, what was there to say?

_Ginny, I love you and I'm sorry for what I did. But I don't regret it because he deserves it?_

Maybe not

_Hey tiger, I'm here if you need to talk_

Maybe not even that

_I love you_

I shook my head slowly, trying to take comfort in the fact that it wasn't only me she wasn't talking to but also Hermione. That was rather selfish but I was past caring. I turned my head to look out of the window, the sun was beginning to peek into the room, causing light shadows to fall over the various objects surrounding my sanctuary, the little rays of light poured in through the window onto Ginny's face, highlighting my fears and gripping my heart till I felt as though it was being squeezed. She looked _broken_. I reached out to touch her cheek, unable to hold back the grimace when she flinched back, away from my touch. Her hands where across her chest as if she was shielding herself from me and the world and huge black circles lay underneath her eyes, her hair tied up in to a messy pony tail and her back stiff against the head broad.

I don't know how long I spent sitting next to her, unable to come up with something to say or do to make her feel better, or even something small, I was waiting to do something small enough to get some sort of reaction from her. I wasn't _this_ guy material, I'd never handle crying girls or said beautiful long speeches to warm their hearts when they hurt, but just this once I wished with all my heart that I could, because she needed it, she looked as though she was waiting for something to tell her she should and could snap out of it. Or maybe I was reading her all wrong.

But finally, as if God Himself was taking mercy on the heart broken girl sitting next to me, she closed her eyes and slumped against the headboard, falling into a restless sleep. I checked my watch, 4:55 and cast a quick cleansing spell on both of us, shifted Ginny till she was lying in a more comfortable position on the bed, her head on the pillow and lay down beside her, carefully maintaining the distance, making sure it said, _'I'm here for you, but I'm trying not to crowd you"_.

Either way she was sleeping and against my will I too felt my eyelids close until I was curtained in a black darkness.

_*~*~*_

That was a month ago and December was now upon Hogwarts castle and everyone could feel it. The grounds were covered in a blanket of white snow, the air was cold but not uninviting and everywhere I looked a saw happy smiling faces and happy smiling couples and yet, Ginny still wasn't talking to me. She was talking to Hermione, she was talking to Ron, hell she was talking to the whole school it seemed, everyone but me and I wasn't sure why. The only real light was the fact Malfoy kept getting sent to the infirmary with injuries so serious sometimes his mother would come in and shout at the Headmaster, demanding he find the culprit. I saw Dumbledore sometimes shoot me looks at breakfast, as if he knew it was me, but in everyone's best interest decided not to act upon it, besides he had no proof. I never left any.

The Weasley's where off to the Borrow tomorrow, for the holiday season had already started and I would be returning home and so would Hermione and then in two weeks time, Uncle Mooney would marry Aunt Tonks and I would have to dance with Ginny who seemed repulsed if I even brushed her hands by accident down the corridor. And that was bugging me, that was what had me staying inside when everyone was playing Quidditch outside, my mind wouldn't let me concentrate on anything apart from the looks of disgust she'd sent my way. I wasn't Malfoy, so why was she treating me as though as was?

I heard Hermione continue to write down her Potions homework, of course it wasn't due till the end of the Christmas holidays but it was _Hermione_ so I didn't say anything. She was the complete opposite of Ginny, _she _seemed to have warmed up to me, she hugged me more, she gently messed my hair up in a display of sibling affection and that got me wondering why too. As much as she had helped me these last few months, what with keeping Ron from asking why me and Ginny weren't close anymore and everything, I was hoping more it was Ginny who gave me soft touches and gentle words of encouragement, not Hermione. Regardless I was still 'happy' _one _of my female friends loved me

But what hurt the most? Not the fact Ginny wouldn't speak to me, not that she wouldn't look my way, not even that she looked horrified if we touched even the slightest bit, no, it was the fact I suddenly realised how dependent I was on her. I hadn't slept well in a very long time, not while she lay in her own room, on the other side of the tower, without me. And I felt lonely, ridiculously, heart-breaking lonely.

But now I was beginning to tire of it all, I missed my best friend. I missed our silly, playful banter. I missed playing with her hair while we caught up on each other's day. All in all, I missed _her_. Hermione noticed.

I was so into my thoughts I failed to duck out of the way when Hermione slapped me with the Daily Prophet

"Ow...What did you do that for?" I asked, rubbing my head and frowning at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, that didn't hurt. Harry stop acting like a baby and talk to her"

Talk to her? I wasn't going to talk to her, I hadn't done anything wrong and I told Hermione so.

She huffed slightly and she set her papers down on the table and turned to fully face me, with the common room half empty, she made sure I wouldn't miss any of what she was about to say. "Listen Harry, its simple. Ginny trusts you, more than me, more than Ron, more than anyone else and I'm sure it's the same with you. I understand, because it's like that with me and Ron-"

I was about to protest my relationship with Ginny wasn't _anything_ like hers and Ron's, no matter how much I wanted it to be but Hermione was having none of it. "You're not listening! But more than anything Ginny looks up to you, just like the rest of us do. And imagine how she feels after holding herself from going back and beating the crap out of him –"

And now I was getting worried, for Hermione didn't curse and when she did it mostly meant someone was in trouble. I turned to look away, feeling the spike-laced traces of guilt inching their way towards my heart but I felt a firm but warm hand grab my chin and turn me so that I was once again facing her.

"...To find that _you _did. Harry, you know Ginny saw her friends after they were kidnapped. You saw how she struggled not to become resentful and spiteful when her friends around her where facing torture. And yet...the one person she _knew_ wouldn't crack, wouldn't behave like those..._monsters_...turns around and does just that"

This time I couldn't stop my eyes from falling towards the ground, ashamed. But she wasn't finished.

"So imagine, for just one moment, having someone you look up to more than everyone else, because they are good and kind and _hold on_, only for that person to turn around and be everything you hate in your enemy. Hateful, spiteful, evil" she said the last word softly, as if to soften the blow and I understood.

She gave me one last look, clearly telling me I was the one who had to fix it, that I had to let my ego fall so that I could right the wrong's I had made. She leaned over and kissed my forehead before gently nudging me on the shoulder, mutely reminding me that I had wanted to take a nap before everyone came back from Quidditch. The nightmares had come back in full force and the dark circles under my eyes where damn near impossible to hide now, even with magic.

I nodded, a week smile on my face before rushing upstairs, taking two steps at a time before falling into bed, clothed, worn out and a plan forming in my mind.

~*~*~

Ginny Weasley wasn't in the mood and the next person who asked her if she was okay, she'd hex them. More than that, she'd shout and then hex them. She had been doing a pretty great job of pretending everything was okay the entire month (save the first night) but today she found no energy to pretend and so she wasn't bothering to smile but now, with everyone asking her, she plastered the stupid fake smile straight back on.

_Nosy bastards, can't they let me be depressed on my own_

However, she would admit the Quidditch had been a welcome break. She loved it, the feel of the wind whipping past her, the feeling of having complete control of your own fate, in times when the war threatened to tear everyone apart, a lot of people didn't have control of their own lives and that was scary enough as it was without the fact families were getting killed left and right. This year would mark the second anniversary of Voldemort's defeat, but at times it felt as though she was still fighting.

She continued on her way towards the Gryffindor common room, separating herself from her brother and the rest of the boys on the way there. She wanted a quite walk, too immersed in her thoughts to pretend to be interested in their silly conversations but her mind kept screaming one thing;

_Harry...Harry...Harry_

Because of course it would. Ginny started to see him more like a cold, he just kept coming back, hunting her with sad looks of longing and deep sighs, showing her exactly how much he missed her and it was so unfair. Why couldn't she be strong? Why did she feel like the week damsel in distress and why on earth was she feeling as though her heart had been ripped from her body, leaving nothing but a cold open hole behind. She was pretty sure she knew what was needed to fill it.

Now, after almost a month of non-conversation with Harry, she didn't know how to make it right. Too much pride and ego to make thing's right, even if he deserved it. The truth was she was shocked. Not from Malfoy, she was a lot stronger than given credit for and compared to the horrors she had witnessed when the Death Eaters really were at large and active, the Malfoy incident was almost nothing in comparison. But it was the shock of realising how _human _he was that got to her. She supposed that was silly, now her head was clear and her initial fear of the 'attack' had lessened out. Ginny reasoned that she still had a right to be angry, and she was, she was furious at Harry, because he knew that she had seen what had happened to her closet friends and she had hopped he could control himself enough not to be angry because it wasn't what she needed, he had spent a whole year learning to control his magic, so why couldn't he control it then. It was like realising your mum wasn't a superhero and that she cried too or that she made mistakes like you did, it was the '_ooh' _feeling, the stupid I-should-of-known-it-all-along-but-it's-it's-still-a-surprise sort of feeling.

She entered the portrait hole, waving quickly to Hermione, not bothering to stay and chat and rushed up the stairs, wanting nothing more than to pack the rest of her belongings and get home as quickly as possible, wanting to feel the familiar and comfortable warmth and surroundings that was The Borrow. Opening the door, Ginny tired to not gasp in surprise when she saw a familiar large black jaguar laying on her bed, it's green eyes penetrating the air and tension that immediately made itself known around them, until it found Ginny eyes.

"What are you doing? You could be seen!" She hissed, angry at his stupidity and slammed the door shut, hoping her room mates were to busy to come upstairs.

The jaguar whimpered pathetically, raising it's big paws over its eyes, echoing the same thing she had done a while ago. Ginny tired not to laugh.

She dropped her prized broom in her trunk carefully and deposited her jacket on a nearby coat hang. The broom had been a birthday gift from Harry the year before, it was a Firebolt, the same as Harry's, and even though he could easily afford the new model, he had kept his old one, for sentimental values.

The large animal followed her with its eyes and when Ginny stood still near the door, not moving, making sure to show both a good amount of hostility and non-caring, the beautiful, animal seemed to huff (if that was at all possible) and reached behind the bed with its head, picking something up with its teeth. Gently getting off her bed, it padded its ways over to Ginny, a white rose in its mouth. Ginny couldn't stop the small smile that came on her face. Harry was waving the white flag – sort of.

She bent down and took it, not scared whatsoever when it opened it's mouth to allow her to extract the flower, showing a full set of powerful teeth that could easily shred her to bits, but Harry wasn't a cannibal so she wasn't exactly worried. He did seem to want to eat her neck sometimes though, considering the many hickeys she had to hide when they use to do their 'friendly' activities, _which_, she thought with a sigh, _she missed very much_.

The large cat made another whimpering sound, finally growing impatient with Ginny's long silences and Ginny quickly 'ssh-ed' it. She kind of liked having this sort of power over Harry, at times he was way to arrogant for his own good. She supposed that's what happened when you grew up with two Marauders, had looks that probably made the God's envious, was insanely powerful and had riches beyond most peoples dreams – yes, at times he could get a little _too_ arrogant and she was always there to knock him back in his place. Which before his third year she needed to do every day, twice a day. _Then he met Cassie and everything changed..._He got worse and she was doing it more frequently than ever before.

"Right, what do you want?"

Harry stood in front of her suddenly, having changed from his animagus form to human in the blink of an eye "Erm...Well..."

Ginny raised her eyebrow, knowing full well she was doing a good job of giving the impression she was looking down on him, despite the obvious fact he was a lot taller.

He cleared his throat "I want you to come to the room of requirement with me"

"Why...?"

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

"Why shouldn't you...?"

"...Harry...look at my face, do I look bothered for this?"

She could tell he had a witty remark on the tip of his tongue but he held it in and she found herself cheering slightly inwardly, if they ever dated, or _when_ (because it seemed inevitable that they would) Harry was sure to become whipped very quickly, he would be putty in her hands and it made a nice change to all the times she felt as though she was putty in _his _hands.

"Look, can you please come? I'll apologise for being an arse, but maybe not for hurting him...but for being an ass..."

She wanted to laugh, they were both being ridiculous, it took more than Malfoy and their egos to tear them apart, she knew it and she was sure Harry knew it deep down too. She wasn't afraid of Malfoy, he could do his worst and she and Harry would still be the best of friends. She was sure to it...

"Fine"

An hour later they Ginny found herself in the room of requirement with Harry, dressed in her work out clothes she always had ready and waiting, pretending to be bored as Harry stood in the middle of the stretched room, probably wondering what to say. She saved him the effort.

"Seriously Potter, stop wasting my time –"

"Okay, okay! Jeez what's with you women?" When Ginny rose an outraged eyebrow and her hands shot to her hips, Harry quickly backtracked "What I meant was 'oh Ginny you wonderful, wonderful! _Woman_, thank you for gracing me with your _fine _company and taking the time out to come talk to me. God bless...women..."

She just managed to hold back the laugh that was rising quickly, but seeing his silly expression felt herself giggling. He chuckled a bit too and she missed the look of intense relief on his face at the sight of her laughing. He inched closer to her and before long he was right in front of her. Ginny's breathing suddenly become rather laboured, she hadn't been this close to him for a while now and the feelings of longing and lust came back to her again, stronger than before. Harry had actually brought her out here to duel with him, because he knew she sometimes needed it when she was feeling particularly angry but right now she seemed to be feeling better and he skipped the chance of getting his ass whooped by Ginny, in favour of telling her how he felt. _Girls like that right?_, he wondered.

"I _am _sorry Gin. I really am. I...I can't sleep, I can barley eat, I can't concentrate in class and I even skipped Quidditch. When have I ever on propose skipped Quidditch Gin?" he carefully reached out and held her face in his hands, his eyes shinning in joy when she didn't cringe away from him. "I've missed you..._so much_..." his voice shone with emotion, his whole manner telling her he was serious. This wasn't the friendship-type I miss you, this was more than that, a deep rooted feeling she didn't recognise, but she obviously could tell he did, because it shone from him to her, like a beam of light on a dark night. And she knew she'd never spoken more true words than she did next.

"I've missed you too" he smiled, his face inching ever more closely, his eyes closing, anticipating the sweet prolonged kiss they both longed for. Ginny did the only thing she thought he deserved.

She sent him her infamous bat bogey hex

* * *

A:N/

**i really am sorry for the long wait, writers block was killing me! i just didn't know what harry should do afterwords and i felt the need to express Hermione and Ginny relationship in this story, you'll see a lot more of how close they are because i feel its important!**

**hopfully the chapters are improving, im working on it! :)**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**

_HyperActiveMonkey_


	7. Love Amoung Friends

_"Friends are needed both for joy and for sorrow"_ -_ Samuel Paterson_

* * *

It took almost fifteen minutes for me to get stupid spell after effects from my face. It took me all my concentration to change into my animagus and not pounce on Ginny straight away (who was no on the floor rolling with laughter) but most of all, it took every single fibre of my being not to jump Ginny and crush her in my arms, mentally going through the ways I could legally keep her with me forever. I didn't cope very well with Ginny not talking to me for a month and I was sure to cope even worse the next time, and there would be a next time considering my statistics with messing things up with her and then when you added her stubborn streak... Yes, we would defiantly fight again.

I pawed my face, growling loudly at her till she noticed me. It was rather comical in a sense, her reaction. She stopped rolling around, took a split second to analysis my position and making her mind up she immediately changed into her tiger. Inwardly I grinned, I could see underneath her calm exterior she did actually need to let of steam, she needed to get angry and aggressive to let out the anger she had tucked away inside of her, I knew her better than she knew herself and it was the same with her to me, so I knew she hadn't really gotten rid of that anger, just dealt with it momentarily before storing it away in an already over used drawer in her mind. With one last growl from me, and a fierce growl from her, the game began.

We raced towards each other, showing our teeth as we did, growling again as the room widen once more, before turning into an endless sand filled desert. Neither of us moved out of the way, our egos returning, I wasn't backing down and I knew she wasn't either. In the last second, I moved a little to the right, bringing my paw to swipe at her face, it made contact and she roared in anger as she fell to the ground a few feet away. She quickly got back up, furious, and I did my best to look as though I was dancing in my tiger form. I wanted to taunt her as much as possible, she hated it when I flaunted the fact I was a much more powerful wizard than her, she absolutely loathed it. In my jaguar form, I could smell her, now as she was righting herself to pounce on me, her back legs about to spring, rippling with strong worked muscles, so much so I found myself almost dizzy with the scent of her. I shook my head and it probably looked stupid on an animal like me and failed to move as she jumped on me, grabbing my neck with her strong jaw and throwing me to the other side of the room.

_That actually really did hurt..._

I held back the groan that threaten to escape me, it would come out as a whimper from the jaguars mouth and she would recognise victory. I wasn't about to give it to her. I shook my head once more and lifted myself up again, growling at her when she did the same sort of dance I did and it did really look ridiculous. I smirked inwardly, I would show her.

I charged at her once more, she spotted this and began to charge at me too. I suddenly jumped, changing mid-air into another animagus. It was difficult, even for me, but I did it and enjoyed the sight of her eyes opening in amazement on the ground, before I fell to the floor with a loud and thunderous thump.

I pulled on my hind legs, straighten myself out and I roared, a wild, earth-shattering roar.

It took a while for her to process what I had done. My lion was majestic, so much so I felt it defined the word and I didn't even care how arrogant that sounded, even in my own mind. Its green eyes shone with intensity, its fur the riches of yellows, oranges and reds, all blended together to create the masterpiece that was my lion animagus. I did a pretty good imitation of smirking, she spotted this and I saw recognition dawning in her eyes. She knew I was boosting. She could only change into two animals, but neither could beat my lion. I was _so_ proud.

I watched as she too changed, but instead of changing into the lioness we had worked together on, she changed back into her human form and not to far away from me stood just about the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life. She raised an eyebrow at me, smirking and lifted her hands in a boxers position, as if she was about to fight me.

_What?_

I changed too, thoroughly confused "Ginny change back!" I shouted to her, for she was still far away from me.

"No!" she shouted back

"What!"

"I said no!" she repeated

"Oh, I know what you said! I just meant 'What – the fuck are you doing!" I shouted at her "wait, does this mean I win?"

"What – I can't hear you!"

"Oh for the love of..." I ran closer, keeping a distance when I saw she that she hadn't backed down from her fighting position, both positively scary and rather arousing too.

"I said, 'does this mean I win'?"

She thought it over quickly "No"

"No?"

"No"

"What do you mean no? You changed! I didn't back down but you changed! Ergo- I win!"

She sighed, the expression on her face similar that to an impatient parent that had to tell their child why the window fogged in the cold. I frowned at her, the patronizing cow!

"Harry, I'm fighting you like this – look no wand, come on!"

She seemed genuinely serious. She wanted to fight me, in my lion form? Was she stupid? I heard myself asking her the same question.

She laughed "No I'm not stupid. So are you fighting me or not? Come on then Potter, change and do your worse" as if to bate me more she showed me the middle finger and stuck her tongue out. _How very Ginny..._

"No, I'm not fighting you like that!"

"No?"

"No!"

She grinned and dropped her hands, her smile victorious. "So I guess I won! Victory to Weasley!"

"What!" I shouted, outraged, the being in me who wanted to be better than everyone else making it's self known "you didn't win!"

"Are you going to fight me?"

"Not until you change!"

"Then I win. The rules where, first person to quit, loses, you never said nothing about fighting only in our animagus. So, _ergo_ I win! Ha!"

I took a step back. Trying to find the loop holes and she watched as I did too, the longer I took the more her face shone in happy triumph. I couldn't fight her human to human because she knew I couldn't bear to hit her physically, it was wrong, it was like killing the good guys in the muggle movies I watched in the holidays and letting the bad guys win. It was just so wrong and the cleaver witch knew it! For once she hadn't minded that I treated her that way, she usually complained that I treated her unfairly because she was a girl. '_Pretend I'm a boy or something!' _she would tell me, but I couldn't, not when she wore her workout clothes which stuck to her like a second skin, emphasising her every curve to my distracted pleasure. Seeing no loophole, for I certainly wouldn't fight her as a lion, I caved.

"Damn it..." I whispered, but she heard and I couldn't stop the smile from breaking out on my face at her happy whoop. I heard her say something about 'Girl Power' before she was edging closer and closer to me as I realised with shock, my body was already doing to her.

We were panting now, our breaths laboured but I wasn't sure whether it was from the animagus activity or the fact the woman I was so desperately in love with was inches away from my face. I thought of stroking her warm cheeks, wanting to watch as she sighed in pleasure at my touch. I had always enjoyed pleasing women, it enlarged my ego and I could admit to it, but there was something different to doing it to Ginny, it was intimate, it was special and it meant everything to me.

I finally took the time over the last month to see how much I had grown. I had never grown up without love, I had always had uncle Padfoot and Mooney to shower me with endless affection and praise and as far back as I could remember Molly and Arthur had loved me like a seventh son. Of course I wished I had my parents, I use to wish it more than anything else in the world, but recently I found the ache in my chest beginning to very slowly dull out, leaving only a faint memory of a past pain. I began to notice the changes that occurred when I was socializing with people and everyone else noticed too. I no longer was the snotty arrogant little child I use to be, I didn't make rude and offences jokes about past dates, I didn't boost about my success; academically, magically and in the amount of women I had been with to the other guys, knowing it made them spitefully jealous. I was a better person, because of Cassie and because of Ginny.

But I was a better person

I was startled out of my thoughts when I realised Ginny was talking

"Hmm?"

She chuckled softly "I said 'what are you thinking about?'- you look so peaceful"

I was tempted to tell her I was thinking of her and the man I had become because of her, but I choose for the simple option "Chocolate – I'm really hungry for chocolate" I told her, pretending to groan and rubbing my stomach dramatically like I hadn't been fed for weeks.

She laughed "You've been hanging around Ron a bit _too_ much"

I nodded my head in agreement and we both walked out of the room, underneath the safety of my invisibility clock.

*~*~*

I slumped into the Gryffindor squishy chairs the following day, my packing done and ready. Of course, _I_ wasn't very good a packing but magic and a few choice words certainly where. I felt Hermione occupy the sofa in front of me and feeling both extremely happy and affectionate I got up and dropped on the side next to her, placing my arms on her shoulders and bringing her closer to me, placing a soft tender kiss on her head.

"Hi Harry" she whispered, her voice clearly telling me she was surprised by my display of gentleness

"Hey 'Mione, feeling okay?"

She looked up at me, her head resting on my cheek "Yes. I'm very okay"

"Good, good" we sat in silence for a while, the common room empty, everyone in their bed or packing. I suddenly felt a rush of memories erase all other thoughts, until I couldn't take it anymore and had to say something "I've realised I've never really apologised"

She looked up at me again "apologised? For what...did you still my quills again?"

I laughed, rising an eyebrow and laughing all the more when she portrayed a look of fake outrage "No and I said sorry about that! No, I'm sorry for all those years ago...you know, when I treated you really badly"

Her face turned surprised but then a soft smile played on her face "Don't worry Harry; I forgave you a long time ago. You've more than made up for it since then anyway-"

"No, no. I mean I was horrible, even Ron, who was more insensitive than me at the time, thought I'd gone too far. It took a longer than it should have for me to apologise, so...I'm sorry"

Her smile grew a bit but her eyes remained soft. She turned so she was facing me and ran her hand through my hair making it messier than it already was and I smiled at her, acknowledging the gesture. Ginny did that a lot and I supposed Hermione was compensating for the fact Ginny was upstairs now, packing and not sitting down next to me. "Now you listen to me Harry James. I wasn't the first friend you hugged, I wasn't the first one you sat on this very sofa with and cuddled and I wasn't the one you ran to when you were upset. It was Ginny-"

I made a notion as if to interrupt but stopped myself, it looked like she needed to let this out "For a long time I really, _really_, didn't like you. Because yes, you where mean and arrogant and I couldn't stand you, but when you and Ron saved me from that troll everything changed. When you and I went to catch Pettigrew with the time turner and Ron couldn't come, you protected me. All those other things Harry, that we shouldn't ever have had to face, we did. We came out of it on top and whatever you had said to me before didn't matter because I know you love me like I love you. It doesn't need to be said"

Her face looked as though it been lifted of a weight and I felt guilty for not have given her the opportunity to have let it out earlier. I kissed her temple softly and hugged her tighter to me.

"I love you a hell of a lot Granger, but I love Ginny like you love Ron. I know you know that, but I love you all the same... okay you skinny chicken?"

She laughed softly and nodded her head, elbowing me slightly and grinned when I grunted in response.

A few minutes later the moment came to an abrupt end when Ron appeared on the stairs, pretending to be hurt at the way Hermione was snuggling up to me. We had both laughed and I watched, happily, as she jumped up and went over to kiss Ron, laughing harder when his ears turned a famous Weasley red.

"Hey, did you hear about Malfoy?" Ron suddenly asked, a bright smile appearing on his face

I felt myself tense and my eyes begin to turn charcoal black, but before any of them could notice, I made myself relax. Coughing, I asked as casually as I could "What about Malfoy?"

Ron looked at me as though I'd grown an extra head "You mean you don't know? It's bloody brilliant Harry; the gits mum has transferred him to another school!"

I didn't really know what to say to that. The first feeling I felt was anger. I didn't think, if I lived to the ripe old age of one-hundred and fifty, that I would ever be able to stop wanting to pummel Malfoy and now that he had moved away, I wouldn't be able to do any such joyous activity. But, on the other hand, he was far away from Ginny and I wouldn't be pulling the map out of my bag at the most random of times, frantically searching the castle for Ginny's name and immediately making sure to see if Malfoy was near by. I didn't think I was being paranoid, just protective.

I shook my head when I realised Hermione was talking, a delighted Ron placing her on his lap "Yes, apparently the person who was committing all the attacks on Malfoy where getting worse and worse, and since Dumbledore couldn't find the culprit, she's taken him away"

"Are you upset 'Mione?!" Ron asked, pretending to be hurt

She shook her head and quickly made a joke about the Cannons, setting Ron off on a long winded speech on the increasing chances they had on winning the league, if not this year, next's.

I quickly realised why Hermione hadn't elaborated. I was sure Hermione hated Malfoy as much as I did, with the same passion too. But I knew if she had told Ron anymore, her face would twist into a non-characteristically hateful look, a face I hadn't known Hermione was able to make in all the years I had known her. I was sure even Ron would pick up on it, and then the questions would come and with the questions came the answers neither of us could give him – we had promised Ginny.

I laughed when they begin to bicker. Only Ron and Hermione could turn a playful, teasing conversation into something to argue about.

Shaking my head, I jogged away to a set of stairs behind a portrait of a griffin, which lead to a separate common for the head boy and girl, whispered the password and glanced over my shoulders as the door closed behind me. For once I wasn't to sure on what to do. I could read I supposed, but I wasn't ever the type to _really_, really enjoy a book. I'd never had the time to sit down and do it. There was always something in my life to keep me away from that supposed beauty, but now I did have time.

I walked over to Hermione's part of the bookshelf, knowing she wouldn't mind much. I skimmed the academic books, which there where a lot of, until I found the fiction end. Grabbing the first book I spotted, I jogged over to the sofa, stretched myself on it, opened the book and began to read.

~*~*~

An hour later and I was still immersed with the book. In my lifetime I had been asked many times to mention the different books I had supposedly read, people usually wondered how I had came to become so powerful, that was before they would notice my scar and the stupid look of realisation flickered across so vividly on their faces, their shocked expressions when I told them I didn't read where actually rather funny. I was born with my powers, they where both a blessing and a curse but I finally realised why Hermione enjoyed reading so much and while I would never mention to Ron, or any other person I found myself enjoying the book very much.

I found my eyes turning back to the page I was reading, the story almost finished. I was still so immersed in the story I didn't notice when someone crept up behind me and placed their hands over my eyes.

"Guess who?" a voice whispered in my ears, sending small invisible chills to run down my spine

I quickly closed the book, hiding it from view and smiled. I knew that voice, I could recognise that voice above everyone else's in the world, but I also knew those hands, soft as silk but calloused too, from all the Quidditch over the years.

I moaned seductively, holding back a smile when I felt the hands twitch "..._Romilda..._"

I laughed when I heard an outraged gasp, followed quickly by a playful cuff to my head. I moaned in protest but soon found myself being sat on by Ginny, her back to my chest, her head resting comfortably underneath my chin. I found my arms encircling her almost of their own free will, my body humming in pleasure.

There was a moments silence till: "Harry, thank you"

I didn't need to ask why she was thanking me, so I just nodded my head, knowing she could feel it and quickly set about to hold her closer to me. I was reluctant to bring up Malfoy, we hadn't really spoken but I felt as though their was nothing to speak about, we had done it in our own way, by duelling each other, teasing each other mercilessly and embracing one another as often as possible. I knew it was what she needed because she'd sigh happily. Ginny would probably never admit it, but she loved the embraces more than anything. I placed a soft kiss on her head, inhaling her unique scent.

"So... have you packed everything?" I asked, wanting to change the mood into something lighter.

"Yeb and I've also noticed you 'packed' as well. Couldn't believe it when Hermione told me"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, feigning offense "I can pack!"

"Sure, Harry, sure"

I growled playfully, enjoying the easy banter that always existed so naturally between us and the giggles that erupted from her as I did so. I looked down to find her chocolate brown eyes staring at me with an intensity that scared me a little, an emotion creeping up behind them. An emotion I now knew too well. I felt my eyes shift to her mouth, delicious and mouth-watering as it was, and slowly I found that she was beginning to inch closer to me as I was to her. Her eye's closing in anticipation at what was to come and I didn't hold back any longer.

My lips pressed against hers as her sigh of relief made its self known. My hands immediately coming to place itself at her waist, as she ran her hand through my hair, the kiss deepened. I felt her tongue against my lower lip, asking for entrance which I granted. She moaned, deep in her throat as my tongue won dominance over hers, twisting and turning together perfectly, at the same time, as if they where dancing together to some tune.

Suddenly everything became heated. How did a tender kiss now become full of heat, lust and longing so quickly? An unquenchable thirst rose in my throat and in my heart. Something calling out to me, telling me to claim her as my own, in the same way that I was now hers. I felt myself push her back towards the sofa, stretching out on it, my body half on top of hers as she ravaged me completely.

By now my hair was a mess, more so than usual, and my hands had strayed from her waist to her hair and back down, grazing the sides of her soft delicate breast with each rising and falling of her chest. I moved my mouth from her lips, to her jaw, kissing and tasting every part of her I could reach. When I thought her moans couldn't get louder, I sucked underneath her throat, where I knew she was most sensitive. Our loud moans of pleasure brought us out of the little dream we had.

We pulled out, her face still millimetres away from mine, her breath brushing my face with each breath she drew. I tried to control my own breathing, my chest rising and falling as though I'd been running for several minutes and with her still so close by I doubted it would return to normal anytime soon.

"Too fast..." I breathed out

"Way to fast" she replied

My eyes locked on hers as the stupidity of our words hit home. My mind screamed how bloody _slow_ it actually all was. I stared into her eyes as our breaths continued to speed ahead, dark green eyes on gold chocolate brown and suddenly I'd twisted her against the sofa, my mouth on hers frantically as she ran her hands any where she could reach. I pressed my body into hers, enjoying her whimpers as she felt how hard I was, pent up from the usual teenage sexual frustration. Right now I felt like the the peasant in love with its Queen.

A Mortal in love with the Goddess

She was everything to me; my moon, my sun, the flowers that shone in the summer, the clear white snow in the winter. As my mind ran out of stupid corny adjectives and I felt my body press even more intimately to hers, I heard her groan, but not in pleasure.

"Aaragh!"

I lifted myself of her in shock. Not exactly the response I was looking for. After all, I wasn't one of these people particularly turned on by spanking and such. I felt myself shiver for a second, remembering a conversation Seamus had come up with one morning. I looked over at her, my eyes widening as she sat up against the coach, a familiar book in her hand.

She rubbed her back, an adorable frown gracing her face. She took one look at the offending book and then one look into my guilty, wide eyed face and gasped.

"Harry, you've been reading..." she turned the book around, probably already knowing what it was but wanting to confirm her suspicions all the same "_Jane Austin_? _Pride and Prejudice_?"

I wondered briefly how she knew about the muggle book but felt like hitting my head when I realised Hermione was _her _friend too.

I ran my hand through my hair nervously knowing she was enjoying watching me squirm, most likely printing this particular moment into her brain forever "eer...yeah see I can explain that..."

She raised an eyebrow as if to say "_Really?" _in that mocking way only females seemed to be able to do. But I found that I didn't really have anything to say, no real defence, so I shut up and waited for the ridicule that was to come. I was a man, I could take it...

Surprisingly enough, it didn't come

"So, what did you think?" she said, crossing her legs and folding her arms, the book placed on her lap, her eyes showing curiosity and the bit of mischievousness she always possessed. I blinked twice and tried not to show how relived I was, once again running my hand through my hair, messing it up even more.

"well..." I coughed, trying to stall "I thought it was...good"

She smiled wide. It was obvious she was about to make me engage in what was probably a conversation involving analysing the characters completely and rhetorically questioning out loud as to _why_ they did the thing's they did, before answering the questions ourselves. . How did I know all of this? I'd seen Hermione and Ginny having this conversation about another book not to long ago. I could admit it - I was worried.

She shook her head as if I was crazy "it's not just _good _Harry, its brilliant. Her story line is great, she's created characters that have lasted years and years and her style of writing is superb. Elizabeth Bennet is a great character, and while Mr. Darcy was a git at first, he turned out all right"

For the strangest reason I felt defensive, as though I needed to defend the character "Wait, that's a bit harsh, I mean, Elizabeth is all well and whatever but Mr. Darcy was just looking out for his friend"

"Yes, but he was a git in the beginning. I mean, how arrogant is he to act all 'upper class' and then after a while assume that Elisabeth will marry him straight away?"

I shook my head and noticed how her eyes shone, eagerly awaiting to hear my counter argument, just so she'd have something smarter to say back "What? Arrogant? It's Elizabeth who is arrogant by _assuming_ she's sussed everyone out by knowing them for one stupid ball"

We traded arguments back and forth, each time the argument become that little bit harder to counter, our stances become more relaxed. My back lay against one end of the sofa while she laid on the other, her legs still crossed, her arms in front of her, moving as she explained her point. The book now lay in between us like a barrier between our different opinions.

An hour later we finally called it quits. The night now shone outside the windows in the common room, the stars twinkling in the sky as if they where happy that she was now talking to me as much as I was. I could hear the faint sound of the whomping willow moving somewhat and the howl of a wolf, replaced quickly by the bark of a dog.

I smiled into the darkness, my arms wrapped around the only woman I had ever loved as I held her close, praying that some miracle would keep me from messing it up. I felt her snuggle into me, as if she was trying to get closer to me even in her sleep. The fire in the common had burned out, telling me it was time to go to bed, the train would arrive at Hogsmeade station in the morning and I would be going home, to Grimmauld place and then to The Borrow, getting ready for Remus' fast approaching wedding. As gently as I could I lifted the sleeping girl into my arms, moving her around so she was as comfortable as possible. I smiled as I headed up towards a set of stairs; Hermione had come back late, her hair somewhat messy and a half-glazed look in her eyes. I'd bet Ron had return to his dormitory late too.

I waved my hand, changing her clothes into comfortable red pyjamas, letting her show her Gryffindor pride. I opened the door quietly to Hermione's room, finding her sitting on her bed, the candle by her bed lit a book in her arms. She spotted me carrying a sleeping Ginny, gave me a smile and opened the covers on the other side of the bed. I felt my heart glow in warmth, feeling the little bit of the harshly chipped parts of it beginning to smooth. No matter the horrors I had seen in my life, watching the friendship between Hermione and Ginny, so tender and careful, also soothed me. I watched, a small smile on my face, as Hermione tucked Ginny in, before blowing out the candle and getting to bed too, hugging her best friend to her side before drifting of to sleep. I shut the door quietly after myself, returning to my room, knowing that in fifty years time, those two would still be the best of friends.

~*~*~

* * *

**Hey, I'm really sorry about the late update, life has been crazy and busy and it's going to continue for the next few months :P but i'll do my best to update sooner, i promise**

**thank you so much for all the reviews though! **

**Next chapters things will build up and all shall be revealed about cassie soon!**

_HyperActiveMonkey_


	8. The Memories We hold On To

_"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called __memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams."_ - Jeremy Iron

* * *

_What Goes Around Comes Around  
_

The Memories We hold On To

I woke up slowly, rubbing sleep from my eyes and groaning when I spotted my hair in the mirror, it was _Potter_ messy. Slowly I lifted myself off the comfortable bed and slipped into a pair of black silk pyjama bottoms, before trudging downstairs, bare footed and shirtless.

The atmosphere at Grimmauld place was like it had always been as far back as I could remember. The rooms sang of joyous Christmas mornings, party with friends and lavish expenses on the different paintings and furniture that decorated the house beautifully. I knew that in fact there was a much darker history to the house but Sirius had refused that it to stay that way. Entering the kitchen I was surrounded by a flurry of activity. Uncle Remus was being kissed and cuddled by Tonks, who was going to be leaving soon to her parent's house, along with Aunt Lexy who'd go too. I wasn't particularly sure why, something about the females wanting to have some girl time before the wedding, but I thought that was what the hen night was for? Regardless, Tonks and Lexy would be gone for a week, they'd come back on a Saturday, have their hen night and then the wedding would be the following day. I tired not to laugh at the way Uncle Remus' face looked sour at the mere thought of Tonk's going away for that long. I sat down heavily on the stool in the Kitchen, smiling softly at Lexy when I saw her rubbing her tummy in wonder. She was really big now and it wouldn't be long before the little kid in there popped out. She noticed me looking and shot me a huge, happy smile.

Lexy, whose real name was Alexis, had long flowing straight black hair and shiny grey eyes that held such intensity like you wouldn't believe. She was a reasonable height, but beautiful all the same. She had to be for Uncle Sirius to have noticed her in the first place. She had the aura of someone who was not to be messed about with; a senior position in the Auror department was proof of that. Now that she was pregnant she looked positively radiant with beauty. Sirius didn't go a day without telling her that she was beautiful, even when she complained that she had fat ankles and looked like a whale. Personally I thought she just looked as though she had stuffed two large basketballs under her shirts, but I doubted that would be any better than her whale comment. But Sirius was absolutely smitten with her, he was so in loved with her and she was so deserving of him, making sure to love him but also to put him in his place when the time called for it that over the years she had become a real family member to all of us. She was a permanent fixture in my heart.

A faint 'pop' signalled the arrival of Dobby and shook me out of my musings "Good Morning, Harry Sir, anything you'd like?"

I smiled at the elf, happy to have saved him all those years ago "just toast and some juice please Dobby"

The elf nodded, bowed somewhat and left, a toothy grin on his face. He was happy too.

I felt someone sit down next to me and I turned to smile happily at my Godfather. He gave me a cheeky grin and hugged me to him before turning his attention to his wife, rubbing her stomach lovingly when she sat down, a proud ecstatic smile gracing his face. For a moment I got lost in all of it, the happy couples, the cheerful free elf and the general family mood that surrounded everyone. I knew if people were to look at Sirius and Remus they wouldn't see anything but two extremely happy men, content with the way their life was heading and looking forward to the future that was coming. Looking now at Uncle Sirius, whispering sweet words in to the ears of his wife, you'd never have thought he'd suffered growing up, you'd never have thought he'd lost two brothers, one of blood the other of friendship or that one of his closets friend had betrayed him. You'd never thought the guilt of picking Peter as secret keeper still haunted him, 17 yeas later.

My eyes shifted to watch Uncle Remus as toast appeared before me. Grabbing the nearest one and nibbling at it, I watched as he suddenly tugged Tonks and hugged her to him, kissing her lovingly as she melted into him. I shook my head softly, no, no one would think he use to be an unhappy man or that had it not been for Sirius his life would have been so much more heart-breaking. I owed everything to those two men, it couldn't have been easy for two bachelors to take care of their best friend's baby, but they managed, well, at least I think they did – I turned out fine.

I continued to munch on my toast; giving Tonk's a smile as she appeared before me.

She gave me a small kiss on the cheek and ruffled my already messy hair "Hey Harry"

I smiled wider, shaking my head; _she was never going to grow up_ "Hey Tonky, you going then?"

She laughed and cuffed me across the back of my head gently "Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

I pretended to think "nope"

She chuckled "You use to be so cute when you were younger,_ Tonky _this and _Tonky _that. Now look at you!"

I grumbled in response and pouted but stood up to give her a hug, she hugged me back, pulling away to place a kiss on my head "Now, go change before Molly comes and scolds you for lack of clothing" I turned to leave, shooting her a wink as I did but stopped when I felt her grab my hand "And Harry? Behave at the wedding; I don't want to hear about you running of with half my female cousins...well...the _good_ half"

I laughed and winked seductively, exaggerating it. She rolled her eyes and headed towards the door. I quickly bid Aunt Lexy goodbye, leaning down to kiss her stomach and raced upstairs, eagerly awaiting to head over to The Borrow.

As I placed my trunk in the back of my car, a 911 Porsche Boxster (a car I wasn't allowed to drive) and jumped in, barley noticing Sirius who was driving me there, I felt a sudden sea of memories bombard my mind. I briefly registered the scenery as we drove towards the Weasley's residence or the silence of two people lost in their own thoughts.

0o0o0o0o0o0

_Two men and a small boy began to walk through the gates, the boy clutching his bag in reassurance. As they passed the Pig hen and gazed up at the wonky house, the little boy tired not to judge. The small group stopped outside the door of the house, one man, with a tired face and a feint scar running down the left side of his face smiled towards the field behind him, as if remembering a good memory. The other man, handsome and dignified with a mischievous look about him suddenly placed his hand in a comforting gesture on the boys shoulder, trying to remind himself that the boy wasn't his deceased best friend nor a reincarnation of him, but his son. Harry, not James Potter, continue to look upon the house, uncertain. _

_"Okay Harry now remember, Mr and Mrs. Weasley have agreed to let you stay for a couple of days, they've been very kind so try to behave yourself" _

_The other man now looked at the boy too, a small smile on his face, allowing the other man to be the stern parent for once_

_Harry let out a loud sigh "Do I have too?"_

_The handsome man, Sirius nodded "Yes. Now when I say behave I mean-"_

_"No Pranking" the boy interrupted, having heard this speech as long as he could remember, but never having to have fully stuck to it "And no flaunting the fact I'm rich, blah blah blah" _

_"Yes that and no play fighting"_

_The boy looked as though he was going to protest but nodded, the other man laughed, spotting the fake look of innocence the boy had suddenly plastered on his face_

_"Harry..." Sirius wined "Please squirt? Remus and I have to go on the Auror trip, we'll be back as soon as we can. Who knows, you might find you really like the Weasley's" _

_The boys face showed exactly how much he thought of that statement and with a little bit of arrogance and fear the boy stepped forward as Sirius tapped on the door._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The wind blew against my hair as I pulled the window down; a favourite song of Sirius's playing in the background. I almost wanted to laugh, 5 years old, so young yet already so full of myself and I had every right to be, I had been brought up like royalty. But the song Uncle Padfoot was playing was funny too.

We didn't live that far away from the Weasley's, especially not with how fast the car could go and of course we could have apparated, that would of taken less than a second or so but there was nothing better than driving with good company, the top down and the weather clear and beautiful, thank God for self-warming charms though because the English winter could quickly turn from cold to _ice _cold. I laughed softly at the disapproving look an old women shot at us, I supposed it must have looked funny, two men in an expensive posh car with nothing more than a jumper and light jacket on between them in the freezing cold weather of the English December afternoon.

I hoped Sirius would finally allow me to drive my stupid sports car. He'd grounded me from it after I went around picking girls up and taking them home...but in all honestly he did seem kind of proud of me and had a sort of reluctant look about him when he laid down the rules. That had been three months ago (it was a _lot _of girls) it was before the school started and before I realised I didn't want to go picking up any random girl. I wanted _the_ girl.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_A 6 year old Harry Potter had been coming to the Weasley's for the last year, he was a regular, had already established a best friend status with the second youngest, Ron and was already part of Molly Weasley's family._

_The one person Harry seemed most intrigued to talk to was Ginny. Ginny Weasley in all the time he'd been at The Borrow had barley talked to him, he'd tried at first but had given up after a while. He didn't know what it was; he didn't understand why her face would turn a brilliant shade of red when she spotted him, or a Weasley red as he'd begun to call it. He didn't understand why the older boys sniggered like something amused them greatly when she did this – he never told anyone about the butter dish incident! He'd promised to her. She hadn't responded to that either but he knew she had been grateful._

_He walked along the grass of the Borrow gardens. Ron had gone with his brothers to see them buy their new brooms and Harry had waited with Mrs. Weasley, being to lazy to go along with them. Not for the first time he wondered where the youngest Weasley was._

_It wasn't long before he came upon it, a tree seemingly as old as earth itself stood against the others, more majestic and grander than every other. On it were several pieces of strong wood, hammered and magically made into what Harry realised, was a tree house. It still needed paint but it looked fantastic. Having nothing else to do he started climbing the made up stairs._

_Harry finally reached the top, his arms hurting from all the lifting, the tree never seemed to end and he imagined that if he did this every day for the rest of his life he'd probably end up with superman muscles. Somewhat winded, he gave one finally push and heaved himself onto the three, rolling inwards and sending out a very girly like scream when he realised he wasn't alone._

_"What you doing in my tree house?" someone demanded, the voice sounding annoyed, with a jolt Harry realised it was Ginny._

_For a minute he was so shocked that she was even speaking to him that he didn't answer, but finding his manners returning, he coughed and sat down, his back towards the wood, far away from the 'door' of the tree house "I just wanted to see what was up here, I...hope you don't mind?" _

_She huffed "well, it's _my _tree house but I suppose its okay"_

_He smiled at her, wanting her to smile back, when she didn't, he said "So, umm...how come you're up here?" _

_She frowned at him again, raising her head high. Harry wanted to laugh out loud; she was being herself more in those few minutes than she'd been the whole year he'd known her. "Well the boy's didn't want me to go with them and I really wanted to go! I like Quidditch too you know!"_

_"You do?" Harry asked, he couldn't picture someone like her liking Quidditch, he'd only been allowed to really play this year, beside she was a girl!_

_"Yes I do! And I can play really well thank you very much"_

_He laughed softly but not in the mocking way, finding a way to communicate with the puzzling girl via Quidditch. And they talked, and talked and talked, till Mrs. Weasley's voice was heard from a distance away, calling out to them, telling them dinner was ready. They raced to the house, laughing non-stop as they pushed and shoved each other on the way there._

_From that day on Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley become the best of friends._

0o0o0o0o0o0

I smiled fondly at the memory; it was unbelievable how much she had changed my life. It wasn't always a smooth ride being her friend but I supposed it wasn't easy to be mine either. Yes it was natural and easy a lot of the time too but we had fought so many times I think we both wondered if it was at all normal. I felt the familiar clench in my stomach as the remembered the real first fight we had ever had.

0o0o0o0o0o0

_Ginny Weasley was furious. _

_No, stuff that, she was beyond furious_

_The arrogant little toe-rag, who the hell did Potter think he was? She stomped her way up the grand staircase, not bothering to even smirk in pleasure as people ran away from her, not daring to face her wrath, many feeling sorry for the person who it would be unleashed on. Taking a short cut Harry had taught her long ago, it wasn't long before she found herself in the Gryffindor common room. Ignoring Hermione's pleading face and the rest of the occupants in the common room, she turned to face Harry, who was sitting on the chair, his work out in front of him, the perfect picture of ease. As if to taunt her, he laid his hands behind his head and put his feet up on the table._

_"Yes Ginny?" Harry asked innocently, too innocently._

_Ginny briefly noticed Hermione giving him a death glare and subtly shaking her head at him, but he either didn't notice or chose not to. _

_"Yes Ginny? That's all you got to say you...you..."_

_"Aw Gin, what's the matter?"_

_Ginny was fuming, she wanted nothing more than to wipe the smirk of his face "don't Gin me! You know exactly what you did. Apologise!" _

_He stood up calmly and walked to face her, standing only a few feet away. Ginny noted that he was in slapping distance and it seemed Hermione did also because she let out a small groan and looked around for Ron, who was currently still in detention._

_"Aragh! You know what you did! You hexed Michael because he was talking to me-"she put on a perfect imitation of Harry's voice, making sure to make him sound winey and childish "his practically cheating on his girlfriend, you said. I don't like the way he looks at you, you said. Yet you go and snog Cho when she's dating Cedric!"_

_By now the whole common room watched in eager anticipation, nobody had seen Harry and Ginny fight; they usually had small petty arguments but made out rather quickly. If only people had known this was the first of many fights to come._

_Harry glanced at Hermione's face, trying to see if he'd get any support, finding none he sighed. "Yeeeeeah...so?" _

_"So? So, you're such a filthy hypocrite Harry! Who the hell are you to tell me who I can and cannot talk to?" _

_Now Harry's patience was wearing, she wasn't the only one with a quick temper and he wasn't about to be made a fool out of in front of the whole common room. "Ginny shut up"_

_SLAP_

_It came to quick for him to have ducked. The sound resounded, seeming to bounce from wall to wall, drowning out the gasp's of the shocked nosy housemate's. Hermione closed her eyes wearily._

_He slowly brought his head to the position it was before. Glaring angrily at her, his hand twitched for his wand but thinking better of it he chose instead to give her another smirk, knowing it would irritate her more than anything. It worked because he soon found himself being slapped again._

_"Ouch! That hurt!" he complained, rubbing his cheek_

_"Good!" she screamed at him, her hands flying all over the place "you're just so...so annoying!" _

_He smirked again, watching her hands carefully, ignoring the fire that burned behind her eyes as he did "Okay, since your finished here, am off for a nap. Bye"_

_He turned and began to walk away and it was this more than anything else that made Ginny angrier; she hated his quick dismissal of her "Fuck you Potter" she shouted at him, ignoring Hermione once more who looked disapproving at her choice of words. Harry kept walking. _

_"That's why no one really like's you! You're so messed up in your head you need to find some sort of love in the girls you mess around with!" she shouted at him once more, her voice loud "Your weak Potter! Your weak and pathetic"_

_He turned slowly to face her and walked towards her, his face now angry, a small tint of black forming in the edges of his intense green eyes "Weak you say? Pathetic?" he laughed, cruel and cold, a somewhat sinister smile on his face._

_"I'm not the one who was best friends with Riddle! I'm not the one who had a crush on Voldemort! Its you who's pathetic Ginny, your the hypocrite, not me. So please, spare me your bullshit!"_

_The reaction was almost automatic. Ginny clenched her fist and punched him straight on the jaw. _

_She didn't register the outraged gasps, the looks of shocked disbelief that Harry was given or the blistering angry look that suddenly appeared on Hermione's face. He fell to the floor and covered his face with his hands. Ginny shot him one brief look, stepped over him and walked towards the girl's staircase, all the while fighting to hold back the tears that threatened to escape. _

3 months later...

_Harry was exhausted. Scrubbing every cauldron in Snape's room without magic did that to a person. Groaning, he closed the door behind him quickly, not wanting to give Snape an excuse to keep him back another hour, just like he had done three hours ago when Harry had given him _cheek.

Hate that man_, he thought angrily as he trudged his way through the Dungeons and towards a secret staircase that lead to Gryffindor Tower. _

_It had been three whole months. Three months of utter misery, the only way he distracted himself was to dig into his school work, though it gained an approving look from Hermione, who frowned at him all the other times, it hadn't really meant anything. He was already top of the class. Three months and Harry hadn't realised just how _hard_ it was going to be, had he known he'd of taken his head out of his arse and apologised in the straight away._

_Ron had been furious with Harry at first and didn't talk to Harry for plenty of weeks, there was even a point were _no one _seemed to be talking to Harry. Ron didn't appreciate the 'Riddle' or the 'Voldemort' insults to Ginny but he was now talking to Harry, not because Harry looked as though he was remorseful, but instead because he probably realised Harry hadn't really meant it, Harry could pretend he didn't care to everyone else but Ron knew him better than that. And besides, Ron had been Harry's friend for too long now; it felt strange to not talk to him, however undeserving Harry was._

_Hermione on the other hand hadn't said a word to him whatsoever. she still sat with him, and gave him the sort of look that said 'do your work' or 'shut up the teachers coming' but she hadn't spoken a word and he supposed he was okay with that, after all she was Ginny's best friend even if she was his too. The thing that hurt him most about all of it was the fact Ginny seemed absolutely fine with them falling out, as if nothing had happened whatsoever, as if it didn't affect her at all. _But_, he supposed, _she's just as good at acting as I am_. He'd seen the look sometimes when she was alone and could no longer hide it. There was a pain echoed deep on it, set on every line and curve of her face. He knew that look, because it was the same look he got when he glanced in the mirror. Both of them too stubborn and proud too show it to others. _

_He stepped into an empty corridor and smiled somewhat. This was the corridor that all the Gryffindor's went to and snogged, he was sure when the castle had been built the broom closet had been built exactly for that reason. A place where teens could let out _some_ of their sexual frustrations, there wasn't room for anything else. Well, there was, you just needed a willing partner. He passed a broom closet and tried not to laugh when he heard the sounds that came from it. Suddenly he stopped, a giggle erupting from the closet again and a voice following soon after, he would have carried walking had he not recognised that voice. _

_Ginny_

_He quickly stepped into the shadow as the door opened slowly, glaring angrily at the figure that came out. Michael Corner stepped out, followed by Ginny, she quickly adjusted her school blouse and he did his, all the time giggling and stealing shy glances at each other, unaware of the person in the corner who wished for nothing more than a lightening bolt to appear from the sky and pelt the snotty idiotic boy. For a spilt second he wondered if he was referring to himself._

_They both finished and quickly stealing a kiss from Ginny, Michael sped of towards his dormitory. Ginny stayed behind, seemingly to collect herself and was about to walk to the Gryffindor common room when Harry couldn't hold it in any longer. In a few blinks Harry had crossed the space from the shadow to Ginny, hearing her gasp somewhat before frowning, he suddenly shoved her back in the cupboard and followed soon after, shutting the door behind them loudly. He prayed inwardly that she hadn't her wand on her, though she probably did._

_She was glaring at him, daring him to explain, he quickly put his hands over her mouth, keeping her from shouting the profanities he knew she was about too and lit his wand, light bouncing of the small enclosed space "Ssh! Listen Gin, I'm sorry. I am so, so, so, so sorry. Please, I didn't mean anything I said and please. I'm sorry"_

_Harry stared into her eyes as she stared straight back, his hand was still covering her mouth, he was surprised she'd let him talk for even that long. She raised an eyebrow at him._

_He coughed "and...I'm sorry for taking so long to say it but look at me Ginny. I am sorry" he tired to show her how sincere he was, hoping desperately it wasn't too late and their eight year friendship wasn't down in the gutter. She raised the other eyebrow at him, her face had thankfully softened somewhat and her hands, which were lying on her side innocently, weren't twitching anymore. More than likely to the wand I was sure she had, it wouldn't be the first Bat Bogey hexed she'd shot him but he was still so tired he wouldn't have handled it well, let alone put up much of a defence._

_Noticing her raised eyebrow, he continued "....sorry?" she shook her head at him once and he sighed "Sorry for being an arrogant pig who needs to be put in his place every once in a while?" Harry wondered out loud to which she nodded. He had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time he said that sentence._

_He carefully took his hand away from her mouth. He wasn't going to mention the fact he saw her kissing Michael, he supposed it was okay now considering Michael had been dumped by his girlfriend three weeks ago. He tired not to laugh at the thought, it had been Harry's fault that Michael no longer had a girlfriend, she had been too busy snogging Harry to bother with Michael. _

_Ginny let out a breath "You forgot something"_

_"...Yeah?" Harry asked carefully_

_She grabbed his shoulders, harder than necessary and kneed him straight in the privates. Harry's groans of pain almost drowned out what she said next. "You forgot to say that you were an insensitive little shit and that Ginny Weasley will kick your ass the next time you _ever_ say that to her again" _

_She patted his head patronisingly as he laid on his knees, cupping himself protectively, his face pained. She bent down and kissed his temple slowly "I've missed you Harry" and walked out of the closet, shutting it behind her, leaving him in the sudden darkness as she took his wand, preventing him from casting any kind of pain-relief to his 'boys'._

_His face still consorted in pain, he grimaced "I've missed you too"_

0o0o0o0o0o0

She had made me wear an 'I love Ginny Weasley' t-shirt for a whole week and she'd even taken the liberty of dyeing my hair, bright neon green, for two weeks. On the second week, she taken mercy on me and allowed me to put it back to the way it was. I hadn't known how much I had come to miss my black hair.

"Were almost there" Sirius' voice floated over to me as the greens, yellows and browns of the countryside began to be replaced by dirty greys, billboard reds and every other colour of the city. I sighed happily, smiling when I spotted an old couple sitting by a park bench. As the car turned a corner I saw the older man lean over and kiss the women softly on the cheek, she looked back at him and brought his hand up to her chest, holding it there.

0o0o0o0o0o0

_6th year..._

_Harry sat down heavily on the squishy chair in the Gryffindor common room one cold December morning. Everyone had gone off to Hogsmeade, including Ron and Hermione who were happily spending some quality time together. Ginny hadn't gone, choosing instead to stay behind with him. Right now she was probably on her way back from the kitchens, having gone down there quickly to drink a mug of hot chocolate. Harry stared at the fire, wondering if the happiness of defeating Voldemort just a few months ago would ever set in. He supposed it wouldn't, his mind was still to busy playing Cassie when he went to sleep. He sighed tiredly; he didn't want to think about her today, despite the fact he knew he deserved the pain and a million times more. He looked up when the portrait opened and Ginny entered, spotting him she quickly sat her self on his lap, his arms automatically placing themselves on her waist. She swivelled till she was sitting across from him and laid her head on the crook of his neck and he placed a soft kiss on her head._

_The common room was thankfully empty, most students either in Hogsmeade or enjoying the snow outside. He gently squeezed her hip "what's wrong?"_

_She took a minute to respond, letting out a long sigh "Do you believe in heaven and hell?" she asked._

_He started at her for a bit, wondering were the random question had come from but she wouldn't look at him, choosing instead to stay tucked into his neck. He wondered if she felt embarrassed by asking the question. She probably did. "Why the sudden question? Are you turning religious on me Ginny?" he asked playfully_

_Harry tired not to tell her how _he_ had turned religious not too long ago. It wasn't the right time. She shook her head but remained silent, obviously wanting him to answer her question. _

_He knew he had to be careful with the answer._

_"I believe in both yes. I think Voldemort is now where he belongs, along with the Hitler's and all the other bastards that deserve to be in Hell-"She gave him a funny look "oh, muggle bad guy Gin" He brought her to him a bit more as he heard her soft whimper and felt her cling to him even more and he frowned, worried. "But..." he continued "I also believe that all the good people are in heaven. I'm sure they're happy and are looking down at us, smiling"_

_The room was quiet for a long time. She seemed to be wanting to process what he'd said and he was more than grateful to be given an excuse to hold her so close to him that he didn't dare be the one to break it. Outside the sun shone, beaming into the windows and onto Ginny, her hair glittering with the different colours the sun brought out of it. He kissed her head gently, once, twice before pulling back to lay his head on hers, inhaling her scent. After a while, he felt her try to borrow deeper into him and she asked the question he realised she had actually wanted to ask in the first place. "Harry...do you think I'm going to hell?"_

_Her question startled him so much so he pulled back, speechless. Her head came out and upon his silence she bowed her head, her face held a look that told him she feared the answer to the question greatly and he had just given her the wrong response. "oh Ginny..."_

_Harry placed a finger under her chin and brought her gaze to his, holding more sincerity in that moment than he had in his whole life, wanting her to see how much he loved her, because she was his very best friend. She was the better half of him and he wanted her to be happy. He briefly wondered what he should say, wishing for a moment there was a book on women you could buy in the shop that told you exactly how to handle females in these situation. He offered her a small smile and opted for telling her the truth._

_"I want you to listen to me Ginny because I will only say this once. _You are not going to hell. _I know the chamber still haunts you, it haunts your dreams at night, I know because I've heard you in the summer, screaming in your sleep" she looked away, deep seated shame painted on her face, but Harry was adamant, he wanted her to understand, he wanted her to see herself as he did. "You're beautiful and strong, you're an amazing friend and you're loyal. And yes you have a nasty temper and yes you seem to take pleasure in hexing me when I'm 'bad' but you are good person. Fundamentally Ginny, you're a _good_ person. We love you for all those reasons, but I love you because no matter how much darkness you faced, you're not letting it take over you. You stay strong, like you always do"_

_"That's our Ginny and that is why you're not going to Hell" Harry finished, placing a soft feather light kiss upon her head, a gentle look on emerging on his face._

_It took a second for her to respond, her eyes were suspiciously wet but he ignored it "Thank you" she whispered, finally looking up at him, a small smile on her face. She reached up suddenly and kissed him. He froze in shock for a minute but soon found himself Kissinger her back, placing his hands on her face to cup her. It was soft and brief but when she pulled away he felt a funny sweeping sensation in his stomach. For a minute he was stupidly about to ask if she had felt it too. He smiled at her, hiding the sudden inner turmoil and kissed her head once more as she began to fall asleep, a smile on her face, her hand half closed into a fist on his chest, over his heart. _

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Were here!" Sirius's enthusiastic voice brought me out of my memory. Since he married Lexy he always seemed to be enthusiastic, about the lights, the new furniture or the neighbour's dog two blocks away who'd had puppies. I shook my head at him playfully as he drove us into The Borrow, parking the car up a small walk away from the house. He turned the ignition off and climbed out, frowning, I followed suit.

Reaching in the back he grabbed my trunk and quickly placed a shrinking charm, smiling at me cheekily "can you handle the weight Prongslet? Or do you want me to put the charm?"

I huffed and went to pick the small box like shape from his hand, pretending it didn't weight anything as I slipped it into my pocket when in actually fact it weight what felt like a ton from the clothes and books and other stuff I had stuffed in there earlier. Just because it was shrunk didn't mean it didn't weigh a lot. Hiding my grin, I closed my hand over it, casting the charm anyway wandlessly. But of course I wasn't going to tell him that.

His smile slid from his face when he didn't see any distress on my face and he pouted, shaking his head at me, he threw the keys in my direction which I caught effortlessly. I stared at him in confusion; I dared not to hope...

"I think you've been good enough. As good as you can be anyway. Ban's lifted" he placed his hands on my shoulders, my face still too shocked to respond. Sirius laughed and pulled me to him, hugging me tightly. "Now I'll see you soon kiddo. Behave, now remember-"

I laughed, pulling away "no pranking – that's Fred and George. No flaunting the fact I'm rich, I love the Weasley's to much for that"

Sirius smiled, lightly punching me in the shoulder "and?"

"And?" I repeated "oh yeah, and no sharing a bed with Ginny because we 'both have nightmares' even though that is true!"

He sighed "yes but however understanding Molly was about it a few years ago I doubt she'd be feeling the same now you've both grown up and...Well... don't do it!"

I smiled and nodded my head innocently. Laughing when he groaned in disbelief "fine, fine!" he raised his hands in mock surrender "don't you dare get caught Harry, I don't want no call about my Godson and Molly Weasley's daughter. The women shouts like your mum use too, it's scary!"

I felt myself laugh again and he soon joined in. After a while, he gave me one brief hug, a kiss on the forehead and disappeared with a pop. I sighed and glanced at the car, a grin bursting from my face. It really was a beautiful car. Closing the trunk, I let my hands glide over the smooth black surface, before I jumped into it, placed the key into the ignition and turned it on. I drove it towards one of the Weasley sheds, where the replacement of the old Ford Anglia stood, it was practically the same car, just a darker blue and I would bet money Arthur had made it so it had the function to fly, once again without Molly's knowledge or consent.

As I drove it in I spotted Arthur, cleaning away at the car the old muggle way, he smiled as I came to a silent stop next to his car, I smiled back.

"Hello Harry. You couldn't have come at a better time! Molly's just about to dish lunch out"

I smiled again and return the handshake he gave. We stood and talked for a bit, just the every day mundane conversion, pointless and not-so-pointless at the same time. In the back of my mind I registered that this was the Arthur Weasley I had known all my life, proud father of seven children and a father to a son that wasn't even his, loving husband to Molly, member of the Order of the Phoenix and muggle loving man all in one go. His eyes spoke of a man who'd seen a lot in his life time, who'd fought many battles, on and of the war ground and a man who loved his family above everything else in the world. But now Arthur Weasley held the look of content that the war hadn't allow him to have and I hopped dearly that when I was his age I'd achieve half as much as he did. But I wished more to be as happy as I knew him to be. I wished to be as content as I realised he was now.

I bid him goodbye and let him return to cleaning the car he loved so dearly and it wasn't long before I found myself opening the door to The Borrow and stepping in. Molly had told me long ago that I didn't have to knock, that there was no point considering I was family already and belonged at The Borrow as much as the next Weasley. It warmed my heart to this day, knowing that Molly loved me as if I'd been born hers. I shut the door behind me and entered the kitchen, finding Molly alone, cooking up what was obviously about to be a brilliantly tasty lunch. I coughed, trying to alert her of my presence.

Upon noticing me she let out a huge smile and quickly crossed the room, grabbing me in one of her famous Weasley hugs which I found myself returning.

"Harry dear, how are you?" she asked, pulling back to study my face. Probably wondering if I ate enough or calculating how much she needed to feed me in order for me to be a decent weight. Luckily I wasn't the scrawny little boy I had been before and she obviously saw that now because her smile widened.

"I'm great Molly, I hope you don't mind me staying the whole week" I replied politely

She shook her head "nonsense, you know you're more than welcomed here Harry. Now be a darling and wake Ron up for me? I'm telling you if that boy doesn't wake up soon, I won't feed him lunch and you know how grumpy he gets when he doesn't eat" I smiled in understanding, gave her one last look and ran up the stairs.

I was _home_

_

* * *

_

Longest chapter yet! hope you enjoyed the flashbacks-sort-of-thing. i hope you understand more about his different relationships with people

Merry Christmas to all those celebrating!! Happy hoildays to everyone else :)

Ciao

_HyperActiveMonkey_

_P.s some chapter have been edited, so i would recomend a quick look back while you wait for the next chap :)  
_


	9. A Day to Remember

"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly, and without expectation... We don't love to be loved; we love to love" **Leo Buscaglia**

* * *

_What Goes Around Comes Around_

A Day to Remember

I raced up the stairs, stopping by Ginny's room when I heard the sounds of giggling echoing from it. I smiled to myself and continued upwards, enjoying the feeling of being home and every emotion that came with it. I finally reached Ron's room and opened it slowly, peeking my head in and grinning when I spotted his sleeping form, his arms around a pillow and his mouth open, some dribble coming out of it. I laughed quietly, inching forward and admiring a new Quidditch poster that Ron had brought, a poster of the Cannons of course. After a bit I began to get bored with Ron's snores so tapped him on the shoulder and ducked out of the way when his arm swung at me, a loud disgruntled moan coming from his mouth as his head moved to another position on the pillow and he pulled the covers on top of himself. Laughing harder, I poked him again and it became a short of game, Ron swung at me half conscious while I ducked out of reach. It was kind of funny as Ron began to look more like a funny kind of small redheaded troll than an actual human being.

After a while I managed to haul him out of bed and I waited patiently in his room while he was downstairs showering. The Weasley's had granted me Bill's old room since he'd moved out and I practically lived here now. I knew that no matter the company that always awaited me at home, being around my closet friends and the rest of the Weasley family always made me feel happier. Bill was happily married to Fleur Delacour, a beautiful French Veela who Ron _still _couldn't stop ogling when he saw her, much to Hermione's annoyance. And while Bill's room was very nice I still hadn't adjusted to the lack of Ron's snores, after years and years of it you sort of become use to it and the strangely silent room of Bill's was sometimes more than I could handle. Ron finally came back up and after brief small talk we made our way downstairs were lunch could be smelled from through every room in the house and before you could blink an eye, the thundering of four different teens could be heard running down the stairs towards the kitchen.

I smiled fondly as I remembered a time Fred, George and I would race towards the kitchen, I had lost of course but I had pranked them afterwards so it had all been good fun. Fred and George where currently in America seeing if they could expand their every growing business abroad, the house seemed rather quieter without them, even if they hadn't been living here in a while they still popped over frequently to eat. I slowed down as I came to the opening, watching as Ginny, Ron and Hermione sat themselves in their seats as Molly came about, placing plenty of food in each of their plates. Ron was sitting next to Hermione, one hand underneath the table whilst the other pushed food into his mouth at an alarming speed. I noticed Hermione's hand where under the table too. That was probably why instead of giving Ron disapproving looks about his eating habits; she was instead smiling into her lunch as she ate. Hermione noticed me in the doorway and smiled wider, beckoning me forward with a nod, I smiled too and sat down happily on Ginny's side. She gave me a smile as I began to eat.

Conversation soon began to emerge as the food begun to disappear, till it was just the four of us making small talk, laughing about the past or discussing the who's, what's and when's of the wedding that was soon coming up. I fell back a bit, watching them all. It was one of those moments were you almost bloke out everyone's voice around you and you sit back and watch, almost as if you weren't there. I crossed my arms, blinking as the sun from the window hit my face, before I closed my eyes and sighed. I still wasn't use to this. The constant feeling of being relaxed, of not having to go on a war-type assignment tomorrow, fearing for the deaths of everyone I held dear. I was still recovering. I felt a dig in my stomach.

"Ouch" I wined, opening my eyes

"Stop brooding" Ginny whispered at me before turning her attention back to Hermione

I frowned "I wasn't"

She turned to looked at me again and huffed "it wouldn't be long before you did"

I pulled a face and she stuck her tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes as Molly sat herself down on a chair, wiping her hands on her apron. "Alright, so you lot know the wedding is coming up and I've told Tonk's I would help her out"

"I need you four to go out and buy various things for me, I would go myself but I'm already beginning to cook for the wedding and I just don't have any time. So spilt into two pairs and I'll give you lists of what to get and some money. I want to see you all back here by..." she glanced at the family clock "5:00, so you can have some time to go out and have fun too but make sure you get those items!" she reached into her apron and pulled out two folded pieces of parchment and two bags with a good amount of money in each of them "Remus said you may keep the change if their is any. Now don't forget 5:00" she said the money part with a small frown, she hated to see any money go to waste but seeing Ron's delighted smile, because with Remus you knew he'd put extra money, Molly sighed and shook her head, smiling as she stood up and walked over to the stove.

It was obvious to me and everyone else it seemed, who'd be partnered up with who. Ron already had his arms across Hermione as soon as everyone had gotten up from the table and with a sheepish, yet unapologetic look sent our way from Hermione, I partnered up with Ginny, both of us rolling our eyes at the obviousness of them both. We all climbed the stairs, Hermione, Ron and Ginny on there way to the rooms to grab their coats and in Ron's case, his shoes. I walked up behind Ginny, not really feeling like waiting downstairs for all of them alone. I pulled the parchment with the items, intending to have a quick look, but my eyes found themselves instead on Ginny and the way her jeans, worn and comfortable, hugged her curves. I tilted my head to the side in order to get a better view. We came to a stop at her door soon enough and as I carried on walking upwards, I tired to hide the guilty look as a smirk appeared on her face, as if she knew what I had been doing and had swayed her hips from side to side more seductively just to watch my reaction. I shook my head at her, smiling as she winked saucily back at me before entering her room.

I reached Ron's room as he was putting on his shoes. He shot me a weird look before lacing his shoe lace and standing up, heading across the room to grab a winter jacket. "Did you bring the car?"

I smiled smugly "Yeb"

He groaned "Damn. You still have to let me ride it one of these days"

I looked at him like he was crazy "I remember the last car you drove Ron. Even you dad won't let you go no were near his one now"

He shook his head and shrugged "my fault as much as yours mate" he said as we both walked out of the door, towards the stairs, an easy banter falling between us.

~*~*~

Ginny took a moment to fully appreciate Harry Potter. He was standing with Ron, planning out when to meet up and what they'd be doing for the rest of the day as she stood by his car with Hermione. He was wearing a black leather jacket with dark blue jeans, obviously designer. He wore a long white sleeved top that pressed against his chest muscles enough to make you drool and he wore a pair of normal looking sports shoes that actually seemed to go well together with everything else. The wind blew against his hair, somehow making it more into the organised mess it seemed to be today. Ginny sighed, wishing desperately she didn't look like some kind of love-sick fool in front of Hermione, who smirked at her when she followed Ginny's line of sight. Ginny felt herself blush.

Hermione laughed "I don't blame you Ginny. He is really attractive"

Ginny laughed too but raised an eyebrow at Hermione, before putting her arms around Hermione's shoulders "Hmmm...And here I thought you fancied my brother"

She lightly smacked Ginny's arm "I do and you know I see Harry as my brother but well you know..."

Ginny rubbed her arm dramatically "oh I _know_. But bloody Ron's rubbing of on you way to much"

"Oh Ginny, I wished you'd stop with all the swearing, I think you've been hanging out with Harry too much"

"What? I swear more than him" Ginny defended herself, though why she said that she wasn't really sure

"You know what, you do" Hermione spotted Ron waving her over and quickly kissed Ginny in the cheek. Calling a quick 'see you later' she was soon walking in the opposite direction with Ron, towards _the market__._ They had the job of getting some of the food. Ginny and Harry had the job of getting more of a mixture, which she was very thankful for, it would probably take longer and any time she got to spend with Harry on their own was a welcomed relief. Especially since it had been such a long time since she been really close to him and she missed it.

He walked towards her, laughing at something. As he came to stop, he let out one last laugh and smiled crookedly at her. "So you ready?"

"Yes, let's go!" Ginny said happily.

He laughed at her happy, eager expression and walked her towards the car. Ginny smiled in surprise as he opened the door for her, shutting the door behind her as he quickly appeared on the other side o the car. She took a moment to register the cool interior and tired not to gasp in surprise as a top begin to form on top of them, covering them from any possible rain or snow. He turned the ignition on and the car gracefully drove out of The Burrow. Ginny leaned over and pressed the CD player on, turning it down so that it was but a soft background melody.

She smiled affectionately "Sirius?"

Harry pulled his eyes from the road as they drove past a rather empty street and smiled too "Of course"

She nodded her head, amused. He turned back towards the road though his eyes had lingered on her face. For some reason neither wanted to break the silence, it seemed so rare when they desperately didn't feel the need to tell each other everything, as if with each silent moment, their bond grew. Not everyone could sit with someone and not feel uncomfortable as the silence dragged on. More to Ginny's surprise, she felt no tension surrounding them. Well, if you ignored the obvious attraction that seemed to cling between them, the lust that was making it self heard more and more as they spent ever increasing time together and something else, something deep and intense that Ginny wasn't quite sure she understood. If you ignored all that, _then_ you could enjoy the silence as much as Ginny was telling herself she was.

She felt a warm, larger hand take hers tenderly. She gently squeezed his hand and saw him smile. She too wasn't able to hold back the smile that appeared on her face. The car turned another corner and the beginnings of busy streets could be seen, coming every closer as the sleek black car approached its destination with the upmost of ease. "Where should we go first?" Harry asked, stopping the car at the red light, flashing another man a smug smile when he stood staring at Harry's car in wonder.

Ginny rolled her eyes and waited till he looked at her "Lexy asked me to stop at a store and pick up the 'something new' for Tonk's. I can't remember which one it is..." she looked out of the window "there are so many of the same one but just keep driving a bit and I'll spot it"

He nodded and drove off, his hand still holding hers. It wasn't long before they came to the store. Harry parked the car a little way off, by a small Italian restaurant and before she knew it he was opening her door for her again. She raised an eyebrow at him as he locked the car with a subtle flick of his hand.

"What?" he asked innocently, running a hand through his hair

"You know what" she replied

He sighed and shuffled his feet, his eyes on his shoes. She would have thought it adorable was she not more curious to his reaction. She thought he was about to tell her but he shook his head once and she knew she shouldn't push him. He was sure to tell her when he was ready. He gave her a half smile and signalled towards the building she had spotted earlier.

"Umm...Ginny are you sure?" Harry asked anxiously, trying to pretend he wasn't standing out side that particular shop

Ginny looked up, suddenly realising exactly what the shop was "I'm..._pretty_ sure this is it..." she thought about it for a moment as people rushed by them. Many of them busily going for Christmas gifts they had yet to buy or heading into the nearest food store for food that would soon need to be prepared. She sighed happily, this could be fun.

"Yes, this is it" she told him cheerfully, enjoying the rather uncomfortable look that spread across his face.

Harry gulped but entered the store as Ginny grabbed his hands and practically yanked him in; he ignored the giggles that could be heard from a group of teenage girls that entered the shop too. Covering up a groan and trying his best not to seem as though he was looking around interested, he quickly fell a step behind Ginny as they came to the counter.

"Hello, how may I help?" asked the women, puzzled. The look on her face was rather comical he could admit. She looked rather surprised to see them both there. She was probably wondering if himself and Ginny were about to waste her time.

"Yes" Ginny told her, noticing the girls that came up a hearing distance away from her and Harry, small giggles erupting from them as they eyed Harry up and down. The tallest one, with platinum blonde hair and dull blue eyes had a rather predatory look on her face whenever she glanced at him. She felt him squeeze the hand she held on tightly to in reassurance. As if to mock the girls, Harry leaned forward and placed his hands around her waist from behind, resting his head briefly on her shoulder as he gave Ginny a soft nudge, as if to remind her she was in the middle of talking. "Umm... Yes, I'm here to pick up an order from an Alexis Black please"

The women nodded kindly and typed something into the flashy computer. "Your name please?"

"Ginevra Weasley"

The woman nodded "Okay, thank you. I'll be right back with the order" she smiled and turned around towards the back room. Ginny felt Harry breath out slowly, as if in pain and felt him place his forehead on her shoulder "Harry, are you alright?"

He inhaled again "No..." he groaned

She turned in his arms, his hands still wrapped around her "what's the matter?" she noticed his upset face and placed her hand on his cheeks, wanting him to look into her eyes

"I keep..._God Ginny_...I keep imagining you...these outfits..."he closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers, blocking out the giggles he heard from the group of girls. Ginny blushed furiously but refused to look away when he opened his eyes

She smiled as seductively as she could, her eyes twinkling in amusement and ran her hands up and down his chest slowly "You know what Harry? Maybe you won't have to imagine much longer..." she heard his moan as he pressed a long kiss to her forehead and turned her around when the women appeared before them, holding up a bag that Ginny took.

As Ginny signed a paper, Harry's mind flashed to Ginny in one of the more saucier outfits and wanting her to feel _something _too, he pressed her back to him, hopping he was being discreet about it. The affect was automatic. She stiffened in surprised as she felt _it _pressed against her bum. Coughing to hide the blush, she quickly jotted the rest, thanked the women and turned to glare at Harry. He shrugged as if to say "it's your fault too" and leaned down to kiss her head once more.

They walked out of the shop. He was obviously debating something in his head but seemed to make up his mind and cautiously took hold of her hands. She wondered if that was what had been bothering him before, wondering whether or not if he was allowed to be like this in public with her, knowing full well people would think they were dating. She knew she'd told him she couldn't go out just yet, but Ginny found herself longing for his touch. Her heart telling her that they knew no one around here and that would make it okay to do such things as holding hands. She wanted it just as much as he did and she craved it more. She reached up as they came to the main street and planted a kiss on his cheek, smiling up at him as he looked at her, his gaze questioning. She gave him one small smile and he broke out in to a huge grin.

It was a deal. Today they could act like a couple; they would be allowed that freedom. Something the world seemed to conspire against them having. It was sad to think something so small had to take so much pain and secrecy to obtain, only to give it back not long afterwards. But for now they would enjoy it, she knew he wanted it and she would oblige because she knew she wanted it too.

Harry steered them towards a flower store on their way to the car. As people swarmed across them Ginny felt him lean down to her ear

"Ginny" he whispered, though there was no need for it "I hope the next time we go to Victoria's Secret we'll be to buy something for you to wear..."

She smiled up at him "As long as you help me pick it out...maybe help me put it on-"

He grinned "...and perhaps take it off?"

Her eyes twinkled like mad as she spotted the glazed over look in his eyes, lust and that other thing dancing around behind them "hmm..." she pretended to think "Only if you were to strip for me first"

He raised his eyebrows, mindful of the people around him and tried not to let his thoughts go any further into the gutter than they already was "Deal"

She laughed as they shook on it. She was sure he wouldn't forget it.

~*~*~

We came to a stop by the flower stall as I ignored the older man eyeing up the Victoria's Secret bag. If It wasn't for the fact that whatever was in that bag would be for Aunt Tonk's I would be curious too. I smiled when I spotted Ginny glancing at the single yellow rose that lay scattered between the few red ones. In contrast to the blood red colour of the red roses the yellow one seemed to be somehow more beautiful. I smiled and pointed towards a collection of red roses, he went over and lifted them up, placing them in an elegant vase I had pointed too as well. I paid and thanked him, smiling as he winked at me, a youthful smile on his face as I picked up the yellow rose too and gave it too Ginny.

She stared at the rose in my hand for a second and took it, giving me a heart stopping smile in return. I waved to the older man, who still had the smile on his face and walked Ginny back to the car.

She smiled at the rose in her hand and stroked one of the petals delicately. Ginny noticed the vase in my hands as I carefully placed them in a secure position in the boot, casting a protective spell on the vase to stop it from breaking or moving when the car got going and another spell to keep the roses fresh. She raised her eyebrows, her eyes on the red roses.

I laughed softly as she put the bag in the boot too "It's for your mum" I told her

Ginny beamed "She's going to love it. And thank you...for mine"

I smiled and nodded. Ginny took my hand and lead me to another store, getting a pen from her bag as she ticked and crossed the thing's we brought. I hopped she knew what the flower meant. The yellow rose represented friendship and I hopped she knew if it never worked out between us, that I was and would always be there for her as her best friend, if nothing else. I frowned when she turned away to peek inside a shop. I was only beginning to realise just how sentimental I was becoming, I certainly never use to be like this before but I supposed I hadn't been a lot of things before Ginny.

As we stepped in from shop to shop, our conversation didn't once stop. We talked about everything, from Ron and Hermione, to the wedding to our favourite time of the year. Ginny, it seemed, enjoyed winter, she loved the snow and how it brought her family together. She missed Charlie greatly and was extremely happy that he was coming over for Christmas. She was happy that Bill was coming too, even if it meant bringing Fleur with him, who Ginny would never admit it, but she was beginning to grow fond of. I enjoyed watching her face as it sparkled while she talked, the wind bringing about a soft breeze that blew on her hair. I felt a small tug at my heart and I found it so strange how I could simply enjoy just watching her happy expression. I wondered if this came with being in love with her. Would it always be like this? Would my heart feel as alive as it did now whenever I thought of her face, smiling and happy? Would I always, underneath everything, love her so completely she seemed the centre of my world?

For one split second I felt more scared than I had in my entire life. It was so _powerful_. I realised then, in that moment as I stepped back as she went in to buy for a good I wasn't really paying any attention to, just how much power she unknowingly had over me. I become confused, thinking of Sirius, Remus, Arthur and even Ron. Didn't they get scared? This wasn't something of a crush when you're younger and you _think _you're in love. I was, as were they. But how could it not scare them? How can it not terrify a person so much, this all consuming feeling? For that split second I wanted to run and I almost felt my mind beginning to pull away, returning to the protective shelter I had built such a long time ago. My eyes softened when I saw Ginny, turning to smile at me from the counter. I knew Ginny wouldn't ever ruin that, she wouldn't hurt me. I knew she wouldn't...

I smiled but felt myself sigh for the millionth time today. I wasn't completely sure why my mind chose to think such thing's at the most inappropriate of times and I briefly wondered if this was the same for everyone else. Did other people think such ridiculous thoughts, however deep they may be, at random times like this? Or was it triggered by another person, like Ginny seemed to trigger it for me? I felt confused but I felt as though I also saw everything more clearly too.

We stepped from the store, our conversations beginning up again. She asked me when my favourite time of the year was and I told her it was summer. I wondered if she thought it was summer because it was in the summer that I killed Voldemort. In some ways I could resent summer, I had killed so many people in summer to hate it by now but how could I? It was summer when I first started talking to Ginny Weasley.

The conversation turned to other topics as we walked across the streets. My hand laced with hers as I held the shopping bags in the other while she clutched the rose, bringing it up to smell every once in a while, as she spoke. I smiled softly; enjoying the feelings that came with beginning able to talk to someone for hours upon hours and never run out of thing's to say.

~*~*~

I parked the car near another small Italian restaurant, having an hour or so before we had to go back to The Burrow. I asked for a more private booth towards the corner of the restaurant. It smelt of freshly made pizza, costly wooden tables and there was a general good feeling about the place that went well with me. We sat down; waiting for the waiter to spot us and trying to decide what we wanted to eat. Ginny and I where sitting rather close, her thighs brushing mine as she shot me sly glances. I smiled at her, finding myself distracted, half my mind wondering how women could cope with shopping non-stop for so long, the other half wondering when I would be able to kiss her again.

I felt the waiter approach, tall and tanned and I found myself frowning at the way he stared at Ginny. "Hello, welcome to 'Mario's', I'll be your waiter today. Have you decided on what you'll order?" he asked, his eyes never leaving Ginny's face and if her blush was any incantation, she noticed the attention.

"I'll have the pasta please" she told him.

He made a big show of wondering what the pasta she wanted exactly was, till she had to point it to him with the menu, this meant he leaned down extra close as if he couldn't see even from that ridiculous close distance. Ginny's face bloomed her famous Weasley red.

I heard her ask what I wanted, finally drawing the attention of the stupid obsessed male from her to me, if only for a while. When I didn't responded, choosing instead to glare at him, she kicked me under the table "just some Coke please"

"Not hungry?" Ginny asked, surprised as the waiter jotted down our orders

"No" I glared at him "I've suddenly lost my appetite"

Ginny frowned at me and rolled her eyes "He'll have the same, thanks"

The waiter, who by now I'd made a firm mental note to _not _leave a tip, hopped off merrily towards the kitchen, probably plotting a way to spit into my pasta.

"Why are you acting so jealous? I've got to put up with it; it seems only fair you do too"

I sighed, she was right of course "I'm sorry. I'll be good" I told her, my hand reaching out to palm her face, my thump tracing soft round circles on her cheeks.

She closed her eyes briefly "Good"

We talked as we waited for the man to return. I asked her about her favourite book, a place she would love to visit when she was older and the different careers she was thinking of pursuing. I didn't know what it was that was driving me to ask all these things or why my memory took them all in perfectly, keeping them softly tucked away in the back of my head so that if I was ever in the need to remember them, they would come quickly and with crystal clarity. I watched as she talked, her eyes lighting up with passion as she described wanting to see Paris, wanting to able to have the opportunity to enjoy Paris's beauty in all its glory. My hand held hers on the table, every once in a while she'd squeeze it in excitement and I'd feel the sudden urge to bring her closer, which I did, till she was resting comfortably in the booth with me, her head resting softly on my shoulder, a peaceful and content look gracing her face. The calm atmosphere still resided in the small, comfy restaurant. Couples sat themselves on different booths, some closer together than others. One couple, I noticed, couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. It was eat with one hand and graze the others thigh with the other. I found myself smirking, it didn't seem like it was their first time either. As I watched the other couples and spotted a different waiter bringing our food, I wondered how I showed Ginny that I cared. Was I tender when I needed to be? Did she realise how much I loved her by the way the fire burned in my eyes at the smallest of glances towards her? I placed a kiss upon her head before she straightened out and thanked the waiter, placing my pasta filled plate next to me. I wondered if she knew how I felt. Did she feel the same? Could she ever? I had never been a confused teenager, I was more fortunate than others. I had more guidance than the average child considering the Guardians I had but I wondered if my real teenage years were catching up to me. Why was I all of a sudden becoming a nervous, over-sweaty mess when it came to her? Was it like this with everyone?

I picked up the fork and began to eat, savouring the taste of it. We were still talking, in between bites of course. She asked me where I'd like to go and what I wanted to be when I was older. I had answers to all these but it was the question next that I wasn't to sure about.

"What about married life then Harry?"

I coughed "I...haven't thought too much on that"

She gave me a disbelieving look "you haven't?" she asked, sceptical

I ate slowly "no"

"No?" she questioned, raising the fork to take the last bite of her meal, her eyes never leaving mine

As she looked at me I tired not to picture the red-headed children, the beautiful brown eyes or the pregnant red-head that glowed with love for me. I tired not to picture the big house, with a huge garden and a Quidditch pitch or the many different photos scattered everywhere in the house proudly as children's laughed floated in from outside. I shook my head and tired to give Ginny a smile. "No. I'll be to busy with Auror work and stuff to really start a family I think"

"Oh...Okay" she smiled back, a slightly disappointed look in her face

We left after that. I had left a generous tip for the other waiter, and we departed out of the small restaurant, our hands laced together as the temperature outside turned colder. We walked back to the car in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I opened the car door for her, she smiled gratefully and stepped in, immediately going about turning the temperature up, she reached over and opened the door for me and I got in, sitting myself in happily in the comfortable leather seats. I pulled out of the parked place, smiling as Ginny flicked through the different radio stations, trying to find a song she liked. The car drove past the same shop I had last seen the group of giggling girls and I smirked, spotting them glancing at another male who had his arms around a pretty brunette. Poor guy, he obviously didn't know what he was in for.

It was then I spotted them

It wasn't hard to miss them. Their faces were still in the photographs back at home, underneath my cupboard, at the furthest corner. I didn't burn them out of respect to mum. Vernon Dursley looked somehow more of an idiotic, pathetic man than I remembered him to be and Petunia Dursley could be seen, even from the distancing car, fretting over her large son. I had met them once, Sirius told me it was something mum had asked him to try and do before she died. She wanted me to meet the only family she had before dad and his friends. It didn't last long, nor was the encounter very pleasant. We hadn't gone back to see them after that one time.

I picked up the speed till there was nothing more of them to see

Ginny turned to look out of the window "Do you know them Harry?"

I tried to not grit my teeth in anger "I use to...the woman is my mum's sister, or was anyway."

Ginny must have noticed my expression because she sighed in understanding. I think it was obvious this was yet another bad story of Harry Potter's. I hated that. My life, in a lot of ways, seemed so depressing.

As the car stopped at the red light, she gently extracted my hand from the steering wheel, placing a soft kiss on it before bringing it to her lap. I felt myself relax again. I turned to look at her "I'll explain someday"

"I know"

I smiled gratefully and reached over, letting my other hand escape the steering wheel to palm her face as I bent down and kissed her slowly, once, twice before resting my head on hers

"Thank you"

She smiled and I turned to the wheel, the green light coming on.

~*~*~

Late snacks at The Burrow were a delightful affair. It was obvious to Ginny that Ron was happier, louder and generally more cheerful with Hermione sitting in front of him. Just like It was obvious to her how her mum smiled that little bit more, having her four youngest children all laughing merrily around her kitchen table. Ginny spotted her mum, sitting so close to her father at the other end of the table she was practically sitting on his lap, she saw how her father would occasionally drift his eyes from the paper to kiss her mother gently, to which she blushed, before he turned back to the paper, repeating the same action a few minutes afterwards. Ginny never fully appreciated just how, nice, in a way, it was to have her parents show their affections like this in front of their children, even though at times it was quite frankly disturbing. Her whole view on it had changed when she spotted Harry's happy smile, a sort of wistful expression on his face and I was sure he wished he'd seen his parents in love like that, instead of just being told about it.

He sat across from her, sometimes munching on a toast, other times laughing happily at something Ron said next to him. Everyone was in their pyjamas', it was late now and cold outside but peaceful and it wasn't long before both Ginny's parents headed of to bed, reminding everyone to not stay up too late. The conversations quickly moved in to the den, where a fire roared in the fireplace, spreading warmth to Ginny's feet and giving her a sense of calm and relaxation as she lounged in an old comfy armchair, a book on her lap, and her eyes on Harry. He wore dark maroon pyjama pants and a rather snug white t-shirt, which showed his muscles clearly, making Ginny drool at the most random of times. She spotted him looking at her every once in a while, a smirk plastering itself on his face and she knew he'd done it on purpose.

"Evil" she mouthed at him

He coughed a laugh behind Ron and winked at her.

When the clock struck 12:15 Ron and Hermione went of to bed, Ron become tired of kicking Harry's butt at chess. Harry made some excuse of not being sleepy and stayed behind with Ginny on the opposite couch; Ron shot him a funny look but said nothing. Ginny avoided Hermione's more knowing looks.

She glanced at him, spotting his peaceful, happy expression as he too lounged in another armchair. And she felt a sudden, unexpected hunger in her, something she had not felt before, something trying desperately to claw itself out. It was a hunger to be nearer to him, to touch him unguarded and not be ashamed it was all being done behind closed doors. As soon as her and Harry heard two sets of doors closing, they sprang up. Her book fell on the floor with a loud thud, as did the Quidditch magazine Harry had been reading. She met him half way, her body coming to a crash against his and she felt a delicious closeness to him, her body pressing itself to his. She felt him grab her waist and she in turn cupped his face as their kisses become frantic.

Harry kissed her on her cheeks, her mouth, her neck, her jaw "I thought they'd never leave" he whispered breathlessly between kisses

She took a moment from kissing his neck, to ravaging his mouth "I know. How many times can Hermione talk about elf rights before I end up killing her?"

He laughed happily against her mouth as they both fell to the floor slowly, never stopping the frantic kisses and trailing hands. He ended up on top of her, placing his body between her legs, as she felt just how much he wanted her. Ginny gasped into his mouth and pulled back, grinning like manic.

"Missed me?" she asked him, her voice mischievous

His voice turned husky with desire and he laughed briefly "like you can't tell" he whispered to her, pressing his hips into hers deeper till she gasped again and he crushed his mouth once against to hers. She ran her hand through his hair, enjoying the feel of it as it weaved through her fingers. She heard him moan briefly, or maybe it was her, she wouldn't have been able to tell at this point.

Neither of them felt like they could stop themselves. It occurred to Ginny that they where in her parents house, just like she was sure Harry was thinking the same thing, it also occurred to her that someone could come in and spot them at any moment and God only knew the complications that would bring. As if he heard her thoughts, Harry sighed, kissed her slowly once more and pulled back.

"Not the right place" he breathed out, standing up

She licked her lips, her eyes on his is extremely messy hair and his slightly swollen lips "Nope, defiantly not"

She felt herself sigh and made a move of going to bed "You coming?" she asked him, frowning when she spotted him looking slightly pained

"Not right now"

"Harry its late and –"

He rolled his eyes "I _can't _Gin"

He smiled slightly at her bewildered expression and gave a small blush when realisation dawned in her eyes "Oh..._oh_..."

He shuffled his feet "Yeah"

She tired not to giggle but found his expression to funny to hold back the laughter

"It's not funny!"

She approached him "come on Harry, it's a bit funny. How often does this happen to you?"

He looked her dead in the eyes "Frequently, when I think of you"

She blushed, embarrassed yet proud too. She stopped when she was inches from him and from the look on his face; she wasn't making it any easier on him. He gently brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and ran a finger softly over her lips while her hands came around his neck. He cupped her face, smiling at her and for a minute she wondered what he was thinking about when he looked at her like that. He made her feel so special with that look, like there was no one else in the world he'd rather be with than her. She was lucky to have him, she knew that.

She suddenly felt the same intense desperation return to her like minutes before but this time it was calmer, softer, just a simple longing to bury herself closer to him. She leaned towards him, and as he bent his head down, she kissed him on his scar delicately. Pulling back she noticed his tender smile and she couldn't help herself grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him down roughly for another kiss. He responded soon enough with a loud groan and his arms came to find her across the waist. Thing's were getting progressively better, with their kisses having the same wild frantic sense to them as before and a spark had lighted itself between her and Harry, till there really was nothing in her world but the feel of him in her arms, his mouth against hers.

Harry stopped suddenly, drawing a deep breath and pulling away slowly. Ginny glanced at him, confused. She heard him swear softly and turn towards the door. She followed his eyes sight and her breath caught in her throat.

Ron was there. His eyes dancing back and forth between her and Harry, till they rested on Harry, a glare painted itself on his face. It wasn't hard to guess he had been there for a quite a while, but the look on his face scared her. She had never seen that look on Ron before.

He looked livid and was clutching his wand tightly in his hand; he raised it without a word and pointed it at Harry.

For the first time, in a very long time, Ginny Weasley was scared

Very, very scared

* * *

**AN**: I am so _very sorry_ about the long time it took to update. so sorry! i mean i know i hate it when you finally really get into a story or whatever and a author takes forever to update, so sorry :)

the next chap should be here quicker, but i am busy so.. :) i'll try my best. i think it might be worth the wait though.

I hope everyone's seen the trailers and stuff for half blood prince, it looks fantastic :)

Ciao!

_HyperActiveMonkey_


	10. You, Me & Cassie

This chapter is dedicated to the reviewer [ 'Reo' ] for sending me such a fantastic review that, reading back I felt inspired to write this chapter even while I was fighting the classic writers block. Thank you.

And to [Emerald – Hazel Eyes/ ProfessorChris and Loyd1989] you guys are awesome too, thanks' for making an insecure writer, feel that little bit more confident :)

_"Loving is a feeling that brings both joy and pain to my heart. Joy from being with you, being filled with an emotion so deep and tender that no other feeling can compare. Pain from knowing that I'm so in love, that I'm more vulnerable than ever"  
_

* * *

_What Goes Around Comes Around_

You, Me & Cassie

_Shit_

This defiantly wasn't good. Ron's face was ablaze with anger, his wand pointing itself at me, more steady and firm than I had seen it before. I flicked my wrist slowly, placing a silencing charm on the room. I felt Ginny's eyes on me and I turn my head for a second to give her a reassuring smile. She wasn't reassured.

Ron stepped toward me "Ginny. Move now"

Ginny frowned angrily and chose instead to step in front of me. I would have laughed was the moment not so bloody serious. I grinned a little but when she didn't move and Ron's wand didn't point somewhere safer, I got frustrated and pushed her towards the armchair.

"Hey!"

I ignored her shout and quickly placed a sticking charm on her and a protective shield. Ron obviously wasn't in the mood for talk. His hair was a mess, as if he had suddenly jumped out of bed and rushed downstairs. His glare so fierce I felt a pang of sadness in my heart that it was directed to me but as he continued to point his wand at me, his hand didn't shake.

I held my hands up, in a show of truce "Ron, please..."

He shook his head angrily "How long Harry?"

I looked at the floor "A while" I answered him. When I looked up, he looked even more furious. I heard Ginny groan, her hand coming up to slap her forehead, she most likely would have preferred me to lie. But I owed him the truth.

Ron grit his teeth, his eyes blazing "What was the _one _thing I have _ever_ asked you to do Harry?" his hand clenched into a fist "the _one _thing?"

I sighed, unable to look him in the eyes. It was true; he had ever only asked one thing from me. "Never be more than a friend to Ginny"

He swore loudly "Exactly! This counts as more than friends Harry!"

I could see from the corner of my eye Ginny's wild attempts to get herself up from the armchair, glaring at me when she was unable to do so, screaming things even though we couldn't hear them. I had put a silencing charm on her too.

I ran my hand through my hair "I'm _sorry_ – I...I couldn't...I had too..."

I yelped when I felt my skin split open on my shoulder, feeling warm liquid begin to pool from it. I grimaced, glancing at Ron, as he sent me another hex, this time landing on my cheek; I grit my teeth as I felt the blood spill.

~*~*~

[GPOV]

The idiot wasn't moving. He was letting Ron sent hex after hex and he wasn't moving. Ginny screamed herself horse, though no one could hear her. There was something more to it than Ron acting like an overprotective brother. She tired getting off the chair again, only to find herself unmoving.

"Harry!" she screamed as Ron sent a particularly nasty hex to his stomach. Harry moved out of the way and rolled on the floor to hide behind a couch, his hand moving over his body as he healed the different cuts and bruises. He was shouting at Ron to forgive him, but Ron wouldn't listen, he was blind in his fury.

"Ron, please! Please! – let me explain!"

"There's nothing to explain! You promised me!" He screamed back. And Ginny watched in horror as Ron flung the coach and Harry smack against the wall, till Harry landed with a thud on the hard wood floor. He got up slowly, clutching his stomach. One hand on the back of his head as he tired to breath, she wasn't sure she could watch much longer.

One arm still across his stomach, his other hand reached towards Ron "_Please _Ron –its different. _She's _different"

Ron sent him another hex, stronger than the others as he stood in the middle of the room, but Harry blocked it with a wave of his hand, he wanted to talk. Ginny watched as Ron sent spell after spell, beginning to become more frustrated with each spell that missed and then his spells turned into curses, which turned dangerous, till she felt her lungs were raw from her screaming and her tears burned her eyes.

Ron sent another spell and recognising this one, she found herself gasping. _Where on earth did he learn that?_ She thought in disgust, but she wasn't afraid, she knew Harry could block it easily.

"Not my sister Harry! Are you going to kill another one? Will you kill Ginny too?" Ron screamed, as the spell, blood red flew across from his wand to Harry. Ginny watched as Harry froze, his eyes wide, his hands limp at his sides. The spell hit his chest, splitting his skin open. The blood poring from Harry should have scared her, but it was his expression that scared her most. She knew in that moment, as she trashed and screamed against the spell, that she would never be able to forget the look on his face. He looked so broken, lost but held such a look of the deepest hurt that she felt her heart break for him. A sob ripped from her chest as she no longer was able to hold back the silent tear that escaped and fell from her eye. Through her more blurred vision, she saw Ron shake himself quickly and Harry upon noticing her body, which shook uncontrollably, and the tears, slowly moved his hands around his torso, a pained expression appearing on his face as his shirt ripped from his body and you could see the skin mending itself. It was both painful and unnecessary; Harry could have taken care of himself quicker. Healed himself without the pain, but she realised, as she was sure Ron realised too, that Harry was slowly acting like the guy they had known all those years ago; guilt stricken, self-loathing and unbearable to be around.

It was almost as though all the life had been sucked out of Harry, his eyes were drawn and haunted. Ron raised his wand, his hand shaking somewhat, some form of pity and remorse appearing on his face, his expression awakening, as if he suddenly realised what he was had done and who he was pointing his wand at. "Will you stay away from her?"

Harry ran his hands through his hair, his voice shaky "I...I can't"

Ron frowned, his hand becoming more resolute again "What do you mean you can't?"

His eyes were more pleading than Ginny had ever seen in her life, for once she felt she saw Harry, the real Harry; hurt, troubled and venerable. "Please don't make me Ron" He whispered.

Despite this she wondered what Ron had meant; surely Harry hadn't actually killed anyone? _No, s_he thought as she watched Ron lower his wand and step toward a frail and broken looking Harry, _no it's not in him to do something like that. _She watched as Ron dropped his wand on the floor, small red sparks echoing from and took two long strides before suddenly embracing Harry as though he was a long lost brother.

Confused but finding relief that they stopped fighting float itself back into her body, she watched as Ron and Harry whispered between themselves. Harry paused as Ron waited for him to continue, Ron grabbing his shoulders firmly but carefully. Harry suddenly looked pained once more as he looked Ron dead in the eyes and whispered something. His eyes where downcast as Ron's face turned from inpatient to surprised.

"Really?" Ron asked him. Harry lifted his eyes from the floor and met Ron's once more "Do you mean that?"

"Yes" Harry replied, which such conviction and sincerity that Ron let out breath, apologised and hugged Harry in the way only a brother could. Ron nodded his head slowly, almost to himself, took one long look at Ginny, who was once again trying to get out of the cage she was imprisoned in and one final look at Harry and crossed the room, bent down to pick up his wand and left. Not before shooting Harry one last glare, a reminder of sorts.

For a few minutes Harry just stood there, his hand coming to place themselves on his face and his shoulders sagging, his posture relieved but tired. She waited for a minute or so before she found herself restless, wanting desperately to comfort him. He looked up, after what felt like forever, a sorry look on his face as he waved his hand warily and both the spells that had held Ginny back were now released from her.

Ginny sprang from the arm chair and practically flew across the room in order to sweep Harry in a hug. She held on tightly but after a moment Harry groaned and she quickly took a step back. His face was apologetic as his hands clutched at his chest, he was obviously still sore.

He coughed, whispering a soft 'sorry' and pulling her back into an embrace, kissing her head slowly as she fisted her hands in front of his chest. After a few minutes she turned to look up at him

"You're a git, you know that"

He sighed "I know"

"You had no right to keep me like that. You should have defended yourself!"

He closed his eyes "I know". His expression was so heart broken again, so pained that she used all her strength to try and contain the curiosity that raged within her over his conversation (or shouting match as it would be more accurately described) with Ron and choose instead to just stay content to hold him and let him hold her, before they parted to go to sleep, to face Ron in the morning.

~*~*~

[HPOV]

No matter what had happened, I couldn't ask for a better friend. It was the last full day before the wedding and apart from some serious warning looks; Ron had been the same as always. Our friendship was on the edge of a knife, I knew, like he knew, it all depended on me and if I was to ever hurt Ginny. I doubt Ron would be as forgiving then. Ginny had been...struggling. I knew her better than the others; I could say it with conviction. Anyone else would think she was the same but it was subtle changes that I noticed. She was someone that would hug people without a second thought, she was giving and affectionate and I loved it about her, she wouldn't hesitate to playfully sit on Hermione's lap like she was a two year old (and Hermione loved it really), Ginny wouldn't hesitate to give her friends kisses on the cheeks but she wasn't doing that so much these past few days and I knew it was my fault. I shouldn't have assumed that she wouldn't of have been curious to the conversation that me and Ron had, we weren't exactly doing it quietly. I sighed, pulling my dark blue jeans on and sticking on a warm jumper. December was seriously amongst us now, and any other person in England could attest to the fact that it was freezing. But Today I had plans.

It was time to tell Ginny the truth

I knew she was guessing in her head, probably unable to stop thinking about the conversation and going over and over it in her mind, trying to pick out what Ron meant, what I was telling him. I could have punched Ron for his comments, but he was right. It was all my fault.

We hadn't told Hermione what happened

I smiled, stepping out of the room, beginning to walk downstairs towards the kitchen in hopes of finding Molly. Not that Hermione hadn't guessed of course, she had and come pretty close; actually I was sure Ron had already told her. She wasn't impressed with me or Ron. I think she had cuffed me on the back of the head at least ten times over these few days but Ginny thought it was funny and she laughed. I was glad she was laughing even if it wasn't me who was making her laugh.

I stepped in to the kitchen, smiling at Molly when she spotted me and beckoned me forward. I glanced outside the window, watching the clear morning world outside the Borrow, waiting rather nervously for Ginny to come down.

I had planned it all out

The story I would tell her. The breathing techniques I would need to use not to break down. The hug I needed to master, soft and gentle, comforting but dethatched.

I had asked Molly the evening before if it was okay that I took Ginny to some place, I hadn't told her where and she hadn't needed to ask. She had looked me dead in the eyes, in the way only a mother could, as if she was seeing right through my soul. Whatever it is that she had seen in my face, it didn't take long before she agreed, asking me when I'd be back to which I gave the honest reply that I didn't know but I would be back before it got to dark. I could see it in her eyes though, the hope that shone so deep I felt myself smile sadly at her. She was Ginny's mum and I was, in a lot of ways, her other son. She wanted us together. I did too.

That was how Ginny found us. I was hugging Molly as she was hugging me and when Ginny entered we broke apart and I could have swore I saw her tab her eyes. I smiled at Ginny and she smiled back, somewhat tired but dressed it seemed in warm clothes. I had told Ginny I wanted to take her someplace yesterday after I had told Molly. She seemed only too happy to come.

We sat in comfortable silence the three of us. Molly was making food for when Ron would wake up, Ginny was finishing her hot chocolate while munching on toast and I sat in front of her, trying to steal as many glances of Ginny as possible. She wasn't wearing any makeup, but she didn't look the way I thought she would have. I realised that she wasn't ever really all that fond of make up In the first place and putting it on was only something she did every once in a while. Regardless, she looked nice; tired but nice. Her green jumper fit her snugly and I tried not to grin when I realised just who's jumper that had been a few years ago. She wore black skinny jeans that were tucked into her black Ugg boots. I remembered her being so happy when Bill had brought them for her; they looked like ordinary boots to me.

I caught her eye and she nodded her head. I lifted myself of the table and went to put my drink in the sink, gave Molly a kiss on the cheek (not without blushing) and proceeded to go outside, into the freezing weather. I opened the door to the car and she hopped in.

Once the engine purred to life and we were alone, speeding down a familiar road, at least it was to me, the conversation followed. I felt as though she and I hadn't really talked at all recently and I was sure she felt the same way. I smiled at her, as she explained to me how the twins had pranked Ron when he was younger; making him think he was eating spiders every time he touched edible food. Molly hadn't been impressed. I was sure it was in fact Ron, who had something to do with me not having any spare time with her.

I paused at a red light and she took my hand, bringing it to her lips for a soft kiss. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Are you okay?"

I squeezed her hand and nodded "I'm...good. I'm good thanks" I reluctantly turned my face from her smiling one to the road, closing my eyes briefly before telling her the inevitable;

"Were here"

Her eyes met mine before they met our destination and I looked away as her eyes turned confused but, scared. Scared of what she was about to find out. But she hid it well, covering it beneath a mask of indifference, like it was ordinary for me to bring her here, of all places. Once we stepped out, I went to the trunk; taking out a single white rose, of the finest quality, so beautiful it looked timeless. It was perfect. Something reserved for these occasions.

I didn't take her hand as I pushed through the small gate and walked forward; bringing the jacket I had brought tighter to myself. She was walking slowly behind me; maybe she was beginning to understand. We walked a bit further, until we where at the furthest end of the place, the most beautiful, where a small picket fence, the purest white in colour still shone like the day it had been brought, made the perfect square around the site. I opened the fence and we came upon it.

I felt the familiar lump in my throat, the sick feeling of guilt in my stomach and a pain in my heart. Here we where. I gazed upon it, the one place my tears fell freely, it was tragically beautiful. I heard the fence close and Ginny give a small gasp.

I bent down and placed the rose by the others, the ones I had brought before.

"_Cassie Copperfield_..." she whispered, her eyes turning towards me

I closed my eyes for a bit and breathed in deeply before I opened them once more and reached over to touch the marble headstone lightly, delicately. I motioned for Ginny to sit down on the bench provided and began, what I knew was to a very long, very hard conversation. I choose to stare at the beautiful headstone instead of the beautiful girl sitting next to me. I had a feeling this would be one of the very few times Ginny wouldn't interrupt me.

"It was the summer after my fourth year" I began "I had just been forced to endure witnessing Cedric being murdered and all that other crap. So I went against everyone, Sirius told me not to go outside the house, so I went outside the house. I needed to get out, I knew I was running but I wasn't sure if it was from my nightmares, the memories or myself"

I sighed, an unexpected smile gracing my face. "I met her in London. I was lost and actually really hungry and obviously not looking my best but then I saw this girl and she was looking at me, and after a bit we got to talking and I found myself relaxing. She ended up taking me home to hers and I met her parents and her siblings, I ate dinner and we agreed to meet up the following day. She was my escape from my real life and I was her escape from a boring summer"

I found the courage to glance at Ginny but her face softened when it saw my sad grin "it was amazing Gin. It took a few days and I was cured. She was so beautiful, in and out. I would tell her about my 'private education' and she would tell me what it was like at her school. I could tell her anything – as long as I changed it around a bit and everything but she didn't judge me, on the contrary she seemed to cling to me more afterwards. I don't know...I think it's a women's thing, as soon as we become more dysfunctional you want us more"

She had a small smile on her face and I chose to look again at the gravestone, finding myself relax somewhat "she thought I needed faith" I laughed bitterly "she was so confident it was faith that could pull me through my struggles. She was Christian you see, and very much into the belief that it was the right way or the right path but she never pushed. We'd spend ages of that summer, just talking about the different aspects of religion, not just hers but other people's too. I had _so _many questions" I laughed again, softly, a somewhat glassy look appearing in my eyes as I remembered "I must have been like a two year old, so full of questions. She welcomed them too and tired to answer as best as she could. And I was happy. I was free and I felt as though, given time, she was someone I could end up falling in love with"

I snorted somewhat, an acidic expression crossing my face "but of course _Harry Potter _isn't allowed any of that. Anything that makes him feel good and pure." I closed my eyes, my head turning towards the sky "it was the last week of summer when everything went wrong. I was invited to her house, I was now a regular feature there, her parents loved me and I loved to play with her siblings, you should have seen them Gin, they were the cutest kids in the world. But when I got there, it was too quite. I knew something was off, something was wrong. I actually forgot she had gone to her Nan's...she wasn't there"

I grit my teeth, fisting my hands in the pockets of my jackets, trying to control the sudden anger that washed over me "it was a trap. One of the death eaters had seen me with her and had told his _master_. I spent two day's with them Ginny. Two days with hot pokers, the cruciatus and a constant reminder that he would kill her. That he would take me to her. It was two days and two nights of non-stop torture" I laughed bitterly again, finding no humour and not looking at her as a small tear trickled down her face. My voice shone with emotions and my plans to be as unresponsive as possible died as my pain took over "I was never as week as I was then. Voldemort wanted to prolong my suffering, he was scared of killing me at that moment, still not sure whether it would back fire or not. He...he...he put me under the imperious and sent me to Cassie's house" I whispered to her and her face filled with dread, she could see where this was going.

A tear fell from my eyes as I cocked my head to the side like a curious child as I gazed, for the millionth time at her grave "her whole family had come back from visiting her Nan. It was evening and Voldemort made sure that we wouldn't be interrupted. I fought it Ginny, I swear on everything I fought it. But I had no strength...and it was useless. I...watched as I killed her father. He was so kind; I'll never forget his face Ginny, not for as long as I live. Her mum..._My God_ her_ mum_... She looked so _betrayed_ as she shielded her youngest son from me. So angry at me. So hateful. But she couldn't block the green light from taking them both"

I felt the lump on my throat reach gigantic proportions and I gulped twice, finding my voice harsh and cold as I spoke. I was hollow and I didn't want to see Ginny's face as she cried soft tears, probably staring at me in horror "her sister, this cute little girl with blonde hair and the most amazing navy eyes you'd ever see in your life, looked at me with such horror...I remember thinking if I had ever wanted a child...that I'd want them to be like her. That was when I was faced with Cassie. But I was still fighting against the spell, still trying desperately to fight it. And I thought he was going to make me kill her and...I almost wanted him too because I could see it in her face, she couldn't take much more, she had just watched her whole family be killed by m..." I rubbed my eyes angrily

I finally couldn't take it any longer and started sobbing, my hands in my head "he made me...he made me..._God Ginny_, I took her then...I raped her there...right in front of the dead bodies of her parents"

"But something burst inside me; I had never felt more powerful in my entire life. I watched as she screamed and kicked at me, before breaking down and sobbing, always asking "_Why Harry, why?"_" I swallowed "I managed to break away from the spell in time...not before I fucked her like she was an animal but before I was made to kill her. It was meant to be beautiful for her, it was meant to happen when she chose and with whom she chose it with but she got me instead. Beauty and the beast." I shook my head, gritting my teeth, as I spoke with so much venom in my voice I was surprised Ginny didn't move away from me from where she sat. "The Order got there eventually. I had killed three...maybe four death eaters and was stupidly in my anger going after Voldemort. When everything had calmed down, she was taken to hospital and I gave permission for Dumbledore to look inside my head. I didn't want to tell my Uncles what I had done. I will never forget the look on her face when I stepped into her room, she was beyond pained. Trashing in her sleep, nightmares... she died soon after. I never really realised how fucking screwed up this world is until I did the things I did to her...they told me it wasn't my fault, Ron...Hermione but I know it was... I _know_ it was"

I stood up, walking over to her, placing my fingers to my lips and giving them a kiss before touching my fingers to her grave. It was then I was sure Ginny noticed the other graves, four other ones, each holding a different Copperfield. Five tombstones, five people I had murdered.

"So I had this place made for them. Five beautiful graves surrounded by a picket fence, with their favourite flowers. I _miss _them...I miss _her_. She was my girl." I sighed, finally looking Ginny in the face, she too had stood up. Her eyes were drawn and defensive. "That's why I have the cross, as a reminder, that I have to keep living, so that I can endure my memories and move on, so that I can help as many people as I can because I hope that one day..._someday, _she'll forgive me"

I was finished. The story was finished. But not the hollow tone to my voice, not the cold, detached look. A few moments passed and Ginny was still quiet. I was beginning to grow worried. Usually Ginny was rather vocalised, she said what was in her head.

"I'm...I'm sorry"

I said it because I didn't know what else to say. It was obviously _not _the right thing to say because for a split second she looked annoyed, but then her face turned blank once more. But she wasn't doing anything, she wasn't saying anything and I panicked, because I wanted to reassure her I was in control, I wasn't the same scared little kid anymore, I'd grown up, I was a better man, so I did what I'd known other 'grown up men' did, especially when they least wanted too

"I love you" I blurt out. She looked shocked for a minute and I saw different emotions overtaking her, but in the blink of an eye they were gone. She was becoming _dethatched. _

Silence

"I...I want to go home now"

That was the first time Ginny Weasley broke my heart.

She walked ahead of me this time, and I was glad. It gave enough time for me to look once more at the place they where buried, it gave me enough time to say my goodbyes and it gave me enough time to wipe away the small tears with my hand. The drive back was silent.

It wasn't comfortable

It wasn't nice

It filled me with dread

Tomorrow was the wedding. Tomorrow I'd have to dance with the girl I was in love with in front of everyone and pretend that I was enjoying it, when In fact it would be tearing me apart. Bit by bit. Tomorrow I'd have to look into the smiling faces of everyone as I pretended to be happy, as I pretended that I hadn't pushed aside my fears for the women I love. You know when you tell someone something, and you hope for a certain reaction and they give you something different? The feeling that came with that experience making itself known.

As we drove past the busy streets and she never once looked at me, I realised suddenly with a dead heart that I had been foolish and stupid.

Because how can someone like her, ever love someone like me?

* * *

**AN: **

**Don't kill Ginny!**

**Sorry about the long wait, not going to make excuses. hope the chapter was worth it? :P**

**Oh and thank you for reviewing, even you lot who wish i'd just hurry up and write :) **

** the grammer and spelling! I am sorry, but i DO have excuses? - English is not my first language, i don't have a beta and i just..suck at it? :P  
**

**1 more thing - people seemed to want either, 'let ron and harry beat the crap out of each other' or 'please don't let ron get too mad" i tried to find a mixture?**

**hope i didn't disappoint with the cassie bit & that it wasn't **too **predictable, i know you've been waiting**

**ONE more thing..Harry's not in love with her...it's guilt, you ever felt you're soley responsible for someone else's pain? That's one heck of an emotion to carry around, even more so when that person dies  
**

_HyperActiveMonkey_ :)

Ciao!


	11. Stand By Me

Anne Frank - "_We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same"_

* * *

_What Goes Around Comes Around_

Stand By Me

I felt numb.

I was lying in bed, my hands resting behind my head, staring blankly at the ceiling, wondering just what on _earth _it was that made the day go in such a direction. Ginny hadn't looked at me, at all. We had come home well enough and the others had noticed our silence but mercifully remained silent themselves. I felt bad though, I'd spotted Molly's sad looks as she gazed worriedly between myself and her daughter. Ron and Hermione hadn't commented but after Hermione had gone up to talk to Ginny, she would then glance at me in exasperation for the rest of the evening, like I should have known what had set Ginny off. I was beginning to regret telling her I loved her.

But I didn't want to regret it because it had made me happy to be honest about the way I felt, freeing almost. But I was brought back to reality soon enough.

I groaned angrily and pushed myself of from the bed which moaned under the added pressure. I tired my hardest not to stomp like a little kid as I made my way towards the kitchen, finding myself in need for some hot chocolate in hopes that it would sooth me to sleep. Mooney would kill me if was at his wedding looking like the dead, besides this was going to be the happiest day of his life; I sure as hell wouldn't ruin it. It was late, but the windows had the curtains opened which allowed me to navigate my way down the stairs with some of the light that came up. I skipped around the last three parts of the stairs, the ones that Ron had taught me long ago squeaked and would be sure to awaken another member of the house. When I got to the kitchen, its light was already on and I found myself almost unsurprised to see Hermione, sitting patiently like she was waiting for something. A small smile fitted itself on my face; I would bet anything she was hopping to run into me.

"Hey"

She looked up and smiled too, taking a sip of her own hot chocolate "Hey"

I made a hot chocolate for myself and we sat in silence for a bit, ignoring the late hour. But I could practically see her bouncing in her seat and trying to hide a grin I told her "What is it Hermione?"

"You're an idiot" she gushed out, frowning at me from across from where I was sitting

"I know"

She eyed me then "She's terribly confused"

I put my drink down slowly "...confused?" I thought I made everything pretty clear "what on earth is she confused about? – I should be the one confused. I _am_ the one confused"

She huffed at me and by the tone of her voice I knew immediately she thought this conversation should never of have happened in the first place "she says you told her about Cassie?"

"I did" I said in a tone that sparked with nonchalance

She eyed me again "Harry...I don't think you realise how you talk about her"

I raised my eyebrows "Who? Ginny?"

She sighed, impatience "no, Cassie. I mean, sometimes when you talked about her your voice..."

I frowned "my voice what?"

"You want me to be honest don't you?"

I looked at her somewhat warily "Yes"

"Harry, when you talk about Cassie, you talk as though she is some...lost love. Your voice turns practically religious with devotion and I'm sure it's hard for Ginny to hear you talk about someone like that"

"No I don't"

"Yes, you do" she told me, looking at me with a form of a pity expression. I hate pity, I didn't want it and I didn't need it.

I grit my teeth, holding the mug of hot chocolate, which I hadn't taken much of a sip off, with both hands "Hermione" I said slowly, because for once I didn't need to reassure myself, I needed to reassure her. I knew I didn't love Cassie "I _don't _love Cassie. I've _never _loved Cassie. But please, do tell me, if you were in my position and it was Ron, say...in our fourth year. You're a smart girl, I'm sure it had crossed your mind that you _could _fall in love with him. And that, by some miracle, it could be wonderful and everything you never knew you needed and then..." I smiled bitterly "then _you _get tortured, _you _kill his family and then _you _do all the things I did...how can you _not _end up talking about him like that?"

I sighed angrily, rubbing my eyes. I'd probably confused her "I'm selfish because I'm in turmoil. I should regret ever knowing her, because knowing her meant she ended up dying but I don't because in a lot of ways she saved me that summer. She saved me from myself and my depression. Ginny need's to understand Cassie isn't going to go away suddenly because I've...developed feelings for Ginny. Cassie is part of who I am. Like an old friend who's helped to change your life"

She closed her eyes briefly before looking into my own "Harry, I think, before Ginny sorts herself out and sorts your relationship, I think _you_ need to sort yourself out. Ron and I and everyone else, have told you a million times and we will continue to tell you a million times more if we need to. _It is not your fault_" she must have seen my grimace, or my usual disbelieving face because she pressed on, as though never interrupted but with a new fire I hadn't heard from her in a while. "You were _torture _Harry. You don't talk about it, and it isn't hard to see how it kills you inside. You think we don't realise? Us, me and Ron who've known you for so long and been through your ups and downs" she shook her head, sadly and I tore my eyes away from hers because they looked so heart broken that I felt guilty I was making Hermione feel that way "I know you feel week. You feel as though it is your fault, because yes, you've fought the imperious before and broke through but I saw the way you looked afterwards Harry...those scars.... the burn marks..." she sniffed, and I turned my head away in shame "God only knows what they did to you, but how can any of your relationships ever work Harry if your always waiting for something to happen to them? If you're always waiting for them to think they can do better?"

It was unnerving how well she knew me, but I wasn't surprised. It wasn't long before I was across the room and was holding her in my arms, feeling small wet tears on my shoulder. Hermione had cried several times before but it never become something easy to watch. I could tell she was sad for me, sad that I thought I was broken and she never hesitated to tell me I was better than I made myself out to be. But I never disserved someone like Hermione but I sure as hell needed her in my life. I sighed for the millionth time today and kissed her gently on the forehead as she straightened up and sniffed the last reminders of her tears.

She sniffed once more and looked at me "She said you told her you loved her" she whispered softly

I closed my eyes slowly, titled my head up words and breathed in deeply, a smile finding its way through to my face "I did"

When I opened my eyes Hermione was gazing at me affectionately and her face told me she wanted me to keep talking. I didn't know I wanted to until now. Now I felt as though I needed to confess and whilst Hermione could annoy the crap out of me and pressure me to say thing' s I wasn't ready too, I was grateful because I wanted to now. I really did. I hugged her closer to me as she laid her head on my shoulder.

"It's crazy 'Mione, she's not perfect. She swears too much, she has too much pride and ego" Hermione looked up at me and raised an eyebrow, I laughed "yes, I know I do too but you can't possibly imagine how many fights we've had because of this. Or maybe you can...we aren't exactly 'subtle' about them. When it's her time of the month she has more homicidal tendencies than any other women I have ever known!" I chuckled "we fight as though we're on opposing teams and we argue like an old married couple. She doesn't believe in herself and hardly lets anyone in. But _my God_ Hermione, there are so many good, fantastic thing's about Ginny"

My smile grew wide and I knew there was pride in my voice, pride that I could love such a women and Hermione smiled widely at me, never having heard me speak of someone the way I was. "She's feisty, loyal and has a great sense of humour. She can make me feel on top of the world or put me straight in my place. She's got so much compassion" I smiled affectionately, turning my head to look at Hermione "she bites her lips when she nervous or concentrating and it drives me crazy! And I could spend a day doing nothing and it would be okay, it would be an adventure all on it's on, as long as I'm with her..."

I felt my smile slowly slipping from my face, a sadness coming to my eyes and I whispered, even though there was no one around "And sometimes I picture the future, just the everyday things, and I always see myself coming home to her. And I get such a feeling in my heart Hermione...I feel so much hope and joy and _love_, that it scares me. Because every time I see the future, she's always there. She's always there and I don't want it any other way"

I didn't have to explain it any further just how much picturing that scared me, Hermione understood. I didn't have to tell her that I was sorry I couldn't let go of Cassie and the guilt, she understood. And I'm sure, what she understood the most, was that I was wholly and irreversibly in love with Ginny Weasley.

And I liked it.

_~*~*~_

The time had come. After my conversation with Hermione had died with our parting words, we both escaped to our rooms, ready to sleep. When the morning came Molly awoke everyone at dawn, ushering the males out to Grimmauld place, whilst the females came over to the Borrow to get ready. I couldn't stop smiling, even though I had been unable to catch a glimpse of Ginny, my pain was quickly forgotten by Uncle Remus' face, he looked both positively beaming with happiness and rather like he was about to throw up with nerves too. It was a funny combination, but I'd distantly remembered Sirius being ten times worse, when I mentioned this it seemed to calm Remus down, whilst making Sirius actually blush.

We made it to the Church (neither Tonks nor Remus were religious but Tonk's muggle father was), the church was spectacular, leaving the small group of people attending the wedding to gasp in awe at the simple yet powerful atmosphere that resided in the small church. We managed to get Remus to the alter without any problems, and I threatened Sirius with Lexy if he pranked Remus now, he pouted and seemed about to protest but catching his wife's raised eyebrows he relented.

It all passed rather quickly for me, apart from a few specific moments that I knew I would cherish for the rest of my life. I would always remember standing up with the groom, whose smile was glowing and would widen as soon as he saw his fiancée begin the walk down the aisle to him. I would remember Ron and Hermione, as they beamed at each other, completely in their own bubble, and a look in their eyes that told me they knew it would be them in a few years time. But mostly, I would remember Ginny, the way the green bridesmaid dress she wore hugged her curves, or her brilliant smile as she finally, after what felt like so long, looked me in the eyes, never leaving my line of vision as she slowly made her way up the aisle, and I would remember being in my own world as she did so, so distracted by her beauty and elegance it took Remus to chuckle out loud and a dig to my stomach from Sirius to finally close my opened mouth.

From the actual ceremony, came the reception that everyone portkeyed too. It was in a hall in Scotland, littered with lights and a huge Christmas tree that stood in corner. After embarrassing both Uncle Remus in my best man speech and happily welcoming Aunt 'Tonky' officially, the bride and groom stepped out on to the dance floor, with happy smiles and an insane amount of disere burning in their eyes, I was half expecting Molly to come over and somehow shield her children's eyes with her hand, but I ended up instead spotting her sitting closely with Arthur, as they embraced and drank happily.

I was sitting in an empty table, happily enough to watch the other couples dance around in the dance floor to the slow song. I looked up when I felt someone standing behind me.

I saw the hand outstretch towards me before I glanced at the face "would you like to dance?"

I placed my glass on the table, my smile growing with each second "I'd love to"

I wasn't sure who was holding the others hand more tightly in their own, but I smiled crookedly when I realised the tingles where still their, the same raw electric current that ran through my body at her touch.

We got to the dance floor, not noticing the faces that glanced at us and stared. We were too lost in our own little world. The song began in the background, as she placed her hands on my neck, mine coming to rest obediently at her waist. Her hair was curled and it lay rested on her shoulders and her back, and I had that almost uncontrolled urge to run my hands through them but found the strength to keep them where instead.

I hummed the familiar song and inched my face closer to hers as we danced gently on the floor. Her head titled towards mine, our faces inches apart as she closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry" she whispered

I sighed "No, _I'm _sorry"

She shook her head and opened her eyes and was about to speak, but I didn't want her apologies because I knew she was sorry. Her eyes were sincere and regretful. I knew she was sorry so I didn't need her apology, nor would it bring me any joy in hearing it from her. "It's okay" I whispered back to her, a hand coming to cup and rub my thumb over her cheek delicately as her eyes fluttered to a close once more. A slow smile graced her face and she opened her eyes once more to look into mine.

"Do you really love me?" she asked, her voice trying to stay confident

The song turned painfully slow and I desperately wanted to pull her closer, to let the small space between our bodies die and give way to an embrace that I knew was only ours.

I brushed my lips against her forehead "I do"

She paused for a minute before sighing "Thank you"

_Thank you?_

I pulled back and saw her pained face "I'm sorry, I believe you I just...I can't say it back" she probably saw the hurt expression I was trying to hold back suddenly and whispered to me in a rushed tone "but Harry, I like you, I really, _really _do and I can love you! Just not now-"

I found myself clenching my teeth, not wanting to show her how it hurt, before trying to smile a small smile for her. I cupped both hers cheeks in my hand as her small hands came to grip the front of my tux tightly "ssh, ssh. It's okay, it's okay" she was shaking her head and seemed close to tears "no, it is. It's okay. It takes time" I told her, kissing her forehead once more, kissing her cheeks, her nose "we got time"

I was thankful no one from her family had come and demanded to know what was going on, they chose instead to sit in one large table, leaving the dance floor to myself, Ginny and a few other people. I could see from the corner of my eyes that Ron was speaking, but he didn't look mad. I would have bet all the money in my vault he was on my side. It was the type of guy Ron was.

I looked at her "its okay that you don't love me. I love you enough for the both of us" I told her, smiling arrogantly in an exaggerated manner and it made her smile up at me "but when you say it to me, I want you to mean it, I want you to feel it completely, so...I'll wait"

She shook her head in a bemused way and titled her head to the side. I thought she looked adorable "How do you always know what to say? And dancing?" she seemed to only realise that we where _both _dancing as one, flawlessly. She quickly took her eyes away from my feet to capture me staring at her, not once glancing down as I twirled her and caught her as she breathlessly looked up at me

I could see Sirius beaming at me from where he sat and I laughed softly "My parents left me journals, of their adventures and what not, and I would read a way my dad would try and woo my mum and then when I'd read her journals I would get exactly what she thought of it. Most of the time, my dad knew exactly what he was doing but mum was very good at pretending it didn't make her '_heart flutter like a little girl'_" I told her, grinning from ear to ear as we danced some more "and the dancing...well Sirius got me lessons a long time ago when I read in mum's journal, more than once mind you, that she'd love if she ever had a son, for him to be able to dance like dad did in their dates"

She smiled tenderly up at me, rubbing my cheek gently with one of her hands till I closed my eyes at the sensation "it must be so nice, to still have something to remind you of them other than the pictures"

I couldn't really concentrate with what she was doing "hmmm..."

She laughed "so, was all the flirting and the pretty little talks that has made every female in Hogwarts _swoon_ at your feet, was that all from your dad?"

I laughed too, smiling when she winked at me "Well, say for example, if I was my dad _right now_, he would say, 'My God Ginny, you look...absolutely breath-taking. I think you outshine the bride even'" she laughed as I tried to change my voice and emphasis. She blushed the famous Weasley red that I loved so much when she realised I was being serious "and _I, _the seventeen year old Harry Potter, would most likely say something towards the line of "Shit Ginny you're hot. Want to find an empty room?"

She laughed as I winked and flashed a saucy smile at her "I see the difference now, thanks' so much _Harry"_

When her chuckles died down, I kissed her on the nose softly once more "but seriously Ginny, you do look beautiful"

She blushed again "thank you" she eyed me up then "you look rather handsome yourself, I like you in a tux"

I grinned smugly "I know"

She lightly smacked my arm, smiling "Twit"

"Your twit" I told her as I leaned down and kissed her gently on the corner of the mouth

She seemed to hum in pleasure "damn right" she muttered

I laughed to myself and finally pulled her closer, till there was no air, or space covering our bodies as we slowly circled on the spot.

She leaned her head on my shoulders as her hands came once again around my neck and I placed my hands back on her waist "I feel greedy" she whispered to me "but can you say it again?"

I knew stright away what it was that she wanted. And because I couldn't ever to tell her no, nor did I find myself wanting too I told her, hoping she could hear in my voice the very emotion that was pumping happily all around my body, from my toes all the way to my head "_I love you_"

I couldn't stop myself any longer as I saw her happy, contented smile. I leaned down and finally brought my lips to hers, in a kiss so tender I knew I'd never be able to forget it. Her hands gripped my shirt as my own pressed against her waist. Her lips moved with mine, slow and lazy, excited and calm.

"Oi! Break it up, there's minors here" one of the twins shouted from the table, as he placed his hands in front of Ron's eyes. Ron's ears turned bright pink and he shoved against the twin, muttering unhappily as Hermione giggled beside him.

I laughed as Ginny blushed a brilliant red and buried her face in my chest. I held her to me as I glanced over the top of her head to the Weasley family and Hermione. Each and every one of them was beaming, even Ron. Molly looked as though she was dabbing at her eyes and Arthur's proud look told me all I needed to know. He was happy with Ginny's choice, but in a lot of ways he was happy with mine too. I was one of his kids.

I spotted Sirius holding Lexy to himself and shook my head in an amused manner as he raised his eyebrows suggestively. Lexy slapped him in the arm gently and turned to grin at me. Both Remus and Tonk's just laughed.

When the night came to a close and both Remus and Tonk's had been kissed, hugged and congratulated by everyone, they portkeyed off towards Australia to begin their honeymoon. I laced my hands in Ginny's as everyone began to make their way home. It was time to return to Grimmauld place.

I noticed her sad expression and lifted her hand to my lips "I'll see you tomorrow Gin, we're coming over for Christmas lunch" she nodded, a sad smile on her face. I couldn't bear to see it any longer so I told her "I'll bring your present..."

I laughed when beamed in excitement; almost bouncing on the spot "you _are _greedy today"

She stuck her tongue out at me "shut up"

I smirked and looked around quickly before crushing my mouth to hers, groaning when she ran her hands through my hair "Yummy..." she told me playfully

For a few mintues we just stood holding each other comfortably, till I could no longer hold the question that seemed to want to brust from inside me "So, I was wondering" I began, trying to be casual "will you be my girlfriend?" I asked her, somewhat nervous

She laughed at my expression "yes, I can't wait to tell everyone you're mine. I might have to tattoo 'Property of Ginny Weasley' somewhere on you..." she pretended to think, placing a finger on her chin "hmm..."

I laughed happily, kissed her once more, waved at the Weasley's who were now coming towards us and joined Sirius and Lexy to the Portkey home.

All the while keeping my eyes on the redhead who kept her eyes on mine

~*~*~

Christmas had come and gone. The only difference's this year were more subtle and you had to look closely to really notice them. Ron and Hermione sat closer together, his arms wrapped around her as they opened presents. Molly and Arthur smiled that little bit more this year. Fred and George played even more pranks. And this year, this year Ginny happily jumped into my arms as she opened her presents. We were always affectionate but this year it was different, everyone could tell. Whilst I still didn't kiss her when her parents where in the same room (or her many brothers for that matter), I would graze her cheek affectingly, kissing her all over her face as she giggled like crazy, or sit her in my lap, her head in my shoulder as she fell asleep to the warm soothing tones of the Weasley and Black family all together under one roof.

While Sirius and Lexy returned home, Molly insisted that I stayed over, I was sure she was going to 'talk' to me the following morning, properly hopping to corner me before we all went off to school.

It was at one in the morning, when the whole house had gone to sleep that thing's become interesting

I was half –asleep in the warm bed, the moonlight peaking through the window, as I lazed with a soft cotton shirt, barefoot and with only a pair of pyjama pants on. I felt a soft knock at the door and I sat upright, rubbing the bit of sleep from my eyes as I got ready for what I thought was a late night talk with Arthur or a quick conversation with Ron about _not _taking his sisters virture. But instead, I got Ginny in her Pj's, a rather..._naughty_ look upon her face.

Her white tank top clung to her, a bit small, leaving a bit of her creamy smooth skin exposed to me. she wore small, girly shorts that allowed me to glimpse her fantastic legs. I grinned and beckoned her to me as she closed the door behind her and approached my bed.

She kissed me "hi"

I gladly kissed her back "hi yourself" I reached out and grabbed her waist, laughing as she gave a small squeak as she landed on top of me, cradled on my lap "You're up late"

She smirked and pretended to pull away "I can go if you want?"

I held her closer to me and pouted "no"

She laughed softly and I sneaked my arm around her as I flicked my wrist, silencing the room. I pushed back against the headboard and brought her closer to me. She was lying in between my legs, her back against my chest as I trailed soft kisses against her neck. My hands held hers on top of her stomach. I kissed a sensitive spot below her ear, being rewarded with a soft husky moan. "not that I'm complaining that you're here-"

She moaned softly again "I can tell"

I smiled playfully and lifted my hips until I was pressed more firmly against her bum, she bit her lip and arched against me "I was about to ask why you came? Though, I'm _very_ glad that you came, regardless of your reasons"

She titled her head so she could she me "I came for my lesson"

"lesson?"

She nodded, reaching over to tease my lips with hers "yep" she told me, making a popping sound with her 'p' "I would hate to disappoint the boyfriend I just got"

I gently bit her shoulder, smiling as I felt her tense with pleasure "I see. Well, it with be rude for me to say no now wouldn't it?"

She smiled at me "it would"

I grinned before sighing dramatically "I guess we'll have to keep...trying and practicing until you get it just right"

She kissed my neck and turned in my arms, straddling me, pushing me against the bed till she was completely in control "you see...I'm very inexperience"

I laughed a bit "yeah...yeah I can tell"

I flipped her over, laughing at her giggles as I hovered up above her. I smiled tenderly; her giggles were dying out as she looked up at me. Her eyes twinkled with mischief and happiness. Her hair was already a bit messy and I found my hand, almost as if it had a mind of it's own, reach to gently grab a piece of her hair and twirl it in my fingers. I leaned down till my face was inches from her own "how about for this once...we just go with it"

I crushed my lips to hers as her fingers shot up to my hair, running through them. I moaned when her mouth opened for me, our tongues dancing to a tune we couldn't hear. She opened her legs further for me as I lay between them. Her hands came down, trailer under my shirt, exploring and touching my whole torso. When she gently brushed her delicate fingers on my nipples, I moaned into her neck.

I ran my hand slowly up her legs, to her thighs, bringing it up so that we were pressed more closely together; she moaned loudly when she felt it. She found a way to flip me on my back. I was already too strung on her, my senses filled with everything Ginny, so I didn't suppose it would be that hard. She grinned before kissing me and I gasped as she wined on me, with more experience than most women.

"Ah... Ginny"

I could feel her smirking against my lips as her hips moved with even more precision. I felt my hands shoot to her waist, holding her, preventing her for moving. I closed my eyes as she pouted.

"Ginny...if you keep doing that..." I tired to tell her but she kept kissing me, my chest even through my shirt, my cheeks, my neck and my lips. My lips she ravaged. I held on tighter to her waist, ducking out of the way for her next onslaught of kisses and plunging my face in the safety of her neck as we both seemed to hover in our positions. "Gin, stop, if you keep doing that tonight will end up being all about me...I want it to be about us"

She nodded her head and I looked up at her, she was still in the same position as she was before "no, today is about you"

"but-"

She kissed my forehead softly "no buts Harry. You did it for me once, remember? I...can I touch you"

Her voice was so innocent, her eyes so hesitant, so fearful of rejection that even the gentlemen in me (who was buried rather deep inside me somewhere) wouldn't of been able to of said no. And the horney seventeen year old boy in me? He really, _really _wanted her too.

Really, really

I grinned at her and laid back down, my hands laced behind my head "Please, feel free to go crazy"

She laughed softly "oh, I will" she told me, as she moved to my side before slowly, teasingly moving her hands evermore further south

"_Minx_" I told her huskily

Then she did what she'd set out to do, with all the experience and confidence only a much older women possessed

~*~*~

It was an hour later that we both finally relaxed. I had insisted after she'd helped me with my...little problem, that I should return the favour. I mean, it was common curtsey and I sure as hell enjoyed it too. It was a win-win situation.

She rested her head on my chest as we wrapped our hands around each other. I shifted slightly to lift the blanket over us somewhat, till it was up to our shoulders, and we were wrapped in our own protective cocoon. I kissed her head lightly, lovingly.

"Hmm...Gin you got to go to sleep baby"

She groaned softly and snuggled further into me, I laughed. Reaching out I tickled her till she was withering in the bed, her legs flying everywhere as her giggles erupted from her mouth

"Okay!" she laughed "okay, uncle!"

I laughed too "al'righty, I'll see you tomorrow"

She huffed as I laid back on the bed, every intention of sleeping. She rolled over of me and on to the floor. Her shirt was crumbled, her shorts were creased and she wore a look on her face were you _knew_, without a shadow of doubt, _exactly _what she'd been doing. I smiled lazily as she blushed somewhat.

She seemed hesitant for a moment before reaching out towards my stomach (where my shirt had been absent a long time ago) and lightly traced the tattoo. My muscles tensed, my breathing hitched but I swore I could have felt my heart melt when she slowly bent down and placed a kiss on the tattoo, and I knew, like one of those weird realisation moments that you sometimes got, that she accepted it. She was going to try. As she bent down and placed another slow, tender kiss on my scar she solidified something I had known all long.

I would always, no matter what, through all the trails, the pains and joy's, I would always love Ginny Weasley.

I closed my eyes at the same moment the door closed and for those few minutes before I drifted into unconscious, I had never felt happier in my entire life.

* * *

AN: I'm curious to read what you all think; I hope the story isn't boring you just yet! I've planned a roller coaster ride for these two :P

Review?

_HyperActiveMonkey =)_


	12. Toujours

Toujours

[ _always _]

"_You know it is love when you want to share everything with her, even her pain. You know it is love when you can't stop thinking about her. You know it is love when you'd rather be in a relationship but apart than not in a relationship at all. But, most of all, you know it is love when your happiness is dependent upon hers. At least that's how I know." - _Robert Le Branch

My relationship with Ginny didn't really feel much different than what we'd always been doing, or acted around each other, just everything was more 'out there' than before. Nothing really felt much different, apart from a few key things. I could now happily show her just how much I cared, I could look at her and stare deep into her eyes in the middle of the corridor with all the love and passion I felt and not have to fight so hard to hold it back, to hide it. I didn't beat up or threaten Ginny's boyfriends. That guy was now me, and for the very first time, I was extremely happy with her choice. I mean, she had great taste.

We'd been going out for a few weeks now and everything was amazing. I was happy. I hadn't been happy for such a _long _time now, and I'm still always waiting for that thing that's going to come and ruin us. I'm weak because this girl makes me so happy; I don't know how I'd ever survive if something was to happen to her. I love her beyond measure or reason, and that frightens the shit out of me.

"What are you thinking about?" Ginny asks, stroking my hair as I gaze into the fire in the Gryffindor common room. After a long and stressful day, we're both where we want to be, alone and together, surrounded by soft Gryffindor colours and the quiet crackling of the logs burning in the fireplace, sending waves of carefree nonchalance in our direction. Ginny's sitting on my lap as I hold on to her, my arms around her waist, my head resting on her neck, breathing in her smell. Strawberries.

God, how I love that smell

"Hmmm" I murmur softly, nuzzling her neck. She laughs gently "Just thinking about us. How happy I am...how happy I want to make you"

She turns to look at me and holds me delicately between her hands, kissing me once, twice "you make me happy, Harry. The happiest I've ever been"

I smile proudly, a smug smirk then gracing my lips "I was also thinking about what great taste you have in boyfriends"

She laughs happily "Right...you weren't so keen on any of them before me and you"

"That's because none of them deserved you"

She laughs, a twinkle in her eyes "And you do?" she asks jokingly

For a small moment I cannot help but see the flash of images that pass through my head. A screaming girl, two small dead bodies on the ground, the absolute horror of the realisation of what I'd just done. I can't help it, you rarely ever can.

Ginny can see the hurt and sudden sadness in my eyes and she becomes worried, mortified by her choice of words "no, Harry I didn't mean –"

"I know you didn't." I shake my sudden mood off and stare dead straight into her pools of chocolate brown eyes "I know you didn't. And I _promise_ you, one day, I _will_ deserve you"

I lean my head against hers gently as we close our eyes, breathing in the comfort of each other, of being in love. At least I do, it still hurts she doesn't love me back. But...you know, these things take time.

_How much time?_

And because I want to be happy, and I want her to be happy and I don't want to feel like this anymore when I'm so in love, I suddenly take her head between my hands and kiss her. Ginny's surprise last only a moment before she's kissing me back, just as deeply as I'm kissing her. I flip her on her back as she kisses me with a sudden need I didn't know she possessed. I follow a trail of kisses, down past her soft lips, to her smooth neck, and bite gently, unable to stop myself from marking her. _Mine_, I think gently, as her gasp echoes around the otherwise quiet Gryffindor common room. _Mine_, I think, as I kiss the reddening mark on her neck gently and feel her hands squeeze my shirt in between her fingers. _Mine_ I think, as I glance into her face and search her eyes for an emotion I recognise so well now, an emotion I could swear was hinted at in her eyes.

_Mine_, I think. After everything I had done wrong in my life, I must of done something right, for her to allowed herself to be mine, the same way I am a hundred percent hers. My lips find their way back to hers as she runs her hands through my hair, moaning as I swirl my tongue with hers with expertise. Her moans send small electrical currents running through my body, making me shiver un-expectantly.

She stops kissing me to smile before attacking my mouth once more. The way she's wiggling underneath me is driving me crazy. I run my hands gently down her body, pausing briefly to tease the sides of her breast before moving to her hips, down to her thighs, gently opening her legs, so I could rest in between her. It takes a moment for her to wrap her legs around my hips and another moment for her to _notice._

We both pause mid-kiss. A second passes as we open our eyes and look at each other before we laugh simultaneously. I bury my face into her neck once more as she continues to chuckle. "Aargh, sorry, I can't help it" I tell her, slightly embarrassed.

She laughs gently, kissing my temple "it's okay, it kind of makes me... - proud – I suppose is the word, knowing I get Harry potter all...you know" She blushes and turns away.

I chuckle and let out a breath as I lean up to look at her face, one hand brushing away a stray hair. I smirk "you have no idea, just how _hard_, it is to control myself around you. God I swear, I just think of you and pfft. There's me thinking of Snape as a means of distraction for the next good thirty minutes" I grimace, pouting.

She laughs full out, kissing my forehead "That's icky"

I chuckle "Icky?"

"Yes icky" she smiles, grinning at me "but...really? You...get like that thinking about me?"

"Yub. Really, really"

She smiled shyly, hesitated for a moment and rubbed up against my crotch. I moaned loudly, my eyes fluttering close "Aww Gin, you minx"

She laughed, a look of soft awe on her face "Harry... -"she rubbed up against me again, harder. I moaned.

"Yes gin?" I asked, my face pained

She chuckled and must have taken pity on me, with one more rub, which quickly followed a loud distinctive groan of pleasure, she settled down. She blushed a fierce red all of a sudden and ducked her head. I smiled, curious, "what Gin?"

"I'm sleepy" she whispered, yawning.

I laughed and nodded, giving her head one last tender kiss, before getting up of her and helping her lift herself. She staggered a bit and I could finally really see how tired she really was. She rubbed her eyes and gathered herself as I willed my painful little problem to go away, shifting from foot to foot, an image of Snape and his infamous greasy hair appearing before my mind. I stuck my tongue out in horror, before noticing Ginny's smug smile, her eyes slowly resting on my crotch, were the impressive dent could be seen in my jeans, towards my face, slightly embarrassed and tired too.

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. "One of these days I'll make you so wet and ready, and then leave you frustrated, you'll feel sorry you're enjoying this moment"

She laughed, poked her tongue out at me and with my hand resting on her waist, walked towards the foot of the girl's staircase.

We stood face to face at the bottom. "It is Hogsmeade Saturday tomorrow, fancy going out?"

She smiled "I'd love too"

I kissed her on the nose "It's a date"

"It's a date" she repeated happily to me

I kissed her mouth gently and whispered for her ears alone "I love you"

Her hands came up to cup my face lightly "I know", she whispered back, with such intensity in her eyes, I felt my heart racing. '_Goodnight love'_, I thought, watching her blow me a kiss as she walked up the stairs to the girl's dormitory "_I really do love you – and it really does scares the shit out of me. _

~*~*~

Despite the happy hour spent together yesterday, it hadn't all been roses the first day, when we arrived in Hogwarts together. First, Dean had caused trouble on the train. The stupid wanker swaggered into our compartment, which held Neville, Luna, Ron and Hermione, and spotted Ginny sitting _very_ comfortably on my lap and well, as soon as I went to take a piss the stupid fuck thought to question me.

"You best be treating her right Potter" were his first words. As if the moron forgot two important things. One, he really shouldn't fuck with me and two, _he _didn't want her, and now he did? What's with these stupid little boys anyway? God, I was so sick and tired of this shit.

And then he kept rambling on, telling me how breaking up with Ginny had been a mistake, that when I'd fuck it up he'd be right there for her and all that shit. Now I've always been prone to hitting Ginny's boyfriends at one time or another and he was no exception.

I swung my clenched fist back and decked him straight on the nose. Dean fell to the ground, hand covering a bloody nose, eyes wide in shock. I didn't need the little prick telling me what I was fearing, didn't need him to voice it out loud. Fucking West Ham supporting prick.

"Aargh, fuck, this hurts, why-"

"Shut up Dean. Stay away from Ginny or I'll break your teeth as well"

He was about to same something when I raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to fucking say something to me. He paused for a moment with me towering above him, before he slowly got up, two hands cupping his nose and the small river of blood, and walked away. I stood still for a moment, almost regretting what would happen if Ginny found out, thought about it, and then went to take that piss.

And that wasn't even the half of it. All of a sudden the females were coming on to me like they were in heat or some shit like that. Suddenly, Harry Potter commits and boom! A sea of ex 'girlfriends' wanted the commitment I should have given them beforehand. I didn't really care, I was use to batting away girls when I didn't want them but now I had to think about Ginny, and just how much it would hurt her if she saw a girl coming on to me, which she did see, almost every other day. _That_ lead to quite a few arguments on its own, but it was Cho, who'd conveniently returned to fucking mess up my life that made Ginny snap.

"- and then Colin said 'oops' and I swear I saw Snape's mouth twitch"

I laughed, holding her closer to me. "Poor Colin, I'd hate to mess up the potion that way on a Friday afternoon, in Snape's class – wow, poor guy"

She kissed me in the mouth "I'm going to meet Hermione in the-"

"-Library" I smirked

She laughed too "Yes, the _library_, then I'll meet you downstairs okay? I won't be long"

"Okay love" I kissed her once more and she went, leaving me alone in the empty corridor. I began to walk slowly in the direction of the stairs, wanting to be downstairs and waiting for her before we went to Hogsmeade. Doing all the 'couple-ly' things, that...couples do?

I laugh to myself. '_God I'm still new at this' _

"What you laughing about Harry?" comes a voice from the past, exotic and soft.

I turn around, coming face to face with Cho. "Errr..." I breathe out, as I take a step back "Hi Cho?"

"Hi" she whispered, coming ever closer "so, you and the Weasley still on?"

I frown, turning to walk away "Yes, me and _Ginny_ are still dating."

She grabs my shoulder and turns me around "oh Harry I didn't mean it like that"

But she did, I knew it and so did she. Me and Cho had a very _long _history. It was _Cho_ who thought me most of what I really knew about having sex with girls. Cho had been... a mentor of sorts. When she first proposed the idea to me I was sixteen, angry and hurt, scarred beyond belief and supporting a very nasty temper. I was drunk from firewhiskey I'd managed to get Fred and George to send me and sitting alone in an empty room. She had walked on me completely pissed and before you knew it she was muttering the contraceptive spell as I awkwardly fumbled with my clothes. I remember praying that I'd stick it in the right place. Apparently I had, she was very satisfied. Or so I'm told, I can't remember it. Only the many times after that. So it was quite funny and horrifying too, when I realised what Ginny asked of me before. I use to be the student and suddenly your best friend asks you for a favour, and I was the teacher.

Cho was pretty, no man could deny that. She had delicate eyes and delicate features. Soft lips and curves in all the right places. She _always_ smelled good, _always_. It was one of her 'lessons' I'd picked up on, always smell your best. It was simple, but boy, her smell use to drive me crazy. She was absolutely stunning, Cho was, but she wasn't my Ginny. She had nothing on Ginny. I wonder if all men in love feel the same way. But judging by the looks Ron shoots Hermione when he thinks no one's noticing, I guess they do.

I snapped back to the present "Yeah well, I got to go, it was...nice seeing you Cho" I told her, trying to smile, before walking away again. And before I knew it, she'd grabbed me once more, turned me around, not so gently placed my head between her hands and kissed me, hard.

It took just one moment of shock and surprise, which only fueled her to keep going before I was pushing her away, forcefully, as she dug her nails into my chest, trying desperately to hold on to me.

"Harry?"

_Aww shit shit shit._

I gave her one final push off of me before I turned around. Ginny stood there, her eyes wide open, sad and tearful, gazing at me and Cho, who still had her claws dug into my chest.

"No no no, it's not like- it's – Ginny!" I shouted at her as she ran off

I pushed Cho completely off me "Fuck! Why Cho why?"

She seemed to snap out of herself "I'm sorry Harry, I don't know what got over me", she whispered before crying. Cho does this a lot.

"shit" I whisper to myself. Shit because I should run towards Ginny, I should explain, but Cho is crying and normally I wouldn't have given a shit, but I'm Ginny's Harry and I'm trying _so hard_ to be a good person. Cho was there for me when I was shitty, in the ways I wouldn't let Ginny be and I owed her.

"Oh Cho, you stupid beautiful girl" I told her, pulling her towards me as she cried on my neck. I smoothed down her hair "Everything will turn out okay, you'll see, I'm sure you meet a great guy soon"

After a bit I heard the tears stop, till there was nothing but sniffling and the occasional hiccup, she also doesn't cry pretty. I smiled softly at her and conjured a handkerchief for her to use.

"Thanks Harry, I just...I came here to tell you I'm leaving and I end up messing thing's for you and your girlfriend – I'm sorry"

I wiped a stray tear from her face "It's okay"

She gave me a skeptical look and I nodded, smirking "well it's not, but what you know. You're leaving? To where?"

"France"

'_France?_'I think. Well "_bonne chance_" I tell her

She laughed as I turned to walk away, already almost half running in Ginny's direction, her being my top priority. "vous parlez français?"

"oui, une jolie fille m'a enseigné" I shouted towards her as I rounded the corner, hearing her give me one last laugh. I had the odd feeling I would see her again in the years to come.

I searched everywhere. The common room, the grounds, the kitchen, I even went to Hogsmead before I spotted Ron to which I hid and ran in the opposite direction. I didn't want to have _that_ conversation just yet. Till finally, running out of options I went in look of Hermione, where she is the majority of her time, the library, either the library or in the Head girls room with Ron.

It didn't take me long to spot her. I did my best to half run-half walk towards her, always keeping an eye out for nosy students. Normally avoiding bumping into a small kid trying to carry more books than his actual weight, I found her, surrounded by Potions books, writing Snape's essay that was due. _Next month. _

"Harry!" she half exiled as I came nearer, before I hushed her and made room for myself on her table "What's going on? Ginny went back to get her book, she's overdue and-"

"Hermione" I began, covering her mouth with my hands, before I explained everything with Cho and Ginny running of and me spending the next hour looking for her.

She batted my hand away in the end and sighed, closing her eyes. "let me guess, you want to tell you where she most likely is?"

"Yes" I asked, putting on my best puppy dog eyes

"I don't know if I should Harry, she properly just wants to be by herself for a bit"

I felt myself going angry all of a sudden "Hermione, _please_, I didn't mean to hurt her, and I don't want to spend any more minutes wasting my time, while Ginny's in pain, thinking I'm cheating on her. Please, just tell me where she is. I just want to explain"

Hermione slapped me gently "That's for standing around talking to Cho when you should have gone with Ginny"

"ow" I whispered, rubbing my check

"she's in the head girls room, I gave her the password ages ago"

I kissed her check quickly "thanks 'Mione you're the best" I turned to go before turning back to her "Just...maybe stop hanging round with Ginny so much; you're so much more violent"

She raised her eyebrows and before she could hex me I took of sprinting through the library.

~*~*~

I found Ginny crawled up into a ball in Hermione's bed, her eyes closed and I felt a sharp pain I'd been ignoring for the last thirty minutes threatening to cripple me. Ginny wasn't a crier, it was one of the many, many things I loved about her. But she had been crying. I did that.

A part of me didn't want to wake her up, but I wanted to sort this, and I would of sat there and waited for her to wake up on her own, but I needed to tell her how much I loved her, how I would never cheat on her because I cared so goddamn much. I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair "Ginny? Ginny? Wake up"

She moaned softly and stretched, before opening her eyes and spotting me. She frowned and sat up, a tired look in her eyes.

"Ginny listen" I began frantically " I _swear_ I didn't kiss her, I swear. One moment I was on my way downstairs and the next Cho's _right there_ in front of my face and she kissed me and-"

"Its okay" she tells me softly, her hands on her lap, her head against the headboard.

"Huh?"

She breathed deeply "its okay, I know. I saw her. Sweet Merlin, why do I always catch you and Cho?" I didn't think I was meant to comment so I stayed quiet "I trust you Harry, I just got caught up for a moment. I have to hear these girls always whispering and telling me how they're going to get you back" she laughed bitterly "or my _favourite '_guess what Harry did to me in the broom closet' game, which some of it is just unbelievable" but she still looked heart wrenchingly sad and hurt too. Her eyes looked pained beyond belief.

I hung my head, ashamed "Sorry"

I heard her sigh and after a moment, felt her lift my chin so that my eyes were on hers "It's okay"

I shook my head, a sadness inching its way in "No it's not. It's not but that's not me anymore. It's not, I'm different...I'm better. Because of you" she leaned her head against mine and breathed in "I'm better because of you"

She smiled gently and kissed me, a long lingering kiss "I know"

"Forgive me?" I ask her, kissing the mark on her neck tenderly, her eyes fluttering close

"Always"

~*~*~

It was much later, when we'd both walked out of Hermione's room with rumpled clothes, only managing to stop at the realisation of what Hermione and Ron did in the same bed, that we both stopped. Ginny had to go to the library and return the books she owed and I made myself comfortable in the Head common sofa, the one I'd hidden _Pride and Prejudice_ underneath the cushions, still sly reading it in my spare moments. I was almost finished.

"Hey mate, what you reading?"

My eyes popped out of my skull at Ron's voice before I rushed to hide the book. I coughed "Nothing, just some...girly trash lying around here... you know"

He laughed, heading towards Hermione's room, completely at ease as he began take of his jumper "Err Ron?"

He looked down, then to my horrified face and laughed "yeah, well...shut up"

I smiled, '_horny bastard' _ I sat up to head over to my own room, ready to get some shut eye before Ginny came up "oh Harry, guess what?"

I stopped at my door and turned toward him; smirking as he showed off his proud Cannons t-shirt that I knew would end up being part of Hermione's Pj's in the next week or so. What's with girls stealing our clothes anyhow? I've lost so many shirts to my little minx.

"I was on my way up, when I overheard Snape talking, turns out the little fucker is back. _Mummy_ got tired over at Durmstrang or whatever and well, thought they'd give Hogwarts another try"

A hundred different emotions settled there way in to my veins. I coughed, trying to look causal "Who?"

"The ferret of course. Malfoy's back"

* * *

_**Very**_ sorry about the **_late update_**... i know its been months...and months...and months... but you know life got in the way. It honestly takes 3x longer to write a story than to read it, but anyway, thing's got hectic, but if your still here reading, i'll be updating more regular than ever. Pinky promise =)

[ oh + the french right - not french speaker myself but its meant to be

H "Good Luck"

C "You speak french?"

H "Yes, a pretty girl thought me"

Pretty girl = cho ]

_HyperActiveMonkey_


	13. Invisible Scars

_"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."_

1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

I stood still for a moment, briefly registering Ron's cheeky smile before he flitted in Hermione's room. I sighed deeply, closed my eyes and leaned against the wall near my bedroom door. For one brief moment I felt nothing.

Then it hit me and I clutched at my chest as it poured into me. The all consuming hate, the anger, the sadness and the fear, it was all closing in till I was almost struggling to breath with all of it, my eyes turning the charcoal black I've come to fear so deeply. I straightened and fiercely covered my hands with my eyes, as if it would protect me from it all. I hate him. When I think of what he almost did, what he'd set out to do, I felt the slick feeling of furious hate course through my vines and perhaps what worried me most, was the little monster inside me who relished in it, who wanted me to spring from the room, find Malfoy and finish what I'd set out to do the last time I had seen him, before Ginny had stopped me. I paused, relaxed and breathed in deeply, slowly opening my eyes.

_Ginny_

"Fucking hell" I rubbed my eyes tiredly and walked into my room, shutting the door behind me as I laid out on my bed, waiting for her to come. I heard myself sigh angrily and got up, beginning to pace around my room. Clutching my hands into fists and rubbing my eyes angrily I as I walked back and forth, back and forth.

Over and over again

When I pictured her face, so full of hurt and confusion and sadness, the ever present anger would swell a tenfold until I was at my door, my hands on the door knob, twisting it to open. Then her face once more would appear before my eyes and the look of fear directed at me would send me back towards the angry pacing. And like an endless cycle, the thought of her shame towards herself, like it was her fault that he did it, made me once more turn toward the door, and once more her face would change before my eyes, her disapproval and hurt clear if I carried through with my intentions.

What were my intentions?

I signed for the millionth time and resumed my pacing. I'm not sure how long I walked my room for, too long to have been bothered by such a fact as keeping time or anything like that, I did though, at some stage, remove my shirt till I was completely shirtless. It felt more raw like that, as if the wave of self-anger and punishment would hurt me more if I showing skin, if I left my heart unprotected. Sometimes I would question if all I had done even meant I even had a heart, but then again, I must have, because Ginny certainly thought I did. She also had the strong belief that I would one day go to heaven, even if I didn't. I know I was going to hell, there was no God who would forgive someone like me for the things I had done, regardless of how much I wish it all had never happened and how badly I was sorry. Thinking of Ginny made me wonder where she was, reminding me that she had only meant to have gone to library and by all accounts she should have been back by now. A second of hesitation was all that was left before I almost flew towards the desk on the other side of the room, frantically pulling out the Marauders map, scanning desperately for her name.

"Jesus" I breathed out

She was fine, on her way up with Hermione. She was fine. I sat down on the bed and laid on my back, my hands on my face. _'Wow, I just had a mini panic attack'_. Without realising it, I had closed my eyes and fallen asleep, welcoming the nothingness of sleep, willing the pain and anger to go away.

~*~*~

The first thing I felt waking up was soft gentle fingers making shapes on my chest. The room had darkened; the only light present was the one streaming in from the window. I felt someone lean in and place their head upon my chest, tracing my tattoo with their fingers tenderly as if it was breakable. I knew who it was, of course I did, and If the feeling of peace and happiness that suddenly appeared inside of me at the immediate realisation of who it was next to me, because she did that to me just by being close or the mere thought of her, then the smell of strawberries would have told me. Either way she was here and I was happy. Just like that. I felt the covers over me, wiggled my toes and realised someone had taken my shoes and socks off, and...Yub, I was in my boxers. I smiled into the dark, turning my head to kiss her forehead gently.

"...It was you who took my clothes off right?" I whispered, smiling

She sighed dramatically and pouted "no. Ron did"

I frowned and sat up "What?"

She laughed and pushed me back down before snuggling herself closer to me "of course it was me you git, and it took a while. I kept getting distracted..."

I chuckled and turned on my side, my head rested on my curled arm as she faced me in the same position. A moment of stillness as I gazed at her, eyes that saw past the small smile and bright eyes and saw someone tired underneath it, someone who like me, lost that innocence all those years ago, and along with that innocence, that sense of childhood. I smiled at her, I couldn't help it, because I knew I found everything I ever wanted with her, everything I thought I wasn't allowed or hadn't needed, I found it all. I found it all in her.

I leaned forward and kissed her nose, her cheeks, the corner of her mouth as she breathed me in deeply and her eyes fluttered shut. I kissed her neck, and gently moved lower, kissing her chest, where her heart was underneath. I don't know why all of a sudden this moment become so tender, as if we were two lovers that would be parted with the morning light, but I wanted her to know how deeply I loved her, how much I liked who I had the possibility of becoming because of her. How she made me feel free.

I lifted my head as she placed a soft kiss on my lips, placing her hands once more above my heart as she did so, feeling the ever increasing thump thump sound.

"It's yours you know" I suddenly whispered, unashamedly looking into her eyes, seeing her beauty clearly in the moon light.

"What is?" she whispered back, her hands burning my skin with invisible need.

I stilled my hand on top of hers, above my chest and leaned in "My heart" I whispered back slowly, before kissing her. She kissed me back, hard, our bodies suddenly moving so she was on top of me as I frantically rushed to caress her skin, her hands sending small shots of pleasure as they ran through my hair. Our breathing increased, as I flipped her over and laid in between her, she gasped and once more attacked my mouth with feverish need, need I knew mirrored my own.

My hands trailer down her shirt, pausing only for a millionth of a second as I registered that it was my 'It's Magic' shirt before I gently lifted it up above her head and threw it on the other side of the room, awkwardly waving my hand towards the door, locking it. I gripped her hips firmly when I felt her nibble on my neck before gently biting it, feeling the faint small throb on my neck telling me she was marking me. I don't think either of us could really help it, it was our animagus forms recognising the mate of the other.

I think I even growled somewhere before I reached around and wrapped my hands around her waist, chuckling as she laughed in surprise. Her hair cascaded around her as she looked at me mischievously before she commenced to ride me.

"Oh...oh sweet Jesus" I breathed out, by now so aroused it was painful. She moaned deeply and rested her head in my neck as I expertly trailed my hands up her back, feeling her smooth porcelain skin underneath my sensitive fingers as I slowly unhooked her black bra, before throwing that too somewhere on the other side of the room. We both moaned at the skin to skin contact, basking in the intimacy of it all. She kissed me again as I opened my mouth to her, our tongues swirling and dancing in a rhythm they knew very well by now. She wiggled her herself into a more comfortable position and by doing so I felt myself pressed neatly into her, feeling the hint of warmth and Ginny.

I groaned and pulled back from her eager mouth "Gin, stop...we should stop-"

She clasped her hands on my face and said three words I least expected "Love me Harry"

My eyes wide in shock, I choked out "I do... I already do Gin, so bloody much"

She kissed me hard once more "No Potter, I mean_ love me_"

I held back a groan of pleasure, and reached to take her hands off mine, placing them in between mine and kissing them "Ginny? Don't think I don't want to, I really, _really _want too, I want to so badly make love to you and with you. But, we should talk. Malfoy-"

She placed her hands on my mouth quickly and a sadness fell upon her eyes before a sense of determination flittered into her smile "No Malfoy Harry. Not today. No Malfoy, or Voldemort or Death Eaters. There's no Ron and Hermione and Dean or Cho. There's no one else, but us" she kissed my scar tenderly, so much so I felt a small prickle of tears on my eyes, before I clenched them shut in emotion. "There's no one but us. Please Harry, love me, show me you do"

I still loved her enough then, that I would have stopped. The small feeling of '_this is not the time_' was still a percentage present in the back of my mind, this moment wasn't about me, it was all about her. But as I looked into her chocolate brown eyes I saw it. She loved me.

It was there, shinning so clearly and brightly I felt a small lump in my throat. I breathed in deeply and leaned my hands against hers. She was hiding it, she properly had been for a while, I could see it now. She properly hadn't known it herself but I knew what it was, because I knew that look. It was the way Arthur looked at Molly even after all those years of marriage, it was how I caught Ron looking at Hermione, or Sirius at Lexy, and Uncle Remus with Aunt Tonky. The all had the same look she was burning so fiercely into my heart. And just like that, I was mush into her hands. I wanted to love her right so badly.

I kissed her mouth gently, once, twice, three times, grinning to myself when I saw her victorious smile. I laid her down slowly on the bed and kissed everywhere i could on her chest, feeling the smooth soft skin underneath my mouth as I did my best to cherish her. Today was about us.

She ran her hands through my hair and played with my muscled back as I waved my hand a few times in the general direction of the entire room. She blinked and when she opened her eyes, I heard her gasp softly.

"Wow" she whispered, breathing in the scent and looking around, her eyes lighting up

I smiled delicately and couldn't stop myself from kissing her. The room had filled with crimson rose petals, all scattered around the room and the bed, with a few Hogwarts candles floating around us. The light on her skin made her glow and if possible, she looked even more beautiful. It was cheesy and corny, and in other circumstances Ginny wouldn't have appreciated it like the average girl would have. She wasn't that type, but she was a secret romantic, I knew that even before I found her trashy romance novels. My hands made their way down her body to her hips as I fingered her knickers. I looked at her, for her acceptance and saw nothing but complete trust and love. I smiled slowly, that would take some time getting use to. I leaned down once more to kiss her mouth before I slowly slipped her last piece of clothing from her; till she lifted her gloriously smooth legs and it went past her delicate ankles and ended up on the floor. I gazed at her, from her head to her toes, and felt for the first time, the absolute beauty of this moment. Of how powerful a moment like this could be and how I had rushed it with all the others.

Ginny blushed in embarrassment and attempted to duck her head in shyness but I leaned forward, almost laying on top of her once more, my body weight being held up by my elbow as I lifted one hand to her face and rose her chin so her eyes could meet mine.

"You are so beautiful Ginny" I said to her, kissing her tenderly "You really are"

She smiled at me, and kissed me once more before I straightened up and removed my boxers. It was one of those moments you would never be able to forget for the rest of your life. A moment that you could play in perfect clarity at any point throughout the rest of your years and still see it for the way it was. She looked beautiful, laying there, trusting me, loving me despite fearing how to. She looked so beautiful and my heart swelled with such a feeling of love and happiness that I knew, with such certainty it would normally have scared me, that I would love her for the rest of my life, for each day of forever.

For always

I whispered the contraceptive spell, watching my hand glow a baby blue underneath my palm as I laid it flat on her stomach. I looked into her eyes as I gently entered her, my eyes closing with the feeling "It's going to hurt a bit Gin"

She managed to smile sceptically and raised her eyebrow as her arms came around my shoulders, her hands playing with my hair.

I laughed softly, loving that even in moments like this, we were still us. "Okay, it might hurt a lot" I smiled at her, with all the love I held shinning from my eyes like a torch, knowing she could see it "but I promise I'll make it better love"

She kissed me fiercely then "I know Harry" and leaned her head against mine as I entered all the way, feeling her flinch at the pain. I clenched my teeth and paused, wanting her to adjust. After a few minutes of almost absolute discipline, because every instinct telling me just to 'hurry up' she gave me the get go but not before I told her, because I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I love you Ginny"

She kissed me hungrily once more "I know Harry, I know" she said. And I showed her just how much I loved her.

Twice

~*~*~

I woke up smiling, exhausted and felt around for Ginny, feeling her weight and warmth missing. I frowned and opened my eyes, yawning, looking around. She wasn't here.

'_Toilet_' I thought, stretching and getting up, hearing my stomach rumbling in hunger "I'm famished" I said out loud. The bedspread fell to the floor when the door opened and Hermione walked on in.

"Harry! Wake up, we've got a-- Oh my God!" Hermione shrieked, smacking her hands over her eyes

I laughed and walked behind her to shut the door "morning to you too 'Mione"

"Harry I can't believe-! You! You...Are you dressed?! This is quite an uncomfortable way to talk"

"Nope, five more minutes" I laughed at her, already finished pulling my boxers up and half way through my Armani jeans.

"Harry!" she wined

I laughed some more, waving my hand around the room, watching as the candles and the roses and the small red stain on the bed disappeared. "You can look now 'Mione, its safe"

She peeked through her fingers as I stood shirtless with an eyebrow raised for her to see "Well..."

I smirked "My, My, is Hermione flustered?"

"What? No! It's practically incest!" She sputtered

I laughed and walked over to her, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheeks as I walked to the en-suite bathroom to clean up "It's okay to be, it's pretty impressive" I told her winking

"Aargh" she exclaimed uncharacteristically – swapping at her cheek "Please!"

"Whatever Hermione" I chuckled, coming out with my brush, shoving it into my mouth "hey, have you seen Ginny? I thought she was in the bathroom but she's not here"

Hermione shock her head, seemingly trying to get out of her daze "Yes, I saw her downstairs eating with Ron but I came up to tell you we've got Heads meeting later on with-"

"Wait" I walked back in and rinsed my mouth, getting rid of the paste "You saw her? Downstairs?"

"Yes, that's just what I said. Now about this meeting-"

I frowned "What? Now?"

Hermione looked at me as if I'd knocked my head against a brick wall "Yes Harry, what's the matter with you? You know what; you don't even have to be there so I'll just do it"

She turned to go but saw my expression "Harry? What's wrong?"

I felt confused. Not the type where you don't understand what's going on, but when you cannot decide how you're feeling. I ran my hand through my hair and was unable to prevent myself from saying slowly "She's not...here"

Hermione came up beside me and felt my forehead "well you don't have a fever. She's downstairs Harry- why do you keep..." and slowly I could see the recognition dawn on her face. She took one look at me and one look at the room and gasped, her hand covering her mouth "You? You and Ginny?"

I managed to nod through my sudden mood and suddenly went to the other side of the room, angrily pulling a fresh navy blue jumper from my wardrobe and putting on my shoes.

I think Hermione would have smiled at the situation, her knowing how much I love Ginny but my face must have showed her that I wasn't in the mood for that. Hermione's not the smartest witch of her generation for no reason. She touched my shoulder gently and flinched when I angrily brushed her away, grabbing at the map and finding Ginny on her way up. I stormed out of the room, yanking the blue jumper over my head as I walked desperately towards the second floor where she was.

I ignored the many people who tried to stop and talk to me as I walked as fast I could without looking like I was in a rush, I would draw too much attention and someone was bound to follow me.

I rounded the corridor and heard both their voices before I saw them. It'd been a while since I had last seen him, but he looked the same to me as he did before. Arrogant, snotty and standing _way _to close to Ginny.

"Fuck off Malfoy, go bother someone else"

I saw him sneer at her "tut tut Weaslette, didn't your mummy ever teach you any manners?"

My heart thudded with hate, and like in slow motion I saw Ginny angrily pull out her wand, unable to stop herself from shaking with her own rage, watch as Malfoy's face changed and the glint of evil I knew in him so well begin to come out ever so slowly. Whilst he didn't remember what he did, I did and she did.

I shot a nasty cutting hex at him before Ginny could even point her wand in his direction, heard him scream in pain as I pushed Ginny aside and pummelled him in the face. His nose broke and his scream echoed around the corridor for a second till I silenced him, before hitting in the jaw, watching as he almost flew to the other end of the room, hitting the wall and falling unconscious. My nostrils flared as I tried to slow my breathing and relax. It took a few minutes of me casting a charm on Malfoy so he'd forget who'd hit him and clear the blood. In all that time Ginny didn't speak, until I turned around and stared at her, wand clutched tightly in her hand.

I took a step forward, hopping to give her some comfort but she flinched. I frowned and took another step forward, stopping when she pointed her wand at me angrily.

"Don't touch me"

"What? It's me Ginny, its Harry"

She shook her head angrily and briefly stared at the ceiling before looking back at me "You have to stop doing this Harry!"

I frowned and took a step back, looking at Malfoy who was pitifully slumped on the floor "what? Hitting Malfoy? God knows his deserves it Ginny"

She shook her head and took step forward and put her wand at my chest "No! Stop treating me like a child! I can look after myself!"

I stared at her ludicrously "What?" I shook my head "Please Ginny, let's just go upstairs, sit down and we can talk about this" I turned to walk away but stopped when I heard her voice.

"No" she whispered

I turned around and saw her, eyes lined with tears she wouldn't let fall, shoulders squared and wand hand unwavering from my direction "Ginny?" I asked, confused. Worried.

"I can't do this Harry! It's too much" she half shrieked

"What is?" I shouted at her, taking a stop in her direction before her flinching stopped me. She was flinching at me. "Ginny, please baby, what the fuck is going on? Your worrying me"

She balled her hands and pressed them against her eyes "I can't do this, it's too much"

"_What is_?!" I shouted at her, unable to stop myself. The fear and hurt was building up in waves, trying to break through my heart and drown me.

"You!" she half screamed

I took a step back and blinked "me?"

"Yes! You! It's you! And me! And US! It's too much Harry, I can't...I can't...do this anymore" she screamed at me, stepping back like a wild animal cornered. I stayed were I was, doing my best to act calmly. She wasn't saying what I thought she was, something must be wrong.

"Ginny I know your scared, I know, this-"I waved my hand in between me and her "scares me too Ginny but its okay, I'm not going to hurt you-"

She shook her head, her face tortured and her eyes unreadable as I struggled to look through the forming tears in mine.

"I can't Harry, I haven't even got over that bastard there and what he done, and this is just too much. I already care about you so much Harry, but no one is suppose to find their soul mate when their sixteen"

I felt a stabbing pain through my heart and took a step forward "_Please_, Ginny, _please_, don't do this. We can work through this together, we can be scared together. _Please Ginny_"

"No, I can't" she told me, her shoulders slumping

I felt a spike of anger run through my veins "so that's it? We make love yesterday and that's it? I tell you I love you! And boom, just like that you become too much of a coward to love me back! Never thought I'd say it- Ginny Weasley, the fucking coward"

I didn't even have time to conjure a shield before the hex hit me. I took a step back as the spell cut my chest, enough to draw blood that began to soak my shirt."Aargh! Ginny! What the fuck?" I screamed at her, lifting my hands to heal it, feeling the enormous pain it the skin to move only a little.

I had always thought she looked unbelievably sexy when she was angry. Her hair would be wild, a controlled fire cascading around her face. Her eyes would flare and a hint of gold would encircle those beautiful eyes I loved so much. I dropped my hands in shock when I looked at her face, the wound still causing stabs of pain in my chest, but none were greater than the pain I felt creep into my heart. Her face said it all. She was too scared to admit she loved me back. Too scared to love me. In a way I understood, we were the children of the war, we fought it and we won, but something like that leaves scars that we cannot see. Scars that stay and last and endure the happiness we sometimes get, until they turn into daemons that haunt us in the moments of our insecurity. I could only guess that she had woken up in the morning, surrounded by me and our love and got scared. Maybe I was selfish because I hadn't realised the extent Tom Riddle had fucked with her head all those years ago, but here was the evidence. He was gone and she was still scared. I was bitterly able to appreciate the irony. She was me. She was too afraid to love someone because they made her happy, free, brave and hopeful, but too many years of Voldemort's dormant had install a cage inside her mind, one that taught her not to love, because it hurts too much when it doesn't work out.

It was Malfoy. I knew she hadn't said enough yesterday, knew we should have talked, but I was caught up in us and what I saw in her eyes that I didn't stop. Having Malfoy here reminded Ginny of the risks. And I could understand, because if you loved someone the way I did, that person can end up owning your soul and you have to trust them to keep it safe. Even the bravest person would be scared.

She certainly was

I balled my hands into fist and clenched my teeth, the pitch night black colour over taking my usual green eye colour. "So...what do you want to do?" I managed to get out "I'm guessing you'd rather be on your own huh?" I nodded my head sarcastically and pretended to relax "fine, fine. We'll go our separate ways, just don't come anyway fucking near me"

The anguish in her eyes at my words almost stopped me "Do you think I wanted to love you? You did this to me! You made me love you, you made me care so fucking much. And now you're throwing it all away Gin" I turned to walk away before I turned to face her angrily once more "You don't think I was scared? I was terrified! I would wake up in the middle of the night and check to see if you were still breathing! I knew even when we were just friends that you were the most important person to me" I clenched my teeth and looked her dead in the eyes "Thanks so much Ginny, thank you for believing in me, for trusting in me enough to take care of you and love you"

I waved my hand, flinching at the cut in my chest. It healed in seconds but the blood stains were everywhere. It was then that I felt as if the very room was closing in on me and the air was trying to suffocate me. The oxygen I needed to breathe now making me feel sick with anger and hate. I had to leave; I didn't want her to see me like this. I stopped myself from laughing bitterly, I didn't want her to see me like this, because I knew it would cause her pain and I still loved her. I still loved her enough not to want her to be in pain; regardless of how fucking much I was hurting now.

I turned and walked away without looking back. The last thing I heard was the soft, heartbreaking sound of the woman I loved crying in pain.


	14. I'll make you remember

"_And Hansel said to Gretel 'let us drop these breadcrumbs...so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the cruelest of things...'" _

He felt the warm sunshine on his face, waking him from the peaceful sleep he had been having. Without opening his eyes, he let himself relax in the blissful happiness he found himself in; regardless of how early he was awake. There was a gentle breeze of a rare warm English summer that gently ruffled the curtains and the birds chirped happily outside, underneath the baby blue sky. It was the morning to the beginning of a perfect day.

He opened his sleepy eyes and wrapped his arms gently around the warm figure that was his wife. She slept facing him, her beautiful face an inch away from his own. He smiled happily, and ran one hand down her arm softly, leaning in to kiss the freckles he found there, before tracing the delicate features of her face, knowing he'd properly wake her up but unable to stop himself from touching her. He still could never fully comprehend just how much he loved her, knew it to be beyond measure, with the power to fill him up with all kinds of emotions. She made him powerful, both his greatest strength and his weakness.

He leaned in again and gently kissed her soft lips, once, twice, three times before he pulled back and hugged her closer to him, smiling widely when her eyes fluttered open, till beautiful chocolate brown eyes met his vivid green ones. His hand brushed against her cheek, and his smile widened upon noticing the glistening new gold ring on his hand.

"Morning wife" he whispered tenderly, leaning over to kiss her once more, unable to stop himself from doing so.

She smiled contently, and rolled on top of him, her eyes twinkling in mischief as he moaned happily, his body becoming ever more alert to her presence "Morning husband". She placed kisses down his neck, on his bare collarbone, to the long, still fresh looking scar that ran diagonally across his chest, before planting a big wet kiss on his cheek.

"Damn woman, you missed" he joked, moving so that her next kiss landed on his mouth "mmmm... better"

She laughed gently, twisting her hand to pinch him, laughing when he yelped "Aww, you big baby" she smiled

His face turned serous for a moment, an intense look of love spread over his features completely. She knew that look, it was the same look he'd worn since he was sixteen years old, the look that had once frightened her so much, but now did nothing more than make her feel warm, and safe and loved. He was about to open his mouth but she beat him to it.

"I love you"

His smile returned, larger than before "I love you too, tiger". Like usual, his happiness just added to her own, making her feel exuberant and carefree, ridiculous in some ways because she was _not _a morning person. She suddenly noticed the cheeky expression he wore underneath her, and she watched, suspicious, as his eyes darted around the room, towards the door. He grinned when he came to a stop at her face.

"Harry...?"

"How long do you think we have before my favourite girl wakes up?" he asked, leaning up to run kisses up her neck, to the sensitive place underneath her ear. He smirked when he heard her moan happily, becoming distracted by the feel of him.

"You're favourite girl huh?" she asked him breathlessly

He laughed and kissed her feverishly "Yes, sorry baby. But hey, you're my favourite woman?"

She laughed in to the following kisses "I thought your charms were meant to get better with age?" she asked him, wiggling her eyebrows

He growled, the sound coming from somewhere deep within him. His hand reached down to grasp her hip before pushing himself into her, smiling seductively when she felt _everything_, the friction becoming instantly unbearable.

Her eyes rolled in the back of her head for a bit till she seemed to shake herself and smirked down at him. He wiggled his hips a bit more, till she moaned in delight "ok..." she breathed out "some things _have _got better with age"

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist, grinding into her as much as he could. He waved a hand and the door shut, leaving them alone in the room, before waving it once more, casting a silencing charm on the room also.

"Bet you we can go twice before she wakes up?" He challenged playfully, caressing her bare back as he planted kisses to her chest.

She moaned happily and kissed his forehead gently "three times"

He grinned wildly "you're on" he told her, before he flipped her over, laughing as she gasped in surprise before she fastened her lips on his.

* * *

I grunted, giving one last thrust before I heard her scream in pleasure, her moans bouncing off the walls as our heart beats began the difficult job of slowing down. I let a sigh escape me as she started to talk shit in my ear.

"_That was amazing Harry!" _

Yeah, I've heard that one before

"_Sweet Merlin, I've never cum so hard"_

Yub, heard that one too

"_Wow...you're even better than my cousin"_

I raised an eyebrow as she continued to chatter on, oblivious to my incredulous look. _Huh_, _that's new_. I laughed to myself before I pushed her roughly off me_. _She stumbled a bit before getting a hold of herself against the wall. I bent down and gathered my trousers and yanked them up, covering myself from her spent but greedy gaze. I practically never wore boxers anymore, usually preferring to go commando these days.

It saved time.

I watched, amused in my own Slytherin-ish way as she struggled to lift her skirt and place it back correctly, her movements jerky. I straightened my tie and banished my cloak back to my room, before opening the door to the closet and leaving. I briefly heard her cry of protest, before I disappeared down the hall. Slowly walking down the stairs, I brushed off the guilt, the hurt, the anger and all those familiar emotions that came immediately after having sex with anyone that wasn't..._her. _

I was too fucking fed up of all this shit. It wasn't like I was cheating, even if I myself considered that I was. Which is pretty fucking confusing; I am, but I'm not?

After having sex with...with...what's her name? I think this one was called Sophie? You know what; I'll just call them _all_ Sophie. Anyway, now that fucking different_ Sophie's _was a regular occurrence, my conscience had returned in full force. As if that motherfuker had been on break and was now back on active duty, doing its best to make me feel like more of a shit then I already did. And guess who my conscience sounded like? It sounded like _everyone_.

When I had fucked that stupid sixth year hufflepuff, it had sounded like Sirius. Hufflepuff _Sophie_ had been really quite at first, but when I was finished with her she wouldn't stop fucking _talking_. My conscience-version of Sirius had mostly laughed at me and told me what a horney little cub I was being. But mostly it was just laughing.

It was like his voice in my head, not me imagining him in the room with us. That would have been beyond gross. Actually, it was fucking disgusting enough as it is, do you know how hard it is to have sex with someone when _she's _practically screaming in your ear with pleasure and your _Godfather_, one of the most important parental figures in you fucking life is _laughing_ at you. Sweet Merlin, I thought I was going to pass out from embarrassment.

But I got the job done in the end, even if I did rush it.

I've had everyone from Hermione, to Ron (yeah, I outright didn't have _any _sex when he threatened to chop Harry junior off) even Aunt Tonks, who I was still stubbornly going to call Aunt Tonky...maybe for the next ten years or so. There was this one time when I had Fred _and_ George in my ear. That was fucking crazy, but even I laughed. I stopped outright however, when I heard Cassie in my head. Every human, magical or otherwise, has their limits. Whether it be a limit to pain before they break down, or a limit to taking hurt from someone they love before they say 'enough is enough'. Whatever it was, we all have one, and in this case, she was mine.

* * *

I trudged back towards the Gryffindor lockers, pulling my sweaty, clinging Gryffindor Quidditch uniform off my chest. I breathed in deeply, letting the cool air attack my heated body, fighting the urge to run into the shower to fight the uncomfortable and stinging feeling of sweat and blood on a cut. Wanting to wash it off and forget about it. I could heal it, but recently my gratification for pain had swelled up and risen and settled back into my chest.

Again

The crowd was beginning to thin around the pitch, the players retiring to their respective lockers as the party in the Gryffindor common room started to grow. I knew who was in the crowd, surrounded by her friends. But I wasn't going to look, not at her beautiful face, or her vivid hair. I wouldn't dare glance at her big brown eyes or sneak a peek at her figure that I loved so much. Hearing her laugh in the hallway was painful enough as it was, _actually_ looking at her was close to unbearable. Even if I knew that her laugh was fake or that if I looked at her, I could see the deep resounding pain I knew she could hide from everyone in this world but me, I still wouldn't look.

I felt a not-so-subtle shove against my shoulder and angrily looked toward the aggressor. My gaze fell to the floor when I saw who it was. Ron had been..._Ron _about my break up with Ginny, or actually _her_ break-up with me. But I hadn't told him what happened, and apparently neither had Ginny, so, out of habit, Ron thought it was my fault, I knew he thought _I _was the one who had screwed things up. I wouldn't ever get use to that, no matter how much I had come to expect them to think badly of me, after all I did give them reason too. Nothing could hurt more than your best friend's low expectations of you or their indifference and casual acceptance of when you fucked up. It was like Ron was saying to me '_Yeah, you fucked up. What's new?_'

He was a couple steps ahead of me before he stopped and looked at me, his gaze softening when he noticed the look on my face, and the hand that was rubbing up against the spot where he had slammed against me. He looked at me, _really_ looked at me, his gaze questioning, his piercing blue eyes against my own. I fought back a small, sad smile and nodded my head at him. He spent a couple seconds trying to decide if I was lying or not, before turning around and walking away, towards the showers, no doubt to place the Captain badge he loved so much immediately in his lockers. He liked to keep it safe.

_Yes Ron_, _I understand. I'm okay._

And so deeply in love with your sister it's driving me crazy.

Besides, it wasn't like he wasn't talking to me, he was, so was Hermione, I think she must have talked to Ginny, because Ron was still talking to me, he was just a bit cold and sarcastic and...meaner, than he usually was. Hermione, bless her, must have told him not to judge before he knew everything. Hermione was certainty being nice to me, _very_ nice actually. I think she had the brilliant ability of understanding Ginny's point of view, but mine too. Either way, I was glad they didn't hate me.

By the time I had got to the showers, having taken the longer route to get there, it was empty of everyone else. They had all likely rushed to the common room for the celebration of us beating Slytherin, properly all gossiping and wondering why on earth Harry Potter had practically beaten the shit out of Malfoy and almost thrown him off his broom a good hundred feet in the air, not that any of them would have actually complained. Not a single Gryffindor liked Malfoy, but that goes without saying.

I grabbed the clean towel out of my locker and closed it shut, and ran a hand through my hair in frustration. Sighing, I went to the shower and turned the hot water on, letting it practically burn my skin with the heat of it, turning my skin an almost angry red, I gritted my teeth and stood still. The heat was becoming too much but I held firmly in place, my hand on the cold handle but not turning it, till I heard a soft familiar voice whispering in my head, telling me gently to stop torturing myself and gasping in pain I switched the cold water on till I was left standing in the shower with moderately warm water.

I cleaned myself with soap and washed my hair, taking my time, watching as the blood from the cut on my leg continue to flow with the rest of the water in to the drain. I heaved a deep breath, feeling tears fall from my eyes, onto my cheeks before they camouflaged with the water of the shower. I closed my eyes, feeling the ache in my chest rise a tenfold in pain, till I was left clutching at my chest and holding onto the wall for support.

_I missed her, so much._

I pushed the pain away, ignored it long enough to turn the water off, wrap a towel across my waist and walk towards my locker. I waved a hand over myself and become instantly dry, but came to a stop when I saw someone sitting on the benches.

"Hello?" I said, rubbing my eyes, opening them to find a ridiculously beautiful girl looking up at me. She wore her clock, opened to reveal her school uniform underneath. She had honey brown hair that flickered with colour when the light hit it, plump full lips, a beautiful, albeit nervous smile and big chocolate brown eyes. Eyes that looked so much like _her's_ that I felt all the love and hurt and everything rush into me. I could tune out everything from this girl and focus just on her eyes, which I did; unable to hold myself back any longer.

Then, just like that, all I saw was Ginny.

I briefly registered the Slytherin badge on chest before I blinked and she was standing right in front of me. I'd seen her around sometimes, always with a group of giggling friends, always with a guy trying to discreetly watch her. She was in my year, sat two rows behind me in DADA. I don't know where the sudden knowledge came from, and I didn't pause to wonder how on earth I could be so intently focused on her but all so on someone completely different, someone who wasn't actually here, but upstairs in the common room.

"Hi" she said shyly, ducking her face, her cheeks blushing a violent red. My stomach lurched painfully. I was about to open my mouth "I need a favour" she continued

Dumfounded, still aware I was only in a towel, I nodded my head stupidly. What she said next took me by surprise, but thinking back on it, I knew I had known what she wanted the moment I saw her sitting, obviously waiting for me.

She leaned forward and stretched on her tip toes to whisper in my ear.

My eyes flew open, remembering _her_ soft voice as she told me she wanted the same thing. I felt a lump in my throat as I stared into her big brown eyes, perfectly outlined with thick black eyelashes.

"...your first?" I whispered gently, frowning inwardly as I felt my hands sneak towards her waist to pull her gently towards me, seemingly doing this all without my consent.

"My first" she repeated, inching her body closer to me, her hand coming up to stroke my face carefully as my hands moved towards her shoulders, slowly peeling her clock from her till it hit the ground with a soft sound.

By now I didn't think of all the weirdness of this all. I had been approached by girls all the time, it wasn't anything new. But I didn't stop to question the absurdity of it all, had I suddenly turned into a 'man whore' as I heard girls refer to guys sometimes, now so much so that girls came to me looking for sex? This felt different, I wasn't sure, and maybe because she was a Slytherin and I had a strict no-Slytherin shagging rule but her eyes and her blush reminded me so much of the girl I loved with every single fibre of my being, with every breath I would ever breathe for the rest of my life, that I nodded, reached down and scooped her up gently and held her to me as I moved us towards the bench. She gasped in surprise, opening her mouth, but the look on my face silenced her. I flicked my hand towards the bench, cushioning it, before I gently sat her on it.

She was gazing at me intently, I barley heard her telling me this was strictly between me and her, with a hard steel in her voice, that reminded me of the Slytherin in her, before she waved her wand towards her stomach and performed the spell that would prevent us becoming parents early. Thank God she did, because I don't think I was in the right mindset too.

I slowly sat down next to her, and would always remember the many minutes to come as a result of me being dazed with love. It's clichéd and girly to say it was like watching a movie, where I had no control over my actions but that's the closet I could describe it to.

I remember peeling her clothes of slowly, her uncertain face becoming positive with her decision as she saw the expression on my face. Her otherwise hard, blushing face turned soft when she looked in to my eyes. As I peeled her skirt from her slowly, feeling the tightness in my groin and watching her eye the ever increasing dent in my towel, I only saw Ginny.

I delicately grabbed her thighs and moved her till she was sitting on my lap, naked, beautiful and stupidly trusting for someone who just met me. I didn't know why she trusted me with someone so huge, why all of a sudden she didn't seem shy or nervous, but expectant. Not of sex, but of _something_.

I caught a sight of my reflection in the mirror and let out a soundless gasp, my mouth forming an 'O' with surprise recognition. My green eyes held such a look of love, devotion and _trust_ that I didn't blame her for her current mood. My face was clean of the rough, hardness but also sadness it always seemed to carry with it these last three months. Three months without Ginny and not a single word exchanged between us, even though she had tried in the beginning.

She opened her mouth, her eyes soft and I looked at her, seeing Ginny in her eyes.

She stroked my face gently "I use to be in love" she told softly, her eyes tight with pain "a long time ago, young and in love" she ran a small hand up and down my chest, watching as my muscles flexed and hardened under her touch. "He died" she whispered, a tear falling slowly down her cheek before I lessoned one hand on her waist, holding her to my lap to brush it away gently. Her eyes fluttered close before she opened them to look at me "I _miss_ him. The Dark Lord took him from me because he wouldn't do what he wanted. I _miss _him Potter. And I know you think all Slytherins are heartless bastards but I loved him and I miss him" she closed her eyes again.

Here she was, naked, sitting on my lap with me in between her thighs. The room was warm from the showers, the doors closed with charms and spells. Her face looked sad, familiarly sad, and I saw such a similar heartbreaking pain residing in her eyes that I nodded, understanding. And she whispered the words I couldn't ever say out loud.

"I just want to feel loved again" she kissed me, slowly, lingering, and I kissed her back "I just want to remember"

'_Do it Harry'_, a voice whispered in my head as I leaned in and kissed her gently, a traitorous tear running down my face, mingling with her new ones. '_It's okay; it's going to be okay.' _The gentle voice told me, peeling away the darkness in my heart that had her name under it '_Give her what you couldn't give me. I promise; it will be okay.'_

I wound my hands up her shoulder gently, kissing her tears away lovingly, as she kissed my collarbone, her hand caressing my chest.

'_it's going to be okay' _ she whispered one last time, before she left my conscience and my mind, returning to the small home she made for herself in my heart long ago.

I kissed her eyelids and her cheeks tenderly, placing her forehead against mine as I banished my towel around my waist, feeling warm skin on warm skin. She bit her lip and looked down, before looking up at me. I managed to smile a bit, raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"It's going to hurt a bit" I told her softly, inching her slowly towards me, till I could feel her against me; hot, wet and waiting. Expectant.

"You think?" she asked sarcastically, sneaking a peak down again

I chuckled, unable to stop myself and kissed her till she relaxed into my arms. Then, looking into her eyes, I lifted her gently on to me and I slipped inside her, holding her just as tightly as she held me. Gritting my teeth, I tried to use all the discipline I owned to stop myself from doing the natural thing my body wanted to do. I waited, letting her get use to me. When she relaxed against me once more, and began to move a little, experimentally, I lifted her head that was on my shoulder and raised her chin, letting her eyes, almond shape and beautiful meet my own.

"I will make you remember, I promise"

* * *

It goes to show how fucked up I am to this point. Fucked up enough to make love to a girl I had known for the space of two seconds, to imagine the love of my life as I was doing it, even though she was properly imaging someone else's face too. I was fucked because the girl I raped against my will and hers appeared in my conscious and eased my fears, calmed the storm in my heart for a little bit, enough to help two broken people feel loved for the hour.

It was just one hour and I've barley seen the girl since, apart from the slight nod of acknowledgement we sent each other, but I knew she felt it all in that hour, I knew she remembered. So did I. And because of that, it was worth it, and I won't let anything fucking take that from me.

After three fucking months without Ginny, I would take the guilt and the hurt for that hour any day of the week. I missed my best friend Ginny; I missed the girl I loved. I miss remembering.

I continued the walk towards the Gryffindor common room I had started ages ago, before getting lost in my emotions and my memories.

I really was fucked up.

* * *

"Well Potter, I hope you realise I can't let you do this very often and I'm already making too much exceptions for you but..." McGonagall's expression softened "just this once. I want you back Sunday night. Do _not_ be late!I won't hesitate to give you detention"

I tried not to show how deeply relived and grateful I was, opting instead for a small smile before I grabbed a handful of floo powder, spoke the address clearly and vanished. I landed about as gracefully as I ever did. Face first into the floor.

"Aargh!" I nearly shouted "Fucking hell! Sweet Merlin-"

The lights flickered on in the room, and I felt someone's wand poke my chin "ow, stop poking me" I muttered, slapping the wand away, Lexy looked down at me, her huge pregnant stomach scaring me

"Harry?" she asked "Harry, what on _earth_ are you doing here? Are you okay?"

I eyed her wand warily, raising an eyebrow as it shot funny red sparks out of it. She glanced at it and placed it on the sofa. She shrugged "It's the pregnancy, my magic's all over the place" she fixed me a stern look as I got up slowly "now, what's happened?"

I grunted and sat down heavily on the sofa "nothing, just needed to come home is all. I got permission. Got to go back Sunday night" She frowned, worried "come on Harry, I'll make you a hot chocolate" I smiled and followed her towards the kitchen.I sat on the counter as she gently wadded towards the cupboard and plucked out two enormous mugs, they were especially made for woman apparently, you know...time of the month...extra chocolate want. I shuddered, then immediately straightened when she turned and looked at me. Lexy smiled as if she knew what I was thinking. She sat the mugs in front of me as the water began to heat.

We didn't talk yet, the room was filled with gentle sounds, the birds outside, the passing traffic, and kids playing one last football game before it got too late. The sun was setting, it was a mixture of orange and gold, with royal purple lines scatter across the sky too, opposite of the other colours but belonging there also. I smiled, peaceful almost, finally at home. I had rushed to McGonagall as soon as my last period finished, being so out of touch with Ron and Hermione that I didn't even tell them. McGonagall had taken one look at my face, heard my plea and eventually decided to let me go. I must have looked more desperate than I thought, or maybe I wasn't hiding it all because she had looked at me for a full minute, her eyes concerned and sympathetic before letting me go.

_Or maybe she was getting soft_,I thought fondly.

I glanced at Lexy as she put the hot drink into each mug. She looked like she was about to pop any day soon, she was _huge_. She was dressed bare footed, with uncle Sirius large t-shirt stretching over her belly, she wore black jogging bottoms made from a soft looking material and her hair was tied up in to a sloppy ponytail, her grey eyes striking. I _adored_ Aunt Lexy, you couldn't help but love her, she was like that. She was like a mum to me, she regularly enforced parental rules, but not in the condescending way you hear 'bad' step-mum's do, she did it properly, she treated me like her own.

I reached for my mug when I heard her wince in pain. I shot out of my chair as she placed her hand on her back, gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. And before I could even reach her, it was gone. She relaxed, breathed in deeply and began to sit down, as if nothing had happened. I hovered over her, one hand on the table, the other on her back

"umm...Aunt Lexy?"

She looked at my face and laughed "its okay Harry, the baby's been more active than usual today, just hurts a bit that's all"

I stood where I was, uncertain "are you sure? Do you need me to get Sirius?"Sirius would be back from work in an hour but I knew he wouldn't hesitate to come home early if Lexy needed him too.

She smiled affectionately and patted my stomach gently "I'm _fine_. Don't you dare act all protective right now Harry, I get enough of it with Sirius at home"

I smiled and sat back down, but not before giving her another look.

She grinned reassuringly "I'm fine you little monkey. Now tell me everything, and don't bother lying to me either, I'll know"

I looked into her eyes and found nothing but unconditional love and acceptance. I felt my shoulders sag in relief, and took a sip of the hot chocolate, letting it fill me up with warmth. The sun hit my shoulder and I closed my eyes, when I opened them, she was still silent, waiting patiently for me to speak. "Well, a few months ago Ginny came to me for help..."

* * *

Quick note; i just really wanted to get this out here, i was in a writing mood (they don't seem to come to often recetenly) and i didn't want you guys too wait, think of this as half a chapter, since i normally don't end it like this but anyway, enjoy! hopefully the next one will be up soon

oh and yes, he is going to be swearing more frequently, his just angry :P


	15. You're The One For Me

"_- The best love is the kind that awakens the soul, and makes us reach for more. That plants fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me, that's what I'd hope to give to you forever"_

**Noah, The Notebook.**

Ginny Weasley would consider herself brave. If there was a moment in life were she was demanded to present her virtues and abilities, she could do courage in a heartbeat. She was a Weasley and she was a Gryffindor. Both prized bravery, but she no longer felt brave anymore, that's what he did to her.

Sure, she'd still face Voldemort without much hesitation, she would jump in front of a curse for someone she loved with absolute no hesitation, but whilst he made her feel strong, and daring and _alive_, everything Harry invoked in her made her feel _vulnerable _too. As if he was both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness.

Did he feel that way too?

Even though she'd was sixteen and quite mature for her age, sometimes Ginny felt like she was still the same eleven year old girl whom Tom Riddle scared beyond repair. You can't fix dark magic with a flick of a wand and a kiss from mom. But that wasn't nearly as scary as falling in love with her best friend. Truth was, she was scared, she couldn't find her Weasley courage, and the one person who normally use to make her feel brave, who shot hope in her chest and burned passion into her heart could no longer bear to look at her and made her feel the opposite. It was a paradox situation.

Ginny signed tiredly, her hands coming to cup her exhausted face, her shoulders sagging as the all too familiar Scottish rain began to lightly wet her in the cold mid afternoon light. She harshly brushed away the tears that camouflaged with the rain and stared up at the ancient castle. It was blurry through her tears and the rain, but she could still make it out. She felt gut-wrenchingly lonely, and regretful. She'd been feeling lonely for the last three months now, and it was all her fault.

Ginny hadn't been accustomed to the pain and guilt that comes with regret. She had a quick temper, and sometimes did the Weasley thing and made rash decisions, much like Ron sometimes did when he too was angry. Regret was a disgusting feeling, she thought, it clawed its way into your system, and sometimes made you feel so full of longing to change an action you could no longer control, it could render her to tears in a heartbeat. And she _hated _crying.

Abhorred it completely

She was in love with Harry, filled with so much love for him that it was like wild fire running through her veins. In love enough with him that when she wasn't doing the _Harry_ thing and drowning in self loathing, she was actually happy, being in love made her happy. She wanted to be happy with him.

'_I'm going to be honest with him'_ she thought, sitting up straighter, _'I love him. I do. It's _Harry..._'_ She quickly swiped a hand over her eyes when she heard someone call her name. Her head turned in the direction of the voice and she squinted her eyes against the dark, managing to spot Hermione.

"Hermione? What's going on?" she shouted, standing up and walking towards the girl

Hermione frowned in disapproval upon seeing Ginny's wet appearance and carefully walked towards her, eyeing the wet quidditch grass with weariness. She came to a halt in front of Ginny and her expression melted in to that of concern. "I've been looking for you for almost a half hour! Honestly Ginny, the places you go to-"

Ginny casually ignored this.

"-I told Ron you might be outside, but he said there was no way you'd be outside in this weather, and I told him you might be because you've done it before, so of course he said-"Hermione went on, without a moment of breath it seemed before Ginny coughed, hiding a smile and Hermione reverted back to her main point.

"What I mean is that, Alexis has gone into labour an hour ago. Harry is already there at the hospital, as is your mother and father. What his doing there I don't know, I went looking for him as well and he didn't tell me he'd-"

Ginny gasped and her eyes widened, a delighted smile spreading across her face "Hermione! Lexy's having the baby?" she asked, already beginning to walk towards the main door to floo towards St. Mungo's hospital.

Hermione quickened her pace to match Ginny's "No, she's _already_ had the baby, it was a quick delivery, apparently Harry was with her and took care of her"

They reached Professor McGonagall's office before Ginny's already large smile seemed to grow "I'm going to be a Godmother!"

Hermione smiled to, and reached for her wand, performing a drying spell for both girls. Yes, you are. You and Harry will make lovely Godparents"

Ginny's hands hesitated upon knocking at her words. Her eyes defensive and an intense dark chocolate brown, sighing as Hermione placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Upon seeing Hermione's face, she quickly interrupted Hermione's impending round of questions. "I'm fixing it. Today." Ginny told her with conviction and turned to knock swiftly at McGonagall's door but stopped as a sprinting redheaded Ron almost ran into Hermione trying to catch up with them.

"Hey! Wait for me!" he cried, before bumping into Hermione, who shrieked and was in the process of falling before Ron grabbed her shoulders gently and lifted her closely to him. "Ron! Do you mind?" she snapped at him, slapping him on the shoulder

His reply came with a large cheeky grin that made Hermione uncharacteristically seem to turn into a puddle of mush, much to Ginny's obvious amusement. "Sorry" he winked. He inched towards her face as her hands came around his shoulders, his smile matching hers as she closed her fluttering eyes, before Ginny had enough.

"Umm...Hello! There's a baby waiting to meet her Godmother here!" Ginny exclaimed, effectively breaking up the loved up couple. She might have been jealous had this been any other time, but her conviction to apologise to Harry and meet her Godchild far, far outweighed any silly instinctive emotions

. They continued to look into each other's eyes as Ginny finally knocked on the door "finish this later?" Ron asked, straightening up Hermione shot him a saucy smile and whispered in his ear.

His eyes widened and he grinned "mmm, can't wait"

Ginny rolled her eyes just as the door opened.

The next twenty or so minutes passed by Ginny too quick and unimportant for her to really take in. McGonagall was hesitant at first to let them go, but to be honest Ginny knew she didn't actually mind much, even going as far as allowing them the next two days off after Sunday, after which Easter break would immediately come and they'd all be lesson and Hogwarts free for two weeks. Ginny thought McGonagall was working hard to still hold the image of a fierce, somewhat cold professor, that especially the wars had needed her to be, truth was she was softening, and instead of exploiting that the students embraced it with a kind of dignity that previous war-free generations might not have, hence the pretty quick departure to Saint Mungo's.

As Ron happily linked Hermione's hands with his own, Ginny desperately and nervously glanced at the elevator screen. She was almost there. She'd been named Godmother due to her close connection with both Sirius and Alexis. With Sirius it was her striking reminder of Lily Potter, also the fact that her friendship with Harry made Sirius very happy. He'd made lots of comments about them over the years, hints at getting them together, apparently finding them to much of a good couple to not help himself, but she had been too young to ever really get that, and when she grew up she had been too naive, or maybe just blocked it in general, but what Sirius meant was that he'd always thought Ginny would have ended up with Harry, something he personally saw with his own eyes with the way the two always had that extra _something_ added to her and Harry's already strong friendship. He'd enjoy muttering 'Potter and redheads' at moments of particular heat between the two friends.

If it wasn't any of that, the simple fact that Sirius adored Ginny was enough. With Alexis it was Ginny's calming and positive influence on Harry when he had at first been weary, quiet and generally distant of Lexy. She knew, even then, what he needed to be told to calm his racing insecurities. '_No, Sirius is not leaving you or ignoring you for his new girlfriend and yes, he will always love you very much'_, she remembered telling him. It wasn't long before Harry opened up, and she knew he loved the woman like another mum now. Ginny cherished the fact she was given the honour of being their first child's godmother, it warmed her heart

Once they reached the correct floor, her feet seemed to slow down of their own accord, enough so that Hermione and Ron had already greeted everyone by the time she got to the right ward. She smiled and briefly greeted everyone there before glancing towards the door, where inside was Sirius, a proud beaming father, his loved contented wife, and her own soul mate, who'd no doubt she'd share a rather awkward first conversation with.

She ignored her mother's gushing happiness and the smile on her father's face as they talked with Remus and Tonks, back from their honeymoon, tanned and happy looking. Ron and Hermione sat in the corner, not talking but smiling, Hermione leaning her head against his shoulder as he kissed her gently.

She hesitated just outside the door, before taking deep calming breath, ignored her mother's questioning gaze and slowly walked in, opening the door. As soon as she had shut the door behind her, quietly too, not wanting to disturb the people in the room just yet, her eyes immediately zoned in on the scene in front of her and she could almost feel her heart melt at the sight. Lexy was asleep, she looked tired, but peaceful sleeping with Sirius' arms wrapped around her shoulders as they both lay in the small hospital bed. Her pitch-black hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail; she shinned with the afterglow of birth.

Ginny smiled, they usually romanticised that part in her trashy romance novels she had hidden under her bed; or that box-thing that Harry called a television. They made childbirth look pretty and beautiful. Mostly it wasn't, but the way Sirius would alternate his hungry looks of tender protective love towards his baby and passionate adoration for his wife, you saw as he did the beautiful woman resting peacefully in her hospital bed, and then he closed his eyes and fell asleep next to his wife. She made it look easy, Ginny only hopped she looked half as good as Lexy when she become pregnant.

_Way, way too early to think about that._

That thought process must have lasted half a second, or so it felt, because soon she felt piercing green eyes seek her out and for the first time in a long time she met his eyes with her own. It took another half a second before she felt it all. It was clichéd and corny, it was overused and ridiculously unoriginal, but she honestly felt time stand still, just for a moment, just for them. She read about it, she'd heard about it, but you never fully understand until you've experienced it yourself.

She took no notice of the couple on the bed, no notice of the noise outside the room. She was only aware of her own racing heart, the familiar passionate warmth in her veins and Harry.

Harry who looked at her as if she was the most beautiful women in the world

Still.

She felt a small shiver of pleasure run down her spin. Even though her mind screamed at her to take it easy, told her to remember to take things slow, that she needed to focus to work things out, her heart screamed louder and she felt happy, safe and loved.

Just like that.

He was wearing socks oddly enough, his crisp white trainers in the corner of the room. He wore black jeans that fit him well and a light blue v-neck sweater that showed a small amount of his chest. He wore the watch Molly Weasley had given him that had belonged to her brother, and whilst Harry was extremely careful with his things and took prestigious care of them, he adored the watch and wore it all the time. Molly still smiled every time she would spot it.

His hair was its usual messy black, sticking up all over the place, but her eyes were drawn to the enormous smile framed by his ridiculously chiselled jaw. Ginny's own smile matched his upon laying eyes on the little baby girl that was protectively held in his arms, wrapped in a soft pink blanket.

Her feet moved of their own occurred again, this time forwards, till they met halfway, the baby between them, breathing in the sight of each other. Neither noticed Sirius' large smirk and as he opened his mouth to comment, he was suddenly subtly elbowed by his wife who then proceeded to pretend to sleep once more. He grunted, before smiling and hugging Lexy to him, closing his eyes as he rested his head against his wife's.

"Hi" Harry whispered, breaking the silence

Ginny smiled back "Hi yourself" she said, before she could no longer hold it in anymore and moved to hold the baby in her arms.

Harry laughed softly and placed the baby expertly into her arms. Ginny held her head as natural female instinct seemed to wash into Ginny and after a bit she was holding the new addition of the Black family with ease. Ginny gasped upon taking a closer look at the child. She was beautiful, with a tuft of soft black hair, dark thick eyelashes and rosy cheeks.

"She's a beauty isn't she?" Harry breathed out, a reverence in his eyes as he looked at the small bundle. "Sirius will have his hands full when she's older, that's for sure"

Ginny laughed quietly, leaning down to kiss her Goddaughters tiny head "No doubt about that" she replied.

Harry smiled softly "They named her Maya Nymphadora Black"

Ginny laughed gently "what's with the Black's and star constellation?"

He laughed too "I really don't know. It's pretty though"

"I think so too"

She wasn't really sure what happened next, didn't know if both their emotions caught up with them and they both could no longer hide them, but before she knew it she was leaning up as Harry leaned down and their lips met. It was so soft, so gentle, as Harry gently cupped her face that she felt embarrassed to feel moister in her eyes.

Maybe everything would be ok after all.

He kissed her once, twice before pulling away. "We need to talk, you know that don't you?" Harry told her, smiling softly

"I know" she replied, gazing into his eyes, a hungry expression suddenly painted on her face "I know"

They stood like that for a little bit, it could have been a minute or five, she wouldn't have been able to say. She just knew as she looked at him that he was as eager to sort it out as she was, but the gentle kind of eager, were for now they were both perfectly content to be together in silence, marvelling at their Godchild together, simply enjoying each other's presence.

_- Harry-_

It was many quite moments later that I finally found some alone time with Ginny. After several long hours, and plenty of hugs, everyone went their separate ways; Remus and Tonks to their new home. Mr and to the burrow, and after gentle persuasion, it was agreed that Ron and Ginny could spend a couple of days with the Black and Potter family at Grimmauld place. Hermione had already sent word to her parents and she was more than happy to stay too. Personally, it provided me with much too good of an opportunity to talk and surround myself with Ginny.

When the clock struck two in the morning, I finally found myself alone with her. The others had all slowly trudged tiredly up the stairs and to bed quite a while ago. No one had commented when it was just Ginny and I alone. The fire roaring in the fireplace softly lit up the room, making her hair look the colour of wild fire. She was laying on her back, stretched out on the sofa, whilst I sat on the opposite end, her feet on my lap as I absentmindedly drew patterns around her exposed leg, where I had raised her jeans a bit, exposing her creamy smooth skin.

We were both lost in the moment, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the silence of good company. I glanced at her, making note of the peaceful expression on her face as her eyes closed, but I knew she wasn't asleep. I kept lazily massaging her leg.

"I love it when you do that" she murmured, her tongue poking out to moisten her lips and for the briefest moments I become distracted.

I smiled, confused "Do what?"

"What you're doing to my leg. It feels nice" she told me, opening her eyes to meet mine. I smiled at her. She breathed in deeply, then sat up, her legs coming to curl themselves underneath her as she shuffled towards me. "I'm sorry"

I opened my mouth to interrupt when she suddenly covered mouth with her hand. I smiled into her hand, remembering a time when I had done the same to her, what felt like a lifetime ago whilst I was 'teaching' her.

She slowly dropped her hand, stared straight into my eyes as I stared back, the light chocolate colour of her eyes holding me to where I was. "I ran" she began to tell me "I got scared and I ran. And I'm not a runner, that's what's so bloody infuriating" she tiled her head softly to the side, like a curious child gazing at a shiny new toy, far beyond their reach "I loved you" she admitted with a shaky breath, as I felt my own breathing stop for a small moment. "-Before you started dating more girls than Lockhart. I loved you before Riddle and the chamber, and Voldemort and his nightmare. Loved you before I realised that being with you was as easy as breathing" she looked away from my face, gazing beyond me at the fire "that day you climbed in to my tree house in that annoyingly arrogant way of yours, I think I've loved you since then."

I felt my eyes shut as I breathed in deeply. _She loves me_. I immediately tried not to get to happy, tried desperately not to show the hope and happiness at hearing her say it. I glanced at her and saw her smile soften whilst she looked at me.

She moved closer to me and I wrapped my arms around her waist till she was sitting in my lap. I breathed her in, the strawberry smell of her perfume and that unique flowery smell that was all Ginny. I hugged her tightly to me and felt her sigh in relief against me, as if all of a sudden some great weight had been taken of her shoulders.

I turned her head and I found my lips moving off their own accord as her own met mine in the middle. My hands came to rest on her soft cheeks as I kissed her with a gentleness I didn't know I possessed, finding my heart return from the cold depth it had hidden away to for so long.

Ginny Weasley wondered if there were a million definitions of love. She found her heart melting into a soft puddle of goo, much like Hermione's expression earlier in the day, as Harry continued to hold on to her. He didn't have to tell her he loved her, she knew it already. She felt it in the way he held her, much like he was doing currently. She felt it when he looked at her, half way across the room surrounded by his friends, the look in his eyes telling her that he missed her, even if she was just half a room away from him. Ginny knew she had meant it when she said that it wasn't right to find your soul mate at sixteen, yet she figured many people did. Some found a soul mate in their best friends, and she figured that was pretty special on its own. Others, like herself, found it in the one person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.

She curled up into him, smiling as he kissed her head softly. She had missed him. Like crazy, she had, with a sort of passionate longing she had never felt in her entire life. That was the reason she ran. She missed him when he wasn't with her, even if he had just spent the entire day with him. She had confessed this to Hermione, wondering if it was at all natural to miss someone you saw all the time. Hermione had responded with a gentle 'yes' and the soft confession that she felt that way about Ron too.

"Why were you so scared?" Harry whispered suddenly to her, his green eyes striking against the firelight. He rubbed soft comforting circles on her arm.

Ginny breathed deeply, biting her lips "I guess...well I guess I finally admitted it. Too myself that is. I've been pretending not to be in love with you a long time, and I was angry at myself because _i_ came to _you_ for help" she shook her head angrily "I mean, I knew it was dangerous for me to ask for your help, but I was too angry at Dean and then too proud to back out."

"Why was it dangerous?" he asked, catching her eyes

"Because you make me nervous" She replied, her eyes twinkling as she fought the blush that was raising on her face "you've always had that affect on me"

She slapped him playfully when his grin started to become pompous "Oi, keep your ego in check Potter, please"

He laughed happily, his shoulders shaking against her back "I'm sorry it's just, that how you've been making me feel for the last two years. A combination of nervousness and happiness" his smile softened "I've missed you like mad. I thought I couldn't possibly miss you as much as the last time we were fighting, but I missed you more"

Ginny's eyes began to water, the hurt look on his face chipping away at her heart. He shook his head absentmindedly "I didn't think I could miss you more, then I'd actually see you in the corridor and it was _horrible_. I really didn't think I could miss you more, but then again I didn't think I could love you more either"

She sniffed, gazing at him "love me more? How could you possible love me at all? I've been horrible to you. How can you even forgive me? We...we made love and I ...I just ran." She looked down, ashamed. "I can't forgive myself Harry, how on earth can you?" she asked him, a traitorous tear running slowly down her face.

Harry reached out and swiped it away with his thump, holding her face gently in his hands as he forced her eyes to meet his. "I love you and it's because I love you that I can forgive you" he shook his head "I don't even have to forgive you. God knows how many times I messed up and you _always_ forgave me"

His face turned sad "I think you must be the only girl in the world who'd ever be able to love me. _All_ of me. Sure, it took you a while to come clean" he grinned "but you do, I saw it in your eyes a long while ago. You love me, like I love you."

Ginny felt her heart flutter in her chest, her veins turn to fire at the way he was looking at her. "I love you" he repeated, whispering it gently against her ear. She shivered. "Now...i...i know I always seem to have a way with words, but we both know I'm not as poetic as other guys, I just know I'll love you for the rest of my life. You're the one for me Ginny"

Harry smiled, chuckling as she pressed her mouth fiercely against his own. She moaned into the kiss, running her hands against his hair and gripping it tightly in her fingers as she opened her mouth to play the tango with his tongue. They broke off when the needs to breath become apparent.

She licked her lips "hmm, definitely missed you"

Harry laughed outright "that's all you've missed? And they say _I'm_ the horny one"

She elbowed him and smirked when he grunted "no" she told him, running her hands over his face, before glancing in to his eyes "I missed...the way you kiss me before we go to sleep. I miss running around in our animagus. I miss the way you sulk when I beat you at poker"

"Hey!" he cried in indignation "you cheat!"

She laughed "I do not cheat! Your such a sore loser Harry"

He huffed and pretended to sulk. "Aww, poor Harry, always bested by a Wesley" she laughed, and kissed him till his smile grew wider. She ran her hand through his hair "I love you Potter" she told him, her face serious as she gazed into his eyes unabashedly.

His rewarding smile threatened to split his face "I love you too Weasley

-_Harry_-

We stayed up the entire night talking. I'd forgotten what I was like to talk to someone for hours and hours and not run out of things to say. I'd also forgotten that we were both passionate people and argued about the silliest things, hence the resulting silencing charm placed in the living room at around five o'clock in the morning.

I woke with the sun beaming against my closed eyelids. I smiled tiredly before I awoke slowly, trying to move my arms before I realised something, or someone was sleeping against my chest. I peeked one eye open and my smile widen when I saw bright red head spread across my chest, Ginny sleeping happily against me. "Ah crap", I muttered as hundreds of invisible pins and needles shot their way across the arm Ginny's head was sleeping on "bugger"

"Well...lookie here" said an annoyingly smug voice

_Crap_.

I tried to cover up my yawn "go away Sirius, I'm still sleeping"

He laughed " No can do little one, sorry, the Weasley's will be here any moment and I'd doubt Molly would be all too happy to see you sleeping with her little girl" he grinned.

I jumped out of the sofa so fast you'd of thought my ass had caught on fire.

"Aah" shouted Ginny in anger, as she toppled on top of me

"Aah" I groaned, feeling her knee hit my family jewels "sweet Merlin..."

"Aah!"

Ginny laughed, alternating between straightening her hair and rubbing her eyes "why on earth are you screaming Sirius?"

He shrugged; looking in my direction "I have no clue" he smiled "Right! I'll make breakfast shall I?" and he turned around and whistled as he walked towards the kitchen.

Ginny laughed again "Being a dad suits him, don't you think Harry?" she frowned, finally glancing down at me. "What the matter with you Harry?" she asks, coming place her hands on my shoulders.

I moan in pain "you kneed my misters" I roll over, my hands covering my area.

She laughs before she can help it then immediately starts covering her mouth with her hand, trying to cover her giggles. "Sorry darling, but don't expect me to kiss it better" she jokes

I stop withering on the floor, my eyebrows rising. "No?"

She smiles cheekily and shakes her head "nope"

She laughs at my pretend heart broke expression as I stop moving and try to catch my breath. "Well...you kind of elbowed my cheek..." I hint, smiling.

She smiles widely, moving slowly towards me before she comes to a stop next to me, leaning her back against the sofa, copying my position. "Does it hurt?" she asks, grinning

"Yes, terribly" I reply, trying to keep a straight face "kiss it better?"

"Mmm" she hums, caressing the make believe pain on my cheek before placing a soft kiss. I close my eyes against the intoxicating smell that is Ginny.

"Better?" she asks, leaning back

I lick my lips, no longer fighting the smile "my lips hurt"

She laughs "I can fix that"

"Please do" I smile as she leans down and places her soft lips against mine, tenderly, as if we have all the time in the world.

I cup her face "thank you" I whisper against her lips

She breathes in deeply "it was my pleasure"

There's a sudden crash in the kitchen, the sound of pots banging against each other and we share a quiet laugh.

She kisses me once more "I'll go help Sirius out"

I smile, looking up at her "okay, I'll be there soon, let me just go awake up Ron"

She turns to walk away "-and Hermione"

I slowly stand up, a puzzled smile on my face "Hermione? Isn't she in your room?"

I can hear Ginny's laugh floating back towards me "nope!"

I laugh too, my cheek muscles hurting from the smile gracing my face. I run a hand through my hair, watching as she walks away from me, her hips swinging in her jeans, her curvy figure making me drool.

I place a hand over my beating heart "the things you do to me" I whisper into the empty room before walking towards the stairs and to the guest room, where I would find my two best friends sleeping peacefully in each other's arms.

It was a beautiful Monday afternoon when we returned to Hogwarts. The warm breeze made the grass dance together in harmony as the sun shone against my face. The sky was one of those cartoon baby blue, without a cloud in sight, an exceptionally gorgeous day in Scotland.

I lazed happily by my spot in the lake, waiting for Ginny to arrive. My hands were crossed behind my head as I stretched out on the grass, watching the giant squid scare a couple first years. I smirked. I was in my particular favourite spot, just underneath the sun's rays, warming me against the damp grass. It was secluded, no one could see you but you could see everyone.

My smirk faded when I saw Ginny's approaching figure, her face a mixture of anger and hurt. But mostly anger.

I sat up quickly and coughed.

Here we go again

"Ginny?" I called out

She stopped a metre away from me. Her eyes were blazing, her stance defensive, her wand hand twitching.

I gulped.

"_How_ many did you sleep with? Seriously Potter, can't you keep it in your pants?"

_Oooh, crap, _I thought. "see...i can explain that" I told her, my hands raised in a surrender-like pose

"Can you?" she asks angrily

I thought about it for a moment. "no, not really"

She huffed in frustration, suddenly beginning to pace back and forth "twenty, Harry? Seriously? You...you horny toad!"

"hey!" I exclaimed "it wasn't twenty! It was more like...i don't know..."

She glared at me, her hands resting on her hips as she stopped pacing. She looked so much like Mrs. Weasley for a moment I had to blink. "How many then?"

"...eleven" I let out. She raised her eyebrows at me "fine! Fifteen okay? Fifteen"

She lets out a frustrated sort of noise and presumes her pacing, muttering angrily.

"Ginny? What's the problem? I told you all of this"

She turned to glare at me, and I found my trousers tightening uncomfortably at the look on her face. She was just so unbelievably sexy when she was mad.

"The problem..."she huffed "the problem is..."

In later years I wouldn't be able to find any other word to describe what she did next. Ginny Weasley attacked me.

Her mouth latched itself on to mine as she kissed me fiercely. I felt the familiar feeling of passionate fire race its way across my entire body as I gripped her waist and brought her body closer to my own. Her hands cupped my face as she ran her tongue against my mouth before I opened up for her. I moaned as her hands began to lower themselves before she brought them back up and ran her hand through my hair, her tongue making me dizzy with pleasure.

We continued this way for several moments and before I knew it we where both on the ground, our tops on scattered on the grass around us. I placed my hands spread out on her back as she kissed me, my back to the grass as I pulled back to forever remember the image of Ginny Weasley gloriously grinding on top of me. My jeans by now were confining my favourite part of my body tightly.

"Ginny?" I groaned when she jerked against me "sweet Merlin... Ginny what are- Gods this is so hot"

"Harry?"

"Yes?" I managed to respond, barley hearing her above the beating of my heart

"Shut up"

I smirked, kissing her fiercely as I rolled her over, took all my energy to focus casting the correct spell, then proceed to let her thoroughly ravish me.

Several long moments later, my head stopped spinning long enough to be able to say something "Did you..." I laughed incredulously "did you just 'angry sex' me?" I panted, turning my head to smile at her, inches away from my face as we both laid down side by side.

The self satisfied smirk on her face said it all. "Yep"

I breathed in deeply "so you're not angry?" I

She smiled, glancing up, the stars shining brightly down at us and winking against the dark canvas backdrop of the night sky. I conjured a thick blanket lazily with a wave of my hand, smiling contently as she snuggled against me as I drew her closer, our legs intertwining.

"Nope" she told me, making a popping sound with the 'p'. She smiled contently "next time I'll get you good and mad at me too and we can go again"

I laughed happily, finding myself fall a little bit more in love with her again. "The things you do to me woman"

She grinned, her eyes closed as her face turned towards me "you drive me crazy Harry. No more screwing up. It's for real this time, promise?"

I kissed her nose "I promise. Just promise to get mad at me more often"

"Oh, don't you worry about that. It'll happen again soon" she told me, her cheeky smile lighting up my world.

I laughed and kissed her softly, running my hands down from her waist down towards her inner thighs. I smiled when she began to squirm happily and moan.

"Harry..."

I kissed her neck "one more time"

She laughed gently "I'm tired" she told me, before moaning once more.

I thought about it for a couple of seconds, and then smirked mischievously. "Girls can't play Quidditch."

Her eyes popped open "excuse me?" she questioned, glancing up at me sharply

I smirked teasingly "you heard me"

She made a growling noise deep in the back of her throat before she suddenly tackled me. I laughed with ecstatic enthusiasm as she happily pinned me on the ground, her triumph grin as big as my own.

And then we proceeded to make a couple more memories.

* * *

_You know, when I started writing this, it was a long time ago. Along the way, my life's changed in many different ways and i think because of that, any other fiction i write will be a million times better. Either way, it wasn't how I wanted to end this story (I actually had a better idea for it) but I'm just going to leave it at that, and hope that you enjoyed the journey =)_


End file.
